Once a black man and a white man were on a plane together and the black guy turns to the white guy and goes:
“Hey I didn’t get any peanuts earlier. If i fall asleep before the flight attendant comes by again can you flag her down because I really like those peanuts. I wouldn’t want to miss them for the world, but I also really need to sleep. Sleep is crucial, for everybody.”
The white guy says “ok no problem.”
Sure enough the black guy falls asleep soon after. But instead of flagging down the flight attendant the white guy just puts his peanuts on the black guy’s tray table. The black guy wasn’t completely asleep though and he had his eyes open a little bit. As soon as he sees what the white guy does he says, “What the heck dude, you didn’t have to give me yours!”
The white guy laughs. “It’s ok I’m allergic to them. I have a saying – ‘if I eat peanuts, then I’ll BE nuts!’ haha enjoy them, they’re all yours.”
The black guy smiles. “Wow thanks man, sorry about the peanut allergy. I like that saying of yours though. It’s smart to have sayings like that. I have a nut allergy too – my saying is, ‘If I touch cashews, I’ll go a-choo!'”
“Holy shit I’m stealing that”, says the white guy.
“Haha okay but make sure you credit me”, says the black guy.
The white guy says “Why would I credit you if I’m stealing it?”
“Please?”, says the black guy.
“You expect me to say that at a party and then go ‘I can’t take credit for that, some black guy on a plane taught me it’? No freaking way. That’s absurd.”
“What’s absurd is how much of a bastard you are,” says the black guy.
“I gave you my peanuts you son of a bitch”, says the white guy.
Tears well up in the black guy’s eyes. “What you’re doing is illegal.”
Suddenly a flight attendant passes by.
“Excuse me, I’d like to move seats”, says the white guy. “I disagree with this man philosophically.”