It’s another hot, sweaty afternoon at the bus station, where the air fills with clangs, bangs, and roaring engines, and the musk of old motor oil hangs unwantedly.
There are vehicles in almost every bay, with mechanics bustling back and forth between them. We focus on one in particular. Beneath its colossal frame lies an equally colossal man clad in heavy orange overalls entirely inappropriate for the sweltering temperature, though only his legs are visible as he works away below the bus.
DOUBLE DECKER: Just… one… more… twist…
The almost-cartoonish grind of a wrench being turned comes from beneath the bus. Double Decker’s voice perks up.
DOUBLE DECKER: There we go!
Your favourite transit-themed pro wrestler rolls out from beneath the vehicle on his board, taking a moment to catch his breath before sitting upright and looking down the camera.
DOUBLE DECKER: Hey classic wrestling fans, how you doing out there?! It’s your pal The Big Greyhound here and I am raring to go for Classic Wrestling episode 3!
His brow is a mess of motor oil and sticky sweat. Clearly, the bearded, mop-headed behemoth is struggling with the temperature, but he doesn’t let it show, smiling, as he does, like the happiest man alive.
DOUBLE DECKER: Last time out, I couldn’t get the job done – but that’s okay! Carlos, you’re one hell of a competitor. It was an honour to tie up with you, and I can’t wait to get back out there and put on a show for all my great fans out there, against King Kong Frank…
Decker puts the wrench he had been using to point down the camera back in the toolbox and grabs a dirty towel, using it to gently dab his brow before continuing.
DOUBLE DECKER: Now Frank, I’ll be honest, friend. I’m not sure what to make of you! You call yourself King Kong but frankly, I don’t even know if you’re a real monkey! Let me tell you though, Double Decker is ALL BUS, brother, and if you don’t believe me, you’d better watch out for that…
Like last time, Double D thrusts his hands out as if he were smashing a horn, and…
DOUBLE DECKER: HOOOOONNNNNNNNKKKKKK!
The big man’s Cheshire Cat grin only broadens as he returns to the camera, having just omitted a louder noise than any vehicle in the garage is capable of.
DOUBLE DECKER: This big ol’ bus might have run into a few engine problems at the side of the road last time out, but that’s why I’m putting in the work! As you can see, Carlos gave The Big Greyhound a few nuts and bolts to tighten, some dents to ding out, and a crankshaft to put back in place, so that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. Now, this baby’s more than roadworthy…
Decker slaps his chest. Hard.
DOUBLE DECKER: … and I’m fixed up, fuelled up, and ready to go!
His brow suddenly tightens. A scowl forms.
DOUBLE DECKER: And Frank, whether you’re a monkey or not, you’ve gotta pay your fare! You’ve got the demeanour of a ticket dodger, brother, but that won’t fly on these here Decker! You know what they say… you mess with the bus, you get the HORN!
The Big Greyhound goes to honk the invisible horn once more, but pulls out, smiling again.
DOUBLE DECKER: Just kidding, folks! We’ll save that for later! For now, Double Decker has got himself one heck of a tricky road to navigate! I bet you’ve never seen a vehicle like this drive along one of those bumpy country roads that Frank lives up – but that’s exactly what we’ve gotta do this week. No matter the obstacle, The Big Greyhound will keep moving forward! I don’t care if that road’s covered in mud, fallen trees, rocks… it doesn’t matter, because Double Decker never – and I mean NEVER – goes in reverse!
A point down the camera for extra emphasis. Double Decker rises to his full height, now, wiping whatever sweat remains away from him, before walking towards the bus’ open door and hopping onto the steps.
DOUBLE DECKER: See you soon, brothers and sisters! And Frank, you’d best have your ticket in order, because Double Decker has left the station!
Here it comes.
DOUBLE DECKER: HOOOOONNNNNNNNKKKKKK!
And out we fade.