The camera opens inside of the relatively new age cubicle of a social worker, complete with aromatherapy candles, a standing desk, and a yoga mat on the floor. Standing behind the desk is a woman sporting yoga pants and no makeup. Her naturally dirty blonde hair is pulled back in a ponytail, as to practically keep it out of her face as she pores over computer docs. A knock comes from the other end of the room. She looks at the camera, seemingly unaware of it’s presence the whole time and motions for it to come in.
Case Worker: Ah yes, my two o’clock. Come right in…Mister…wow, sloppy handwriting on my part. My B.
????: There’s no need to worry about learning names, that’s just not what we’re here to do.
Case Worker: Oh, well for your convenience I’m Sueanne Perribow; but please, call me Sue.
????: I’m in the market for a new profession, the old one need not apply. Pardon my lack of confession, but on resume’s it just wouldn’t fly.
Sue: Well, what kind of work are you looking for?
????: Maybe a switchboard operator, travel agent, or at the newspaper?
Sue: Those are all antiquated professions that went out years ago.
????: Well I don’t want any kind of office job where I’m lugging around a portmanteau. Maybe I’ll get a job at Blockbuster or Toys R Us?
Sue: Not unless you want to move up North.
????: That doesn’t seem like it’s worth the fuss. What about a factory job knocking tin or being a cashier?
Sue: I’m starting to get the impression that you’ve been off the job market for years. Factories are mostly automated, the same’s true of stores and banks.
????: Wow, this has been an eye opening experience.
????: No, I needed this rude awakening. So I guess…thanks.
Sue: Well what did you do before that you think’s so bad? Stripping? Embezzling?
????: Something similar to both but worse: professional wrestling.
Sue: I used to work in that field not all that long ago. I thought about starting a management company.
????: Oh? How did it go?
Sue: Well I worked for a TV station beforehand but one employee made me as bristly as cactus’s.
????: Sueanne Perribow…Sue…Anne…SanneP….Angie from Standards & Practices?!
Sue: Yeah…how did you know what I went by back then?
????:Ohoh, you know wrestlers…they gossip like hens.
Sue: Maybe you should tell me your name now so I know you weren’t convicted any crime…
????: Uh…gee, I gotta go! I’ve got a meeting. Look at the time!
The mysterious off-camera man quickly charges from his seat and heads for the door
Sue: HEY! DID WE JUST DO THIS WHOLE INTERVIEW IN RHYME!?! Sonova…I SAW YOUR FACE! Oh no, he was hot…GET BACK HERE!
The camera cuts around just in time to see the man once behind it slip his Undercover Lover mask back on and run out the door. Cut to a corridor in Classic Wrestling’s old TV station where The Undercover Lover now sits cross-legged with his back against the wall.
UL: I didn’t get it for a long time CW. I didn’t understand why you shunned me. You gave me sparse bookings that were barely enough work to fund me. It made zero sense because the ladies? they all adored me. But I now know it wasn’t a popularity contest: you simply couldn’t afford me. Frank, you’ve been kicking around that hunk of tin with your bare feet for too long. Under your reign CW’s collapsed, but if Lover got it sooner we’d be goin’ strong. For that PAC title, your reign has been a curse. And now? they can’t even afford to shill out for Lover’s winning purse. But I’ll win it anyway and be the last Premier American Champion on the books. I mean, if this win’s just going to be centerfold in history you might as well go with the man with looks.
Lover lets his head fall back against the wall as he stares up at the ceiling.
UL: Despite my suffering payday, I’ll definitely miss this place. It certainly had it’s heyday booking this hunk without a face. Hard to believe in a weeks time where I’m sitting will be a parking space, but that doesn’t mean it has to go out without some dignity and grace. Classic Wrestling, I’m going to be this melting sundae’s brilliant cherry. I’m going out on top as King Kong Frank’s huckleberry. Hit it with me one last time…OH HAVE MERCY!
Fade to black.