BN: Bro, so like, do you think Harry Chest is a real life super hero?
A Cheeto slowly enters Bradlee’s mouth. He’s laying sprawled out on a couch. His gear is all over the place, while Bowie is getting himself ready.
BA: I mean… his chest is pretty hairy dude…
BN: You think he uses a hair enhancement product?
BA: Woah man, that’s like stuff the bad guys would say man…
BN: I know bro, I’m just down in the dumps…
BA: What’s wrong dude?
BN: You know… it’s nothin’ man…
BA: Bro, you can’t, like, lie to me.
BN: It’s just, you know. We came all the way to CLEVELAND, away from the sun and beaches in California. We left our van behind, to be the heroes for the little bro’s, man.
Another Cheeto slithers out of the bag and into Bradlee’s mouth.
BA: We totally are dude.
BN: Then why are we wrestling super heroes and dudes with cool robots? Like, have you ever seen Johnny 5? I’ve always wanted Johnny 5 to be my bro ya know? Now I gotta like, beat up discount Michael J. Fox. Then we gotta beat up the love child of Christopher Reeves and Tom Selleck… Like… bro…
Bradlee has gained some form of excitement jumping up onto the couch. He obviously spills the Cheeto’s across the floor. He jumps up smashing his head off of a Surf Express Bro surfboard mounted above the couch.
BA: Dude… who are you man? Why would you say that about these two totally bodacious bros?
BN: THEY AREN’T OUR BROS BOWIE! THEY ARE THE LAAAAAAAAAAW!
Bowie Abrams is taken aback, shocked and appalled by the mention of the law.
BA: You mean like the guys that used to harass us when we were kids?
Bradlee’s eyes have bugged out of his skull, he nods his head furiously.
BN: Yeah man, like remember when we used to try to skate in that parking lot and the cops kept coming over and kicking us out.
Bowie looks down sadly, the memories flooding back.
BA: I never got to grind on that sidewalk. I waxed that for like hours.
BN: That’s what I’m saying dude! Like, these guys are so rude to little bros.
Bradlee nods his head up and down.
BA: Bowie… do you think that makes that robot Robo-Cop…
BN: Bowie, we’ve talked about this like a hundred times. Evil Robo-Cop is The Terminator.
BA: Is Classic Wrestling our Sarah Conner?
Bradlee has just had his mind blown. He ruffles his hair so it all stands on end, only briefly. Our Bradleest of Bradlee’s has perfectly trained hair afterall.
BN: DUDE! WHAT IF BIFF TANNEN IS DISGUISED AS DASH DACKSON?
Bradley shakes his head back and forth. He looks almost distressed.
BA: Nooo… that can’t be true dude…
BA: No man, no.
BN: Dude, you know it’s true.
BA: That means…
Bradlee nods his head yes, still standing on the couch like an absolutely frazzled broseidon of the brocean.
BA: No man… no way…
BN: He could only be one thing…
Bowie sits down on the floor sadly. He almost pouts like a child.
BN: Bro. Harry Chest is ZOD!
BA: He can’t… he can’t be…
BN: HE MUST BE!
The sudden realization washes over the two bros at exactly the same time. The dudiest of dudes nod their head in synchronization for a moment. They briefly let their sunglasses slide down their noses and they make eye contact.
BN: Yeah Bowie…
BA: We have to save Classic Wrestling.
Bradlee nods his head in agreement. The two turn towards the camera and stare into it.
BN: For all the little punk skater bros out there who never get to grind the rail of rails.
BA: For all the little metal dudes who get double searched going into school.
BN: For the chain wallet that the school cop took from me in the 8th grade.
BA: For the survivors of Krytpon…
BN: For all the little hair metal bros from 1985 that don’t wanna see Biff Tannen be rich in 2021…
BA: For super hot milfy Sarah Connor in Terminator 2…
BN: That’s so true… but like Bowie for all of those things.
BA: WE ARE GOING TO CONQUER THE LAW! WE ARE GOING TO SAVE ALL THOSE PEOPLE! AND CLASSIC WRESTLING!
Bradlee smiles real big and dumb.
BN: Totally dude… totally… Can it be for milfy Sarah Connor first?
BA: Obviously bro.