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Classic Wrestling

Classic Wrestling

Mikey Unlikey's Fed of All Feds

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Preparing for a Flawless Victory

We open with a shot of a building front.  Above the door a neon sign reads:

Classic 80s Arcade!

Yes, the exclamation point is on the sign.  The camera continues forward, pushing open the door and entering the arcade.  There are arcade machines everywhere.  All along the walls and with a couple of rows running down the middle of the room, it was what heaven looked like to a teenage boy in 1985.  The camera fixes on a small crowd gathered around a machine on the end of a row and starts towards it.  As we get closer, we can hear what some of those gathered around are saying

Gathered Middle Aged Man #1:  He’s going to do it!

Gathered Middle Aged Man #2:  No way!

Gathered Middle Aged Man #3:  Nobody has ever played a perfect game of Galaga here!

Gathered Middle Aged Man #1:  Tom Runnings almost did back in ’15, but remember his wife came storming in here?

The man at the machine clears his throat and the men gathered pipe down as he jabs the joystick and smashes the buttons on the arcade cabinet.  The camera pans across the crowd, the pock marked, stubbly, hollow eyed faces of nearly a dozen men watches on in amazement as the mystery man at the cabinet nears perfection.

With dramatic flair, the man gives the joystick one final jab and hits the fire button one final time as the final boss explodes and the sounds of victory emanate from the game.  The crowd watches on as the man slowly puts his initials in for the high score

FCC

One of the men watching on is confused

Gathered Middle Aged Man #2:  Isn’t that a federal agency?

Gathered Middle Aged Man #5:  That’s the FCC.

The man, FCC apparently, at the cabinet turns to face the men gathered as well as the camera.  He points at his initials

FCC:  Flawless Freddy Chedda.

He scans the crowd, settling his eyes on the camera

Flawless Freddy Chedda:  What that was, was a flawless victory.  It’s kind of what I do.  See, I am the physical embodiment of perfection.  I am a man without flaw.  Video games are just one of the many things I can do flawlessly.  Later on, I’m going to put on an exhibition boxing match with this guy here…

A man walks onto the scene.  He bears a striking resemblance to a young Sylvester Stallone.  To further the resemblance, the man is wearing Rocky inspired boxing gear

Gathered Middle Aged Man #1:  Is that…

Flawless Freddy Chedda:  That’s Rocco.  Rocco Salboa.

Rocco exits the scene just as quickly and mysteriously as he’d arrived

Flawless Freddy Chedda:  Now…Harry Chest.  It’s nothing personal.  Really, it isn’t.  It’s just your bad luck that not only are you stepping into the ring with me, but you’re doing it when I have something to prove.  See, due to circumstances beyond my control, I was unable to participate in my Championship Tournament match…

The gathered incels give a sad groan

Flawless Freddy Chedda:  …so I have a big something to prove, Harry.  And to that end, I’m not only going to beat you clean, one, two, three, in the center of the ring…I’m going to make an example out of you.  I’m going to use every bit of my flawless physical ability, of my flawless mental acumen, of my flawless in ring strategizing…I have to embarrass you, Harry.

He smiles at the camera

Flawless Freddy Chedda:  Hell, in a different world we could maybe be friends.  A world where I had made the tournament and a world where you were a lot better and actually at my level instead of just reaching for it.

Several of the men gathered around give “Oooooooohs!” at that last one

Flawless Freddy Chedda:  The silver lining for you is this, Harry.  In time, the embarrassing loss I’m going to hand you will look less and less egregious.  As I go on to achieve greatness, you will be seen as simply the first man to experience said greatness.  So hang in there afterwards.  It’ll be rough, but it’ll get better.

Freddy gives the camera a big grin and moves onto the next arcade game

Flawless Freddy Chedda:  Who wants to see me play the perfect game of Frogger before me and Rocco have our exhibition fight?

A small cheer goes up from the small crowd as the camera fades to black…

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