It’s a friendly suburban neighborhood in Anywhere, USA. Green lawns, Dads with their mowers, kids playing ball in the front yard. Beautiful day, not a cloud in the sky. Little Johnny, a lad of about ten, skips happily along the road. In his hand is a red skateboard and he’s wearing a greenback. He smiles because he’s ten and life is great and we all remember that feeling.
“Hey! Johnny!”
Johnny’s head snaps around. Nearby, in a large yellow house, stands another kid: this one wearing a red shirt and jean shorts. He’s hanging halfway out of the open garage of his house.
Johnny walks up the driveway, smiling broadly.
“Hi Will!”
Will makes a “come in” motion while he looks around to make sure they’re not being watched.
Johnny walks into Will’s garage, squinting to adjust his eyes to the reduced light. Suddenly, Will reaches into his pocket and produces a small plastic baggie. Inside are some yellow capsules. Out of nowhere, some ominous-sounding background music begins to play.
Johnny squints at the bag, not understanding.
“What’s that?”
Will smiles a slow menacing smile. “These are drugs!”
Johnny looks unsure. “What? My mom said drugs are bad…”
Will laughs. “Oh? Your Mommy said? Drugs are cool, man. Don’t you want to be cool?”
Johnny takes a few steps back. He’s in quite the pickle now. “I… I don’t think…”
“Are you a… nerd??”
That stops Johnny in his tracks. He is not… or at least doesn’t want to be. The look on his face shows us he’s thinking about what to do here. Finally, Johnny reaches out his hands. “I’m no nerd. Let me get five drugs!”
Suddenly, out of nowhere…
Motley Crew: WIIIIIIIIIILD SIDE!
Freddy Kilgore appears in the frame of the driveway! He’s dressed in his wrestling gear but is wearing a baseball cap for some reason. Kilgore flexes and the kid’s mouths and eyes go wide.
“FREDDY KILGORE!” they both say at the same time.
Kilgore points to the bag. “I heard some kids were about to do some drugs. If there’s one thing Papa Wild Thang can’t stand, it’s the devil’s candy, baby. Tell me it isn’t true.”
Johnny and Will both hang their heads in shame. “We were just…”
Kilgore puts one arm around each of them. He also flexes and nearly crushes them. “Little dudes, it can be easy to do things we’re not supposed to do when we’re pretending to be cool. But take it from Freddy Kilgore… there’s nothing cool about drugs, baby. You both wanna grow up big and strong like the King of the Jungle, don’t you?”
They both nod. “We sure do!”
“Then don’t be a fool, baby. Work hard, keep your head on straight, and say “NO” to drugs my man.”
Kilgore holds out a hand and both kids high five him. Will turns and drops the baggie in a nearby trash can.
Kilgore turns and points directly into the camera. He flexes his shiny muscles and scowls.
“TAKE IT FROM PAPA WILD THANG: SAY NO TO DOPE!”
Freeze frame.
Motley Crew: WIIIIIIIIIILD SIDE!
THIS HAS BEEN A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT FROM D.A.R.E TO KEEP KIDS OFF DRUGS