Voice: Master Dackson, it is time to awaken.
The scene opens and reveals a slender blonde man lying on a foil sheet covered surface with a robot peering over him.
Dash: H-dub, I told you buddy, just call me Dash.
Hello World: As you command Dash.
Dash: Not a command.
Dash chuckles but then looks around.
Dash: So, this is the past… I thought it would be… well… a little more modern.
Hello World: Yes sir, I am afraid these times are very primitive.
HW hands Dash a piece of paper.
Dash: What is this?
HW: It is the details on your current mission.
Dash: I can’t just use a hola-tab?
HW: Sir, they do not exist yet.
Dash: WHAT? Next you are going to tell me I can’t even get an Ultra-Spiah!
The robot’s silence immediately causes Dash to throw his hands into the air.
Dash: Alright… Well I suppose we need to make sacrifices.
HW: Indeed, we do sir.
Dash: What is our first mission?
Dash looks at the paper.
Dash: Feral Freddy Kilgore… Feral?
HW: Feral is defined as “existing in a natural state, as animals or plants; not domesticated or cultivated; wild”.
Dash: So… he isn’t house broken?
HW: I have no way of knowing that sir.
Dash: It would be a good idea to find out. I know this time is primitive, but I don’t know what types of diseases I could get if I start rolling around in Feral Fred’s flying feces. Think of the future ramifications that could have. That could be devastating and completely sidetrack our mission H-Dub!
HW: I will find out sir.
Dash: Ok, what else is there…
HW: He is six foot six inches.
Dash: Big. Good thing I have plenty of training against the virtua-vikes.
HW: Sir, you failed that course.
Dash: Yeah, but I failed a lot. So… training.
Dash looks but gets no response from HW.
Dash: What else do we have?
HW: There is a recording of his comments about you.
Dash: About me? Probably wants to know who wins the 2302 World Super Series Cup Bowl.
HW begins playing an audio clip of Serena Reyes’ interview with Freddy Kilgore. Dash listens intently to the entirety of Freddy’s interview and nods his head.
Dash: So… should I respond to him? How do I communicate with this…?
HW: Feral sir.
Dash: …right, this Feral Freddy? How do I do what he did about me? Holo-Projectorizer?
HW: Those won’t be invented for another 80 years and then reinvented in another 143 years sir.
Dash: Primitive.
HW: It would appear you are to make a promo like Mr. Kilgore did. The term is “Cutting” a promo.
Dash: So oddy-odd.
HW: I have been retrofitted with a video camera and will be able to broadcast relevant mission communications.
Dash: Woah, look out! Here comes H-Dub, the big Holly-apple-time-warner-exxon-coleco-google-pepsi-Wood director!
HW: Ready when you are sir.
Dash: Hold on, let me get my serious face on.
Dash slaps his face a few times and pulls his goggles down. He nods to HW and a red light begins blinking on the robot’s head.
Dash: Hello time friends. My name is Dash Dackson and I come to you from the future! Pause for oohs and ahhs here H-Dub.
HW: Still broadcasting sir.
Dash: Great. I have been sent back to this time in hopes to save mine. Classic Wrestling might seem like just a form of entertainment for you, however what happens here carries long lasting consequences that are still felt hundreds of years into the future. My goal is to win the championship and hope that will save the future. To do that I must first face Freddy Kilgore.
Dash raises his goggles and looks intently into the camera.
Dash: Fred, mind if I call you Fred? Oh wait… not a conversation. I will assume you said absolutely. Fred, the reasons for me being sent here are very specific and have been designated by the Time Scientists of 2321. This Sunday you will be the first step in me achieving my goal. Fear not though Feral Fred, I have read what the future holds for you and it is very nice. Something about some cheese invention…
HW: Sir, you are not to divulge any future information.
Dash: AH! Right, sorry. Cut that H-Dubs.
HW: Still broadcasting sir.
Dash: Ok. This Sunday the world will see that the future has arrived at Classic Wrestling!
The transmission ends as the scene fades to black.