Scott Hunter and Craig Massey, continued…
HUNTER: (swiping two times more and thrusting at Massey’s midsection, but missing) ” ‘ELLO!! MY NAME IS Scottrigo Huntoya!! YOU KEEL MY FAH-SER!! PREPARE…TO DIIIIIEEEEE!!”
MASSEY: “What are you doing?!?! I didn’t agree to this!!”
HUNTER: (smiling an empty, but almost giddy smile) “PRACTICE!!”
MASSEY: (running for his life) “GAHHHH!!!!”
Massey runs, ducking around behind rock formations, jumping up and over small boulders, all while barely avoiding Hunter’s sword. Hunter gives chase before finally cornering Massey against a rock embankment.
HUNTER: “Offer me money!”
HUNTER: “Offer me riches!!”
MASSEY: “What the hell are you talking about?!”
HUNTER: “Offer me everything I could ever ask for and more!!”
MASSEY: (about to piss himself) “I don’t even know what’s going on here!! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!”
HUNTER: (leaning in, intensely) “I want my fah-ser back, you son of a (bleep).”
Hunter thrusts the sword at Massey’s chest as he screams in terror…
..only to find that this whole time the sword was a rubber prop, which, while mostly harmless, just caused a hell of a bruise on Massey’s chest.
MASSEY: “AHHH!! (BLEEP), THAT HURT!!”
Hunter steps back, nodding his head satisfied.
HUNTER: “Yes, yes that’ll do quite nicely.”
MASSEY: “What was this… training for you???”
HUNTER: (leaning on the hilt of his sword happily) “Something like that.”
MASSEY: “So your plan is to stab him with a sword?”
HUNTER: “My father must be avenged.”
Despite this statement, Hunter is now speaking in his own speaking voice, making it even odder.
MASSEY: “I thought that was just part of the production… with the accent and everything…”
HUNTER: “Massey, what on Earth are you talking about?”
MASSEY: “His father did not kill your father.”
HUNTER: (Pointing his sword at Massey) “Are you calling me a liar???”
MASSEY: “Uhhhh…. No?”
HUNTER: “Good. Lovett may think I’ll be charmed by his handsome-man mustache, but nothing soothes the deep fire of revenge. Nothing can lessen it’s intense glow. I need only the harsh lessons of my childhood to provide for me the kindling to erupt that flame into a consuming, living force that will destroy him and propel me forward to victory!”
Hunter looks wistfully off into the distance. He waits, as if expecting something, then frowns.
The whippoorwill calls. Hunter’s wistful again.
HUNTER: “Here, Lovett will lose, as Capone did before him. I shall meet my destiny. Then it will be done.”
MASSEY: “Was that a haiku?”
HUNTER: “Do you think this is a joke? Do you think I’ve gone to all this trouble just to amuse you?”
MASSEY: “Well… what have you gone to all this trouble for? I mean, you’ve mostly been talking about Capone, but what of the next match? What of Gordy Lovett?
HUNTER: (shoulders slump, as if considering something new) “Lovett is an interesting case study. He has the pedigree, the attitude, the ability. He can tie knots in ropes. It would be an honor to dissect a man such as that and see what makes him tick.”
MASSEY: “I hope you mean that figuratively.”
Hunter simply stares at Massey for a few moments, then smiles.
HUNTER: “Of course.”
HUNTER: “I’ve heard people who have cast aspersions on the character of Lovett and I think that’s a crime, an out and out crime. Lovett, although appearing to be a man such as you might find rounding up dogies on a ranch, is a virile, physical, skilled fighting machine. I have absolutely no doubt that he will give me the fight of my life.”
MASSEY: “But have you prepared for him? I mean, this began as preparation for Tony Capone…”
Something clicks in Hunter’s expression, and he suddenly raises his sword and seems a little more menacing. Mojo Massey catches on and stiffens up, starting to slide sideways on the rock face to find an escape.
MASSEY: “Hold on a second… I didn’t mean now!”
HUNTER: (stalking Massey) “But you’re absolutely right! I must prepare for every eventuality…”
MASSEY: “But I’m not Capone OR Lovett!!!”
HUNTER: (ignoring Massey) “Plus… there’s something you should know!!”
HUNTER: (pausing, tossing the sword from his left to his right hand) “I am not left-handed!!!”
MASSEY: (Hunter continues his approach and Massey hurriedly moves past) “AHHH!!”
Mojo bursts into a full sprint.
HUNTER: (giving chase and back in his Spanish accent) “You cannot escape-a me!! I will have-a my REVENGE!!!”
Hunter chases Massey off-screen as we…