We open on a lovely view of the beach, with appropriate decor to give us the idea that we are somewhere along the coast of one of the Hawaiian islands as superimposed text informs us this is, sure enough, “A RANDALL SCHWARTZ PRODUCTION.” Speaking of, the man himself steps into frame wearing his finest beachwear, complete with brilliantly obnoxious sunglasses as he makes his way to a beach chair with a smile on his face and a beverage in his hand.
“Ah, the good life. When you make a trip to the pay window like I did after beating Harry Chest, you learn to really enjoy the lap of luxury.”
He arrives at his chair with a chuckle, before taking a sip of his drink. Randall smacks his lips, which garners another chuckle from The Entertainer.
“Yes, it tastes sweet. So sweet, in fact, that I’m looking forward to doing it again! I happen to have my eye on two men in particular whom I have the opportunity to step into the ring with and declare my dominance over once more. The first is Rikki Roxx, I man I defeated in my very first bout in Classic Wrestling.”
Before he continues, he makes a point to set his drink down carefully so as to not get sand in it as he seats himself upon the chair. Satisfied with the landing, he smiles and turns his attention back to us.
“Now, I have to be honest…I’m not entirely sure I need to say much more about Rikki Roxx beyond what I said the first time we squared off. Honestly, what do you tell someone you’ve beaten before?”
Randall takes a moment to ponder this before answering his own question.
“I suppose I can just say, I won’t let the fact that I have your number get in the way of making sure you don’t pull a fast one on me?”
He laughs at the absurdity of that response, taking another sip of his drink before continuing.
“I’ll be keeping a half an eye on you, Rikki. Last thing I’d want is for you to make a fool out of me. In the meantime, there is the matter of the recently-debuting Holo Make, who evidently calls one of these islands his home. I’m not entirely sure which one, I decided to make a lovely trip to the first one I could point out on the map. Again, a trip to the pay window can afford such nice things as a quick jet trip to beautiful Hawaii.”
Randall pauses to soak in the sun, smiling before he continues.
“Well, Hologram, what an interesting situation we find ourselves in. A big man such as yourself is usually quite intimidating, and perhaps I would be more nervous about this encounter if you hadn’t already lost in your debut match. Some would call a man of your size and stature a monster, but I see you as nothing more than a loooooooser.”
He further accentuates this assessment by making an L with his fingers, raising his hand to his forehead for emphasis.
“And I’m gonna be real honest with ya, Holoweenie, I see no reason to be afraid of a big ol’ loser. You’re no Lord Colossus, my friend. Jack Fargo can beat you, and having studied the tape I’m highly confident I can do the same!”
To further prove his confidence in the matter, Randall takes yet another sip of his beverage…though, notably, something in his demeanor starts to give us an indication of where this bravery comes from.
“Ya know something, Sleepy Holo, I could sit here all day and go over the ways in which I’m gonna beat you and Rikkipoo, but I’m not gonna get riled up. No, sir! I paid for my flight and by golly I’m gonna enjoy the rest of this little vacay before I head back to Ohio and suffer whatever insanity comes from being in the Midwest.”
Sure enough, the signs are starting to make themselves more clear as an audible hiccup escapes from the Entertainer, who takes a much larger swig of his drink now. Randall opens his mouth to speak further, but noticeably nods off. His drink falls out of his hand and spills into the sand, and we are left with a snoring Schwartz as we fade to black.