Okay Dash, you asked for it. I may not like it but you’re going to get what’s coming to you.
I’m sitting here in my DeLorean, taking in the sunset at makeout point and I’m eating french fries while reminiscing. Eating french fries alone, that is. I’m fondly looking back with nostalgia at our brief but meaningful friendship, Dash. Did you know that french fries always taste best shared, Dash?
I even soaked them generously in the customer preferred brand of distilled white vinegar. The salt dances around my taste buds like pirouetting circus performers, yet you’re not here to experience this moment with me.
How dare you dip on me. How dare you dip on the Body of Law. We were just getting started. I wanted to build something truly special between us. We could have been eating delicious french fries together RIGHT NOW. Instead, I’m sitting in the driver’s seat, staring deadpan out the windshield, wondering what you’re doing. Wondering who you’re with, while I’m all alone with my thoughts. I can even hear the crickets in the bush outside the car door and they’re having more fun than me.
Maybe I am the jilted ex-teammate who gets hung up on feelings but I wear my heart and emotions on my sleeve, dammit and I will not apologize for being me! It’s your fault anyways. What, with your stunning good looks and nice smelling hair. It’s hard to blame a guy when he just can’t stop the bromance.
Don’t get me wrong, Tanner Spray is cool and all but he has little to no in ring skill. We were going to change the world. We were going to dole out JUSTICE! Instead, I’m relegated to brokenheartedness no greater than a simple goon would experience.
A glimmer in the coming night sky. I see it. The gleam of the moon promises light within darkness. Maybe that’s something I should take solace in.
I hear howling now. The howling of hungry wolves over the dunes and in distant hills. Wolves travel in packs you know. They’re rarely solitary beasts. Loyal to the end. Unlike you.
I do see a few cars down the hill. It’s families enjoying a night out of the house. Look at those junior random citizens playing tag. So rambunctious. THEY’RE PLAYING TAG, DASH! That is our thing. Was our thing.
Soon, those very same junior random citizens will be frolicking about with their parental units, soliciting others for candy while wearing mighty outfits. We could have been the inspiration for those juniors to dress up as Dash Dackson, Hello World, Tanner Spray or dare I say HARRY CHEST and go creating unforgettable late October memories.
Instead, I’m forced to look at this flyer in my grease soaked hands.
Grudge match. Harry Chest versus Dash Dackson. Funny it’s called that. Funny it’s called a grudge match yet I don’t have any ill will towards you. It’s you that spun off the rails and became rogue. It was you all along who never bought into fighting for justice. So make no mistake, I will put you down come Halloween. I will enforce justice!
I can feel my eyes wandering around the interior of my vehicle. A DeLorean is ultra symbolic for this moment. All I need is a flux capacitor and 1.21 jigawatts of fuel to hit 88 miles per hour so I can dAsH bAcK tO tHe fUtUrE.
I’ll have you being like Doc Brown screaming, “GREAT SCOTT!” as I decisively separate you from the salvia in your mouth with my fist.
I’ll kick your ass in the past, present and future. It doesn’t matter to me because this Sunday I’ll give you a beating that covers all sides.
That’s all I’ve got to go on. I’ll just clean up here, exit through the gull-wing doors and deposit my fry tray in the waste bin which also happens to be where anyone can find your attitude.
Night is upon us. It’s inevitable. However, so too is morning. It’s just about perspective. So I’m going to go home and rest well and train hard because my punch needs to pack some serious power if I want to back these words up.
See you Sunday. Bring a pillowcase, not for candy but for your teeth. You’ll need it.
Onwards and upwards, Dash.