The camera opens at the other end of a long table inside of a boardroom. Sitting on the other end behind a black pair of shades is Angela from Standards & Practices looking unamused at the voice coming from the receiver of her cellphone.
Angie from S&P: I understand that you’re lonely and have ideas but…yes and hurt….How did you even get this number? I’m hanging-
Just as Angela’s about to hit the hang up button the boardroom doors fling open. In limps Undercover Lover decked out in full holiday regalia, complete with a novelty candy cane holding up him up, an ugly sweater, and an elf cap complete with attached ears and a mistletoe on the end of it’s green pointy top. Angie falls face first onto the desk, banging her head repeatedly in frustration.
UL: Oh have mercy! Call off the search party and alert the choppers, because the Undercover Lover’s located his favorite tree topper!
Angie from S&P: Why do they keep sending you to me?
UL: They say I’m a…it’s a big word so give me a sec…ah yes; a liability to the company that you shouldn’t neglect.
Angie from S&P: Let’s cut the crap; you’re stuck at the hotel bored with nothing-
UL: -and no one-
Angie from S&P: -left to do, so you’re looking to get on the show while nursing an injury? I barely sign off on you being on TV when you’re 100%, but somehow you’ve gone and made yourself a bigger liability than usual.
UL: If it’s festiveness you want then I’ve got it by the ounces! plus my last show was awhile ago and now my rent check bounces.
Angela lets out an agitated exhale and pulls herself off of the table and stares down the slightly more ridiculous looking than usual Undercover Lover.
Angie from S&P: Okay, whaddaya got?
UL:…huh?
Angie from S&P: You aren’t cleared to wrestle right now and you need to pay rent. How do you plan to earn a check?
UL: I-I have a few ideas….
Angie from S&P: Liiiike?
UL: Liiiike I dress up like Santa Claus and invite the mom’s in the audience to come sit on my-
Angie from S&P: Nope.
UL: Okay uh…we go caroling! I can walk around ringside and sing timeless hits like; “I Saw Mommy Kissing Lover Claus”, “Knockin’ Christmas Shoes”, “Santa Dad Has Gone Out of Town”, or my childhood favorite “All I Want For Christmas Is Your Two Front-“
Angie from S&P: NEXT!
UL: The Lover expected reticence on your part. He’s known your game since the word start. I caught your vibe the first day we met; you’re not against what the Lover says as long as your beak’s wet.
Angie from S&P: Excuse me?!
UL: How about we set up a massive Christmas tree beside the ramp and let the audience put ornaments of their favorite wrestlers up on the branches.
Angie from S&P: Go on…
UL: And here’s where you come in, here’s where you go; We put you at the top of the tree where you’ll glow! That’s right! You’ll be there! For all the world to see! Our little Angie, the Angel from S&P!
Angie from S&P: Well I liked the idea without my inclusion. It sounded very wholesome, very un-you. However, I wouldn’t mind taking the star…or should I say “angel” role as it were? Wait, this is supposed to be about you getting time and a paycheck.
UL: The Lover’s glad you asked about his lucrative presence, for beneath the hoop skirt angel shall be an Undercover Present! I’ll be there with the crowd looking up at your radiant glow! but the Lover will have the best view directly nestled below.
Angie’s body goes tense and starts to vibrate with anger. Her fist clenches, causing the plastic casing of her cellphone to crackle and give in her tightening hand. She takes another deep breath, whips off her shades, and stares directly into the confused Lover’s eyes.
Angie from S&P: You do understand what S&P stands for right?
UL:…Santa and Presents?
Angie from S&P: GET OUT!
UL: Yes’m!
Angela stares down the Undercover Lover as he hops to his feet and rushes out the door with his candy cane tucked under his arm. As soon as he disappears from sight, Angela lets her head drop back as another agitated exhale fills the room.
Angie from S&P: He’s lucky I gave up my stun gun for Hanukkah…
The camera abruptly cuts to black