Here I will present my arguments for and against the egg.
What mortal thing can be said to have come closer to perfection than the egg? See the egg and see the shape of divinity. Hold the egg, and hold beauty itself! Feel its weight in your hand: that is how much goodness weighs. Caress its surface with your fingertips, and you brush the cheek of an Angel. How many wicked and sorrowful wretches could have been saved if they had only witnessed one egg?! My heart breaks for the eggless as it would break for a bird with no wings, a lion with no mane, or a dog with no tail, or limbs, or head. God Bless THE EGG!!
Damnable egg! Cursed object! How I ache for the days of old, when eggs had not seated themselves upon our lives like fleas seat themselves upon a dog! No man can claim to have been bettered by an egg, but how many have fallen into sin and filth for one!? I ask YOU: What contribution has an egg made to your life? Pastries? Omelettes?! What worries visit you on long nights? Debt. Sickness. Death. I tell you: before we had the egg, we had none of these. Now we have the egg, and we are PLAGUED BY THEM. The salve to soothe our troubles is clear: SMASH THE EGG.
Now you know that I am good at making points.