The camera opens backstage where we find Gnash sitting and rocking on the floor while staring up at a monitor as the words “How To Dazzle Your Friends…WITH MAGIC!” disappear in a puff of smoke. Haul looks on from beneath his hood with a reluctant scowl on his face.
Haul: I’m not sure what good this will do you. I read the back of the sleeve. All they’re going to show you is the linking rings and the detachable thumb trick, both of which I’ve already revealed to you.
Gnash: DON’T GIMME NO BLOODY BUGGERED ARGUMENT! I’VE SEEN’EM DISAPPEAR BEFORE ME OWN BLEEDIN’ BLINKERS! I’M DEADSET FIGURIN’ OUT THEIR WIZARD’S SPELLS SO RACK OFF!
Haul begins to lift a finger and correct his brother when the beautiful assistant walks onto the screen. Haul’s chest raises with a silent and knowing chuckle. Looking to his now miles away and drooling brother on the floor, he lets out an impressed whistle that snaps Gnash out of his trance-like state and back into his existential state of annoyance.
Gnash: WHAT’RE YE BLEEDIN’ WHOOPIN’ FOR NOW YA TOOTIN’ GALAH?
Haul: Oh nothing…I was just showing my admiration for the real magic maker on the screen.
Gnash looks up at his brother, then back at the screen. He smacks the top of his head a few times, as if trying to knock some intelligence loose, before shooting out a grubby finger at the screen.
Gnash: THE SHEILA?!
Haul: How perceptive of you.
Gnash: SHE’S JUST THERE TO MODEL SPARKLY BATHERS! QUIT ACTIN’ UP YOURSELF YA HOON!
Haul: You’re not entirely wrong, but you’re also only thinking on a flat plain. Get your mind out of the bush and see past the world’s horizon. Consider her presence in a more three dimensional way of perceiving.
Gnash: YA TALKIN’ DUNG AGAIN! SPEAK PLAIN QUEENS OR RACK OFF!
Haul: She’s the one pulling the strings. She’s the middle man. She distracts, she conceals, she embodies the trick. She’s the biggest moving piece of the illusion. She poses as the subject, the affable victim of the magician, but she’s the one pulling her legs up when they put her in the box and saw it in twain. She’s the one who sneaks out the backdoor while the magician’s turning a locker into a pin cushion with swords. She levitates. She teleports. She is the strength that hides their weakness.
Gnash slowly rises, making eye contact with his brother momentarily before averting his leery gaze submissively.
Gnash: YA MAY BE ONTO SOMETHIN’ MATE!
Haul: Do you know what magicians call a weakness in their act?
Gnash: I WOULDA IF YA LET ME GET BLEEDIN’ FURTHER IN THE VIDEO!
Haul: It’s called a flash. Flashes can be debilitating to a magician’s entire setup if they’re revealing enough. One false move and faster than you can say presto the truth reveals you as a fraud.
Gnash: WELL HA-BLEEDIN’-ROO HAUL! QUIT SPEAKIN’ LIKE A BOGAN AND GET TO THE POINT!
Haul: I’ve seen the flashes in the Amazing Amaretto’s game. They’re growing in numbers with each successful defense. They’re hurt, they’re desperate, they’re out of new tricks, and they’re leaning on a malcontent assistant to keep the act together. They’re all stuffed, Gnash.
Gnash: TWO UP AS CHAMPIONS AND THEY’RE PLAYIN’ THE GREATEST HITS!
Haul: I wont dismiss them as champions. They’re winners. They’ve done it twice, but having to win it twice proves they’re not survivors. Loaded decks and flash paper would only get them so far in the outback.
Gnash: THEY’D GO TAILS UP ON WALKABOUT!
Haul: The only adhesive bonding them to those titles is torn between the material and the faux-ethereal. It’s hard to make others believers when the head of your congregation doesn’t.
Gnash: ESPECIALLY WHEN SHE THINKS SHE’D BE APPLES GYRATING FOR BOGANS INSTEAD OF HANGIN’ WITH TWO DAGS WIF NOT A SLEEVE BETWEEN’EM!
Haul: I’ve found the flash in your game, Amarettos. You hid it well for so long, but I’m here to expose it to all. The flash isn’t fatigue, a cantankerous barmaid, or an unwillingness to work: The flash is your second title reign existing in the first place. We’re looking to correct it and get our lovely chrome at last.
Gnash: WE WANT KROOVY!
Gnash: WE WANT CACTUS!
Gnash: AND WE WANT DEVO!
Gnash: BLOODY OATH!
Gnash lunges forward and headbutts the camera square end the lens, sending the viewers at home into a void of darkness.