Vito “Metro” Valentino sits in a bathtub as he flips through the pages of a book titled “How To Remove Curses and Other Black Magic Spells”. There’s incense burning in every corner of the bathroom, and a chopped-up, leafy-green substance floats in the water obstructing ‘things’ that have no business being seen on a pro-wrestling telecast. With the Real World’s Championship snapped together in a circle on the towel rack beside him, Vito stops flipping through the pages of his book when he comes across the one thing he’s been looking for.
Let’s see. Soaking in a bathtub with some magic herbs? Check.
Incense? Check.
Hey… where’d that amulet go?!
Metro pauses and looks around the room, scanning each corner. Vito quickly realizes the crimson red amulet he purchased at ‘Ray’s Occult’ back in Manhattan is sitting right next to him on the edge of the tub. Sighing with relief, he grabs the amulet and places it gently around his neck. Flipping through a few more pages, speed-reading like a Brooklyn Bookworm, he continues.
Ooookay. Amulet? Check. Hmmm. What else do I need?
There’s some indecipherable mutterings.
…what’s this? Laughter?! “Black magic takes its powers from negative energy. Use the power of laughter to help ward off the curse.”.
Vito looks up into the air and awkwardly begins laughing like The Count from Sesame Street.
Hahaha!
Hahahahaha!!
Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!
Ugh.
That’s it.
He stops laughing and shakes his head. Closing the book shut, he sighs directly toward the camera. Realizing a few of the ‘magic herbs’ were degrouping from his netherberries region, he splashes some together again.
Listen up, BUB. I’m sick of this charade.
I’m sick of your silent hatred.
I’m sick of all the subterfuge and bait-n-switch crapola you keep pullin’ on everyone ‘round here.
You hear me you rotten, soul-suckin’, no-good piece of trash?!
Vito leans in, dripping over the edge of the tub.
You’ve been toyin’ with people’s emotions since you first arrived here on the scene in Classic Wrestlin’ and I’m sick to death of it. Frankly, we’re all sick of it! So right here and now, I’m doin’ what nobody else has had the brass tokens to do and addressin’ you head on, right to your vacant, expressionless face!
That’s right, Champion’s Curse. I’m talkin’ to YOU!
Vito shakes his fist at the camera, clearly agitated, but having fun with it all the same.
They all deserved better! Freddie Kilgore, BDSM, Foreign Legion… and yes, even Alex Bruder. Though I would be lyin’ if I said I wasn’t glad that one worked out in my favor.
Vito shrugs and stands up — FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HE’S N- oh wait, he has on a pair of swim trunks. Crisis averted.
We all know the reason you’ve let Shujin Yama alone is because he’s the one who brought you in, so stop with the ‘I didn’t do it’ look on your dumb little face. ‘Cause you’re not foolin’ anyone.
Now, as much as I like Bradlee Nelson and feel that, one day, he will become the Real World’s Champion? I can’t let that happen as long as I’m representin’ this place, and certainly not ‘cause of YOU, Curse!
Fact is, I’mma walk to that ring on Sunday and beat you… by beatin’ Bradlee. It’s goin’ to be a great match between two friends, without your interference, and the better wrestler in that ring, on that night, will be the one who has his hand raised. Not because of some curse, black magic, or any outside forces.
For the first time ever? The reignin’ and defendin’ Real World’s Champion is walkin’ in with the belt… and he’s walkin’ outta there with it.
Drying himself off with one of the towels on the nearby rack, Vito grabs the Real World’s Championship and slings it over his bare, wet shoulder.
Bradlee is great. That’s not me patronizin’ him, either. I’m bein’ 100% honest when I say his future is bright and vast here.
But if I’m bein’ honest? There’s a Metro Avenue Deathlock with Bradlee’s name on it that’s gonna ensure I’m called ‘Cursebreaker’ when all is said and done.
So welcome to the METROpolis, Curse. Don’t get comfortable, though. ‘Cause I’mma make sure Bradlee drags your BROken carcass out after I help him up from the mat.
Sorry, Bradster… but winnin’ against you ain’t nothin’ another bro-hug can’t fix.
We gradually fade out to the Real World’s Championship, focusing in on ‘Vito’ from the nameplate.