• Info
    • We Are Classic
    • Classic Rules
  • Roleplays
  • Events
    • All Events
    • Classic Wrestling TV
    • PPVs
  • Roster
    • Wrestlers
    • Tag Teams
    • Champions
    • Staff
  • Login
  • Discord
  • Skip to main content
Classic Wrestling

Classic Wrestling

Mikey Unlikey's Fed of All Feds

Menu

GAME OVER

“…I’m afraid that some times you’ll play lonely games too.
Games you can’t win ’cause you’ll play against you.”
~ Dr. Seuss


There’s no other way to put it, really. MECCA… is in ruins. 

Smashed glass litters the floor from the battered backboards of pinball machines reduced to their tiniest parts. Mechanical whirring echoes throughout the facility and rogue electrical currents spark from every which direction. It was the worst assault he’d ever experienced— including that pair of Banzais he took at Episode 21.

Kneeling down beside a fallen ‘Turtles In Time’ arcade cabinet, Metro picks up a shard of glass and looks into his opaque reflection. His eyes manifest a soul-searing rage right into the camera. 

When Classic opened its doors, I wasn’t sure who I was gonna be. When I rolled Frank up by his overalls? I thought I was gonna be the guy who did anythin’ to win, but all it took was a loss to Bruder to set my head straight when he beat me. To date, that STILL stands as my ONLY one-on-one loss here in Classic. Let that sink in, Shujin. Abe.

I’ll wait. 

Vito tosses the glass shard back into the mound of countless other shards someone had attempted to sweep up before he arrived at the scene.

See, that’s when I realized exactly who I wanted to be. I wanted to be a man fans everywhere looked up to when monsters roamed arenas and flossed their bloody fangs with the strands of fear from the horrified people watching in the audience. I transformed into that man when I avenged my elimination and became REAL. WORLD’s. CHAMPION. I stayed true to the idea of bein’ that man when I defended my title against that towerin’ psychopath, Lord Colossus.

I solidify my LEGACY, this time, as the conquering hero who vanquishes the cowardly halfwit, who thinks himself a devil, that did THIS…

Vito stands up from his kneeling position and spreads his arms out. Making sure the camera captures the wreckage of his beloved business.

… at CLASSICMANIA.

Vito’s eyes narrow as he walks through broken glass.

I refuse to give in to fear tactics, Shujin. I deny your cheap-as-aluminum attempts at psychological warfare. ‘Cause the moment I give in to them? That’s when my reign as Real World’s Champion comes to an end. 

Metro shakes his head in disgust at the gigantic mess that surrounds him.

I know YOU know that too, otherwise you wouldn’t have tried to break every rib in my body and destroy my business like the anti-American blubberin’ idiot you are. In itself, that’s the most revealin’ thing about you challengin’ me: monstrous though you appear, small and transparent you really are through these desperate tactics at bein’ recognized as the world the rest of us just live in.

You listenin’ you run-of-the-mill big man livin’ some fantasy career off smoke and mirrors?

Hope so.

Ain’t no coincidence you have a losin’ record walkin’ into this, montagna. Rest assured it has NOTHIN’ to do with your physical stature and EVERYTHIN’ to do with your lack of decency and humanity.

Vito looks over at one of the sparks of electricity coming from an outlet that burned from the attempted inferno set ablaze by Mr. ‘Mountain’.

When we meet in the center of that ring? You’re in for the ‘shock’ of your LIFE when I drop your meaningless existence here into the same bin of wasted opportunity all these passerbys have fallen into while sippin’ on their cup of coffee here in Classic. When I’m finished callin’ your 500-pound punk card, Shooter Landell gonna be sellin’ more shirts than you.  

While I stand with my soles pressed on your broken, bloodied face? I want you to taste the bitterness of failure from the bottoms of a boot you’ve been destined to lick since DAY ONE. I want you to understand why THIS hard workin’ blue-collar, Italian-American SON. OF. A. GUN. embodies what it means to be the Real World’s Champion!

So WELCOME, big boy.

To the METROpolis.

Yup. Even no-good bullies like YOU warrant the welcome wagon to MY city.

When you arrive? I want you to witness how great champions like yours truly rebuild what’s been lost and conquer their enemies.

Despite the personal rubble he visits, a smirk oozes out of the side of his mouth.

Game over, stunod…

…and there ain’t a token in the WORLD that’ll let you continue.  

Fade to red, white, blue… and GOLD!

Copyright © 2023 Classic Wrestling