We open at a busy, bustling Metro subway station in downtown LA, with superimposed text letting us know this is yet again “A RANDALL SCHWARTZ PRODUCTION” as the man of the hour himself walks down the steps from the upper floor with a big smile on his face. The man is dressed to the nines, presumably the result of his recent trip to the pay window…but we’ll let him talk about that.
“Greetings, Classic Wrestling fans! It’s your old pal Randall Schwartz here, the smartest man in professional wrestling and for good reason! I outwitted the man from the islands himself and got a nice payday at the expanse of Holo Make…but, and this is very important, life comes at you fast, ain’t that right Vito?”
As he hits the lower floor of the station, he motions to a train pulling in at just the right moment.
“Now, let me get this out of the way first. I know that calling yourself Metro does not make you the assumed tag partner of one Double Decker…but I’m here to talk about the fast track that you seem to have been on since your arrival in Classic Wrestling. Vito, I am a smart man because I pay attention…and I am fully aware of the big run you had in the tournament to crown the first REAL World’s Champion. Ya almost had it, Vito baby…so close, yet so far.”
Randall highlights this with a finger and a thumb, illustrating the presumed “closeness” before continuing.
“Now, to your credit Mr. Valentino, that was just a quick pitstop for your journey. You hopped right back on that train and you picked up a couple crucial victories…including one over the Champ himself when you pinned Alex Bruder in that tag team bout a few weeks back. You are so full of confidence that you challenged the man to a rematch, to see if you have what it takes to beat All Business and become the champ.”
Randall takes a moment to ponder this before giving a thumbs up and a bit of applause.
“Well done, Vito. You’ve gone and proved that a little thing like choking at the big show’s main event isn’t enough to slow you down…but, as all train rides are want to do, you’ve reached the end of your trip. Your final destination, where you must depart and watch as someone else journeys to the top of the food chain…little ol’ Randall Schwartz.”
With that statement, the doors to the train open and Randall grins before stepping on board. He turns his attention back to us, the grin still plastered on his face as he speaks once more.
“When the train pulls into the Classic studio this weekend, you can trust that The Entertainer will have an answer to your Metro Avenue Deathlock. Unfortunately for you, Mr. Valentino, all that time studying the Cobra Clutch to face Bruder cannot prepare you for the most dangerous maneuver in professional wrestling. Submission holds can be countered or broken by reaching the ropes, but when I roll you up like a rug, Alex Bruder will be the least of your worries. You’ll be far too busy dealing with the embarrassment of losing to the Schwartz Special to worry about what the Clutch will do to ya!”
Off in the distance we can hear the operator shouting instructions as the train prepares for departure.
“Ya hear that, Vito? That’s the sound of your opportunity coming to a screeching halt by my hand. After I beat you this weekend, it’ll be me who rides this train…and this train is bound for glory, buddy ol’ pal.”
With that, Randall hums the tune of that old folk song with a grin and a wave before the train door closes. The train slowly pulls away from the platform, picking up speed to indicate that our favorite Entertainer has begun a new journey as we fade to black.