It’s dusk out in the desert. Industrial lights set to a timer pop on to reveal the looming “DRIVE CAREFULLY – COME BACK SOON” sign along the highway outside of the Las Vegas city limits.
Walking along the side of the road, Carlo Amaretto holds in his hands a sign of his own. Much less illustrious, made out of a scrap of cardboard with words crudely scrawled over it.
The Evil Abra’s smile is wide and desperate as he holds the sign out to a quickly approaching car. It breezes by without slowing. The smile is replaced with a sneer.
Carlo: BAH… worthless plebeians. Remember, Gomez… make yourself SEEN! These muggles have ATROCIOUS eyesight!
Staggering unsteadily behind him, Gomez listlessly holds his thumb out. In his free hand, he’s traded up from bourbon to a fifth of straight tequila.
Gomez: Baahh, i’s too dark to see annythin, Cawrlo! Heyy, whurr we s’posed to SLEEP tonight?
Carlo: Confound it, you SOT! First we must secure our means of conveyance, and THEN we’ll deal with the matter of lodging!
Headlights in the distance. Carlo holds up the sign. Gomez nearly falls into the road getting his thumb out there.
The car speeds by without slowing. Carlo angrily kicks the dirt. Gomez hiccups.
Carlo: This is PREPOSTEROUS, Gomez! Run out of Vegas… AGAIN! US! We’re the AMAZING AMARETTOS! World’s greatest magicians and tag team wrestlers! How did illustrious individuals such as WE end up in this sorry state?!
Gomez: Maybe we shoulda treated hurr right, Carlo…
Carlo: Who, SUZIE?! And give her full partnership? BAH! She would have only stolen the spotlight from us in the end!
Gomez: But… whuddur we s’posed to DO? Wiffout Clashick, we ain’t NUTHIN’!
Carlo snags the Killer Cadabra by the lapel of his sleeveless tuxedo jacket.
Carlo: NO, Gomez! Classique is nothing… without US–their MAIN ATTRACTIONS–as their TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! THAT is why they are TRULY closing! They will soon come to realize this… after our tantalizing GRAND FINALE against those fools in the Foreign Legion!
Gomez: Butt Cawrlooo…
Just then, a beat up Olds suddenly pulls up to the side of the road ahead of them and honks twice. Carlo’s showman smile suddenly returns, and he tosses the sign aside.
Carlo: HA-HA! At last! See, Gomez? Just like our magic, everything is about TIMING! Now come on… and get rid of the booze!
Gomez nods sullenly, swapping the tequila with a bottle of musk that materializes from his top hat. He sprays himself down to cover the scent of alcohol while Carlo pulls him over to the ride.
The brothers shuffle into the backseat. Carlo offers a friendly smile to the stranger up front behind the wheel.
Carlo: Many thanks, fellow traveler! We had nearly lost hope!
Gomez: Yaah, buddy, yer a good Sumarian an’ all dat!
Carlo throws Gomez a sharp look, but the Olds pulls off and back onto the road.
The Driver: Not a problem, fellas. Been there many times myself…
The man behind the wheel doesn’t look back to see who he’s taken on as passengers. Instead, a pair of dark eyes studies them through the rear view mirror.
The Driver: What line of work you boys into?
Carlo beams proudly. Gomez blinks unevenly.
Carlo: MAGIC, good sir! Of the most ASTONISHING and ASTOUNDING variety! We are the AMAZING AMARETTOS, Carlo Gomez!
Gomez: An’ WRASSLERS too! We use’ta be CHAAMPS!! Buht… not annymoarr. Alla that hard wurk… POOF! Up in SMOKE!
Speaking of “plumes of smoke”, one appears up in the front seat as the driver lights something up. A cigarette? Maybe…
In the rearview mirror, his eyebrow arches.
The Driver: Wrestlers, huh? Well, ain’t this a small world…
The Amarettos now look unsettled. Outside, night is setting in. Ahead of them lies an open road, and they are being led into the unknown by an absolute stranger.
Carlo: …where exactly are we going?
The driver chuckles, low and raspy.
The Driver: Well, that’s the real question now, ain’t it?
The driver turns to face the brothers, revealing his heavily bearded face. He’s got the wide grin of a goat bastard.
The Driver: Where are ANY of us really goin’?
Eyes going back to focus on the road, the driver lets out another foreboding chuckle. Carlo and Gomez exchange a look of uncertainty, as they continue on toward an equally uncertain fate.