A picturesque field against a white wall rolls past through the heavily tinted windows of a limousine. Inside is Rikki Roxx, looking down at a crucifix often hanging around his neck but now clasped in his hands.
“You’ve come a long way, Rikki. Almost a whole year of sobriety and an album on the way, He would be so proud of you.”
Roxx looks up from his deep reflection at the balding man sitting across from him. Wearing black robes and a white collar, anyone with eyes could plainly see this is a man of faith who places his hand on Rikki’s knee.
I’ve heard you are being forced to face a man of God. I must advise you to consider your actions wisely my so…
Johnny Saint Nelson is a false idol, father. He is a man dressed in robes who sees himself as the judge of humanity. A heretic who has appointed himself God and that’s just not very bitchin’.
The Preacher is taken aback by Rikki’s words.
That’s why I’ve come here. I need guidance on how to handle such false prophets from Him. If He were here… He would know what to do.
Father Jameson gives Rikki a quick blessing as the vehicle comes to a stop. With a deep breath, the Architect of Air Guitar grabs a blood red Gibson off the seat next to him and pushes the door open, flooding the interior with bright light. Far off in the distance is an exquisite oil painting hanging on that white wall and in front is a large bright white sarcophagus. Roxx gives a knowing tap on Jameson’s shoulder and exits the limo to be bathed in light. With the devil red Gibson guitar on his shoulder, Rikki Roxx slowly approaches the saintly sarcophagus surrounded by beautiful flowers of every color. They were so beautiful that even in the dark they would shine like a rainbow.
The Mount Rushmore of Encore lays the red-horned Gibson atop the divine sarcophagus which reads on the front clearly:
THE MAN ON THE SILVER MOUNTAIN
Ronnie James Dio
Rikki Roxx places his hand against the lettering on the front and falls, almost as if he is forced to kneel in the presence of such power. His other hand closes into a fist, except for the index and the pinky, a fitting tribute to Him who lays before him.
Dear heavenly father, I’ve come to the site of your rest in need of guidance. For you see father, I am looked at by most of humanity as a Rock God… but I know deep down inside that I am imperfect. I’ve partied at your side in the past but like all the others, I’ve fallen short of your divinity in Rockdom. In just a few short days I am going against a man who views himself as the judge of humanity in the name of the Lord… but I know the Lord and I feel his presence here today. How does one out rock God?
On cue, a rolling cloud crosses the bright California sun leaving Rikki Roxx to look towards the sky for answers. As he does a voice speaks to him. Not out-loud… but within his very soul.
“Johnny Saint Nelson sees himself as the Holy Diver, Rikki, but we know it not to be true. Those who will do the final judging will be thine angels of hard rock hallelujah. You must ride the lightning inside of yourself, Thrashman, and use it to strike down this prophet of false.”
Suddenly Rikki Roxx rises to his feet as if he were just struck by lightning!
Heavy metal will NOT fall to JAYYY ESSSS ENNNN! No, sir-ee bob! I can feel it in my essence Johnboy, the AROCKALYPSE is coming! You can race for the morning… you can hide in the sun till you see the light, but all you’ll be able to do is pray that it’s…
Rikki’s thunderous falsetto rattles all the flowers around him. Then the clouds grow darker around the holy land before thunder answers him back in the distance.
You can run like hell false prophet, but it won’t be enough. The AROCKALYPSE is coming for YOU! At Classic Wrestling Episode Six, I will administer DIVINE PUNISHMENT and you’ll have no choice but to throw down your vestments and accept a new God! The Gods of Heavy Metal! Repent now heretic and pray they accept your forgiveness.