BBD: Blow harder!!!!
A fitting, cold open from BDSM. Larry takes a deep breath, wheezing as he looks toward his mentor with pleading eyes. Bobby stands there with a large, fitted sheet wrapped around his throat. Larry holds the ends of the sheet up, blowing as hard as he can into it.
BBD: I need a bigger billow! I can’t have those two hacks out-billow me!
LL: Maybe if you ran around, the momentum would create the billow you desire, Mr. Dean?
BBD: Ran? Around? What do you mean? Like, walk fast in circles? Or, should I just spin around really fast?
LL: No, I mean, run. You know, like jogging… but faster?
Fed up, Lunchbox sighs, and decides to change the subject.
LL: What exactly are we doing out here, sir?
Bobby looks around, allowing the cameras to pan out and show the two men in a crowded street. The duo, getting rather odd looks from the passersby, as it’s not every day you see a fat man in his tighty blueys with a sheet tied around his girthy throat. And of course, Larry, a grown man with a lunchbox clutched in his hands looking like the Big, Bad Wolf huffing and puffing away.
BBD: I told you. I can’t be out magicked. Not by those two! Hey, anyone wanna see something prodigious!?
He calls out to the people around him, causing a handful to stop in curious wonder.
BBD: Look closely. Nothing in my hands, right? But with just the magic sound…
Bobby’s stomach begins to growl hungrily. All of a sudden a Twinkie appears in Bobby’s hand. Larry nonchalantly tries to put the empty wrapper back into his lunchbox, but a pair of rabbit ears peek out, making the quick switch a little more obvious than it was intended. Meanwhile, Bobby presents the treat to the crowd, as he licks his lips seductively.
BBD: Now, I will make this disappear!
With flair and panache, Bobby shoves the entire Twinkie into his mouth. In one massive swallow, the Twinkie is devoured! The people look to each other in confusion, while out of nowhere, Lunchbox Larry begins to clap his hands enthusiastically.
The unimpressed crowd quickly disperses, causing Bobby to turn towards Larry with a scowl on his face. Larry looks sheepish in return.
LL: I’m sorry, Mr. Dean. I didn’t mean to ruin your tricks.
BBD: Anyone ever told you that you’re unlikeable at times? They’re illusions, Michael! Tricks are something ladies of the night do for money… or booger sugar.
LL: Wait, that name didn’t even rhyme with Larry…
Shaking his head, Bobby produces a deck of cards out from under a roll of fat, and holds them up.
BBD: Now what am I supposed to do with these things?
LL: Never mind the cards, sir. I’m honestly a little worried about the Amarettos.
Bobby offers a shrug as he carefully places the deck of cards back where he pulled them out from.
LL: Uhhh, ‘cause they’re really, really good! Plus, if they win then we have to face them again… with our titles on the line!
With a glare, Bobby’s voice drops uncharacteristically low.
BBD: No one will take MY titles from ME! No one!
LL: I don’t think we can count on luck this time around.
Larry ignores Bobby’s outburst, and just as quickly Bobby’s voice returns to normal.
BBD: Luck!? Last time they faced us they showed us just how “Amazing” they were by pulling off the best vanishing act of all time. Well, second best vanishing act. That thing I just did with the Twinkie surely has to top that! Nothing will prepare those man-witches… Mmmmm, Manwich…
Lunchbox snaps his fingers in front of Bob’s face to break the trance.
LL: Yeah, well I heard they got their watches fixed and calendars updated. I think we’ve got a fight on our hands, sir.
BBD: You know what I heard?
BBD: I heard them saying how amazing your mom was in bed!
Larry’s face turns crimson as he clenches his fists at each side.
LL: Well those dirty mouthed morons better be hungry! Because I’ve got a couple of amazing knuckle sandwiches… WITH THEIR NAMES ON ‘EM!!!
BBD: Time to pull the curtain back on their magic act, and show them just how rough BDSM can get!
Larry throws a fist up.
LL: IT’S TIME FOR LUNCH!
BBD: Hey now, don’t say that unless you mean it!