The camera opens once again on Gnash smashing his head against a wall backstage as Haul and a reporter look on. Haul stands with his arms crossed and his eyes fixed on the perplexed reporter. Haul rolls his eyes impatiently and slips his hand between his brother’s forehead and the wall and spins Gnash around.
Reporter: Is he okay?
Haul: He gets like this when he’s frustrated.
Reporter: Is that often?
Haul: Most of the time, but to avoid more self-harm or potential harm unto you I shall stand in and translate since my brother’s grasp of the Queen’s English is tenuous.
Reporter: Very well. Mr. Gnash-
Reporter: What are your feeling going into this match against Lunchbox Larry, the first man you officially met inside the ring in CW back on Episode 12 nearly 3 months ago?
Gnash: AGGRO! BLEEDIN’ ANKLE BITER AND ‘IS BLUDGER BESTIE MADE ME CHUCK A SICKLE FOR A FORTNITE AN’ I BEEN CROOK EVER SINCE!
Haul: He says he’s aggravated that the young Larry and his lazy friend Bobby Dean put him out of action for such a long time right after our debut. He’s just been bent out of shape about it ever since.
Reporter: Is that what that string of vowels was?
Gnash: BLOODY OATH, JOURNO! BUT THEN WE ROCKED UP AT THE BEGINNIN’ OF TWENTY-DEUCE AND I TOOK ME SPEWIN’ OVER NOT GETTIN’ ANY PREZZIES FOR CHRISSIE AFTER LOSIN’ A FAIR DINKUM’S PAYDAY TO THOSE BLEEDIN’ LARRIKINS AFTER THEY SANGA’D ME AND LEFT HAUL HERE GOBSMACK AND USED ME FUMIN’ TO CREATE SOME DEVO! BUT I AIN’T TRYNA BE SOOK O’ER YOUS GETTIN’ THE BEST OF US EVEN WITH ME MORALE IN THE DUNNY!
Haul: He says that you should trust my translation skills Mr. Reporter. We may have taken a loss, but we came back at the beginning of the year angry. We constructively took our aggression over not getting a Christmas payday because of those jokers flattening him like pita bread and punching me in the mouth and used it to motivate us to create some devastation in our first match back. He’s not trying to be overly dramatic about it though, even though his morale has been in the toilet since.
Reporter: Is that what you said?
Haul: That mean’s definitely.
Reporter: I gathered…
Gnash: OY GOOD ON YA BRUV! I GOT NO WUCKAS GOIN’ INTO THIS STONKER! ME FIRST FIST THROWN IN CLASSIC WRESSIE ENSURED LARRY-O WOULDN’T EAT ANOTHER BLEEDIN’ MEAL ‘TIL BREKKIE A WEEK O’ER! I RECKON T’WAS A KNUCKIE SANGA THAT STARTED THE BLOODY STONKER AND A KNUCKLE SANGA THAT KEPT MY BOGAN BRUV HAUL FROM BREAKING THE PIN! BUT NOW THAT THERE’S NO ROBBIE-WOBBY WEEBLE WOBBLE TO FALL ON GNASH AND MAKE VEGEMITE, WHAT’S THE LUNCH SHEILA GONNA DO?! I RECKON SHE’LL BLOODY LOSE!
Haul: He thanked me for translating and said he isn’t worried about fighting Lunchbox Larry one on one. After all, the first punch Gnash threw in this company put Larry on a week’s long fast. He finds the duality of a punch beginning and ending the match for himself poetic, noting that a cheap shot from Larry is also what kept me from breaking up the pin. That is a very astute observation brother. Careful, your inner Romantic is showing.
Haul: This week Larry’s out of luck though because Bobby Dean isn’t there to pick up the win for him. He deduces that means Larry’s doomed to fall. He also called him a lunch lady. He might be confused. It’s been awhile since my brother’s actually seen a woman.
Gnash: I ROOTED WITH A FLAT TIRE ONCE!
Haul: I’m not translating that.
Reporter: I wish you had to…
Gnash: PUT ON YER LIPPY, LUNCH LADY LARRY-O AND PUKKA UP REAL NOICE! THIS IS DATE NUMERO TWO-O BETWEEN ME AND YOU-O AND YA GOT TWO BLEEDIN’ FISTS TO SHIFT!
Haul: He says get dolled up real nice, Larry. Well…you probably understood the rest.
Reporter: Again, I really wish I didn’t. I’m calling the interview here. Thank you gentlemen for your time.
Gnash: HOOROO YA SODDIN’ JOURNO!
Gnash shoves the journalist away and turns to headbutt the wall once more before storming out, shoulder checking his smug brother in the process. The shook reporter adjusts his suit and stares at Haul in disbelief.
Haul: He says goodbye.
Reporter: I GATHERED!
Haul shrugs and turns to follows his brother as the camera fades out.