Harry Chest dances around the most idyllic Christmas themed family room. A bushy tree stands covered in tinsel and lights. The fireplace crackles with joy. Holiday music spreads cheer throughout the room as Harry is sporting his usual wrestling gear save for one vital aspect.
A present box, complete with the most festive red bow is affixed to his pectoral area. He bounces around with splendid satisfaction as he murmurs the lyrics to Frosty. Tanner Spray finishes up whatever he was doing in the kitchen before joining his hero in song and dance.
Harry & Tanner: But he waved goodbye, saying, “DON’T YOU CRY I’LL BE BACK AGAIN SOME DAY!”
The song subsides as they plunk themselves down on the couch WITH GLEE.
Tanner: Gee willikers, Harry! Isn’t this the BEST time of year!?
Harry smiles back and nods.
Harry: I entirely agree!
Tanner’s eyes can’t help but examine the massive box on his mentor’s chest though.
Tanner: Harry? What’s in the box on your chest?
Harry looks down and reacts with astonishment as if he had no idea it was there in the first place!
Harry: Good graciousness, Tanner! Why, it appears there’s a Christmas present PASTED TO MY CHEST!?
Dying to know what’s in it, Tanner can’t help but get psyched up.
Tanner: What’s in it? I NEED TO KNOW!
The excitement is palpable as Harry darts off the couch and tiptoes around the tree. Hallucinations of crystalized snowflakes dance in front of his eyes as it’s hard not to get festive fever in the Chest household.
Harry: Wanna know?
Tanner nods politely. Harry allows his hands to grab the sides of the box.
Harry: You really wanna know?
Tanner’s nodding gains vigor.
Harry: How bad do you wanna know!? TELL ME!
Tanner: SO BAD! WHAT’S IN THE BOX!?
Tanner’s voice overtakes Harry’s in each conceivable facet. Blown away by his pupils’ exuberance, Harry’s eyes widen with joy as he reaches up and removes the lid from the box.
A large tuft of chest hair unfurls from within the dense confines of the box!
Harry: Why, IT’S A TUFT IN A BOX!
Tanner: A tuft in a box, huh?
Harry: Expecting something else?
The two heroes lock eyes. They know there’s just one last thing to do.
Harry: You know what this means, Tanner? Grab the glitter, ornaments, and CANDY CANES for all I care! We’ve got to decorate my tuft for the sake of the holiday season DEPENDS on it!
Moving faster than he ever has before, Tanner leaps into action. He knows where he left the box of decorations in the basement and he is only impeded by getting around a cat or two or else the world record for decoration retrieval would have easily fallen.
They spend the next few moments doctoring up Harry Chest’s signature tuft. The mood drastically changes from energetic and frantic, to calm and calculated as both men diligently focus on what they’re doing.
Harry: I heard through the grapevine there’s going to be a Christmas mystery extravaganza at the next Classic TV event, which usually I’m game for. However, I find this one particularly troubling.
All eyes still on hanging candy canes within knotted hair, Tanner replies.
Tanner: Oh yeah, and why’s that?
Harry: A mystery is unknown and that’s scary. It’s like a secret Santa gift giving activity but instead of gifts, it’s with wrestling matches and I don’t know how to feel about that because I am unable to properly prepare.
Tanner ties some hair around a candy cane.
Tanner: Well, who MIGHT we be up against?
Harry racks his brain in deep thought.
Harry: There’s lots to pick from. There’s Randall and Freddy and Shujin and Alex. There’s Huggin or Muggin, Lovett or Bigsby, heck even Carlos, Bobby or Scott to trot!
Concern breaks across Tanner’s face as his mentor is ill-prepared and quite possibly going to get punched in the face.
Tanner: Maybe we should just prepare for a few and hope for the best?
They finish up decorating Harry’s tuft. It’s a wondrous array of blinking lights and trinkets. Harry’s large chin flutters with his response.
Harry: I like the cut of your jib. That’s what makes us such a dynamic duo and you know what? We had no idea what was in this box but it ended up being a pleasant surprise. Maybe we can give the gift of victory to all the random citizens out there, regardless of who we face.