Hometown: The 3rd Stall on the Right by way of the Nearest Men's Room
Date of Birth: 06/22/1921
Height: 6'-0"
Weight: 369 1/2 lbs.
Theme Music: "You're the Best" by Joe Esposito
Setup Move: Breathing Heavily
Finisher: "I'm Falling and I Can't Get Up"
Finisher Description: Earthquake Squash - I run the ropes, but I'm not very fast. Sometimes I'll even stop halfway to the ropes, turn around and come back as if I were rebounding off the ropes. Once I reach my downed opponent I leap as high as I can and fall butt first on their chest. I remain seated on them, as the referee counts.
Biography:
Much like Johnny Cash, I have been everywhere, man. I’ve seen it all, done it all, lived it all, man. A few years ago I hung up the boots once and for all. Or at least what I thought was once and for all. But then the money dried up. One too many all you can eat buffets, or one too many late night massage parlors, take your pick. Now, I’m a BBW looking to recapture my glory years, by riding a new set of coattails to the top!
Come here Larry, and introduce yourself…
Hi, my name’s Larry.
I just told them that.
Anyway, I always liked to wrestle. A lot. But whenever I’d try and get people to have a go, I’d usually hear something about not wanting this baby named Hughie and before I could make any sense of telling me about some kid i’ve never met, they’re gone.
Did you ever find out who Hughie was?
No… So I figured the only way I’d ever get my fix was to go pro, or try to at least. I found a couple places where I had some early success, but whenever the big wigs would try and recruit me, I’d find some way to screw things up.
Doesn’t sound like us at all!
It usually happened after they’d ask for any referrals and well, I thought my rich Uncle Jiles would be a good place to start, with his creds and all. But they all said they’d never heard of him!
Preposterous! Who hasn’t heard of COOL Cancer Jiles!?
Stumps me. But then I found Mr. Dean. He’s got to be one of, if not, THE nicest and smartest fellas I’ve ever come across in the biz. His heart is as big as his tummy! He’s taught me so much already, and I just hope he continues to see that I’m worth the time he’s put in. And if any of you out there think Mr. Dean’s crazy for taking me on… well.. I sure hope you’re hungry… Cuz I gotta KNUCKLE SANDWICH… WITH YOUR NAME ON IT!
Ring Entrance:
We walk to the ring, obviously. With our music playing, obviously. Larry enters first; it takes Bobby a little more time to climb those damn steps. But once in the ring, Bobby plays to the crowd while Larry stands in his corner fidgeting nervously. Every now and then he’ll offer an awkward wave. (Feel free to have fun with it.)
