Classic Wrestling Banner. Classic Wrestling interviewer extraordinaire Serena Reyes. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say we’re in line for a Classic Wrestling promo.
Serena: Ladies and gentleman, I am joined at this time by one of the sixteen men set to compete for the Real World’s Championship… “Feral” Freddy Kilgore!
Kilgore moves into frame. As always, dressed in full wrestling gear, full black-and-red face paint, and glistening under mounds of freshly applied baby oil. Although he takes position next to Serena, he constantly clenches and unclenches his fists while shifting his weight back and forth. The sweat glistens off his brow. His intensity can barely be contained.
Serena: Mr. Kilgore, all eyes are on you this coming Sunday. Any words for your opponent, Dash Dackson?
“Serena, baby… let me tell you what. Freddy Kilgore is a man of many talents. Underneath this chiseled frame, deep inside my bone marrow… is the speed of a cheetah. THE STRENGTH OF A GRIZZLY! The ferocity of a tiger, Serena. I have spent years meditating on top of the highest mountain tops… diving to the deepest depths of the oceans… walking the world’s HOTTEST volcanoes… and yet. There is one force of nature that even PAPA WILD THANG has yet to master.”
Kilgore looks off into the distance intensely. He holds up a single finger.
Even I, as transcendent as I may be, am still a slave to that cruel mistress. We are ALL weaklings in the face of Father Time, baby. Eventually EVERY MAN TAPS to the Grim Reaper. Now I’m told that my fellow gladiator, Dash Dackson, claims otherwise: he says that he is a man out of time. Now there is NO SHAME in admitting to you all that Freddy Kilgore stands slightly in awe of that power, baby. I may have ridden the back of a tornado, I may have faced down the charging Wildebeests of Craynthan Canyon…
…but I have never surfed the waves of time.”
Kilgore holds up a clenched fist. He looks directly into the camera and nods intently.
“So Dash Dackson… if you have indeed done what you say… you have earned Papa Wild Thang’s respect, baby.”
The calm nod morphs into a look of intensity. Kilgore begins to grow more animated with his hands.
“But I do have to question one thing, Dash Dackson. You had all of human history at your fingertips. You could have GONE ANYWHERE… YOU COULD HAVE DONE ANYTHING.
You could have stormed the beaches of Normandy!
You could have planted yourself directly in front of that iceberg and held back the Titanic.
Hell, you could have hopped into the Cretaceous Period and wrestled the mighty Tyrannosaurus Rex into submission.
And baby, any of those scenarios would have resulted in a victory for you. But Dash Dackson, you’ve made am mistake. You’ve chosen to come here. To now. TO STAND ACROSS THE RING FROM FREDDY KILGORE!”
Kilgore beats his chest with one fist.
“You’ve decided to land yourself in the ultimate no-win situation, baby. Cause this Sunday, Freddy Kilgore makes his Classic Wrestling debut… and the iceberg AIN’T GOT NOTHING ON ME, BABY! YOU’RE GONNA WISH YOU HAD GONE WITH THE TYRANNOSAURUS!”
Kilore is getting WORKED UP NOW.
“Cause let me tell ya what’s gonna happen! All my Wild Hearts in the arena… AND ALL MY WILD HEARTS AROUND THE WORLD… are going to rise up. They’re going to feel the Call of the Wild deep in their DNA… it’ll start in their hearts… it’s going to travel up their arms… out of their fingertips… up into the air… and all that energy is going to gather above the Classic Arena!”
Kilgore points up for a moment and then down.
“And that power… that energy… that spirit… that CALL OF MILLIONS OF WILD HEARTS… is going to come down and enter the body of Freddy Kilgore! AND I’M GONNA GO INTO THAT ZONE, BABY. THAT ZONE WHERE I FEEL NO PAIN. WHERE THE WILD HEART TAKES OVER. AND NOTHING YOU CAN DO… DASH DACKSON… IS GONNA STOP PAPA WILD THANG FROM TAKING HOME THE WIN FOR ALLLLLLLLL HIS WILD HEARTS!”
Kilgore turns to Serena.
“THIS SUNDAY, SERENA REYES… THE FERAL HUNT OFFICIALLY BEGINS! DASH DACKSON… YOU’RE GONNA FIND THAT NO AMOUNT OF TURNING BACK THE HANDS OF TIME IS A MATCH… FOR THE CALL. OF. THE. WILDDDDDD!!!!”
Kilgore cups his hands to his mouth, leans back, and lets loose a ferocious wolf-like hoooooooooowl as we fade out.