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Mikey Unlikey's Fed of All Feds

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Body of Law

All is calm around the Spray estate. Eclectic gardens are accented by songbirds flapping around. The many water fountain fixtures majestically shoot liquid sky high. Each blade of grass is accounted for and of course, the massive mansion stands in historically impressive fashion. The large walkout concrete deck invites its occupants, Tanner Spray and the one and only Harry Chest to visually take in the landscape, as the sun begins to set on yet another day.

Tanner Spray: What are you thinking about, faithful leader? Besides a good spray tan, of course.

A light breeze causes Harry’s chest hair to sway in the wind as he stoically stares outwards.

Harry Chest: Tanner, you and I both know there’s many evil doers out there that need silencing. However, it appears to be a much bigger task than you or I can take on! We need more allies and fast, Tanner. Therefore, I was doing some thinking and it’s time we initiate the team squad protocol.

Tanner overreacts with a huge gasp and mouth covering.

Tanner Spray: Gee golly gosh, Harry! You don’t mean… you can’t be referring to… can you?

Chest nods confidently.

Harry Chest: That’s right, underling!

He points to the sky defiantly.

Harry Chest: It’s time to create a group of equally skilled heroes! A league of justice fighters unlike anything seen before! Dare I say, it is time to assemble those who avenge! IT IS TIME TO TEAM UP AND TAKE ON ALL COMERS!

Tanner marks out at the exuberance his leader displays.

Tanner Spray: YES! But what will we be called? All the good names have been trademarked already!

Harry smiles.

Harry Chest: We’re the Body of Law and it’s time to get recruiting! I’m its chest and your its decadent spray tan so we look good while busting the bad guys! Now we just need to find some FISTS!

As Harry finishes his outlandish declaration, a motorized mechanoid rolls out from around the corner. It’s orange finish glows in the sunlight as it catches the attention of Harry.

Harry Chest: What do we have here? My Wall-E eyes can’t believe it! I didn’t order myself a Sico unless you did, Tanner, but my birthday isn’t for a couple of months! Robot! Identify yourself promptly or prepare to get vanquished by the Chest of Law!

It’s none other than Dash Dackson’s robot manager, Hello World. It computes a few AOL dialup sounds before speaking to Harry.

Hello World: Hello Harry. Hello Tanner. My name is Hello World.

Harry Chest: Hello World! Jumping chocolate grasshoppers! A talking robot. Now I’ve seen it all! Have you come alone, young chap?

Taken aback, Chest’s gaze begins to scan the surrounding area for any potential incoming bogeys.

Hello World: I have not. I have come with a message. You will not walk through this next adventure alone. Look up now.

Hello World’s overly cybernetic, monotone voice is free from emotion as it addresses Tanner and Harry.

Tanner Spray: LOOK! UP IN THE SKY!

A shadowy figure looms perched on one of the many rooftop gargoyles. Harry can tell the figure is staring down at him. He readies himself for an encounter but before he knows it, the figure is gone. Vanished into thin air. A voice echoes from behind Chest’s oversized scapulas.

???: While I can’t guarantee you’ll get fists, I am ready to DASH into action!

Chills run down Harry’s spine in anticipation. His eyebrows reach higher than the moon as he turns and sees none other than Dash Dackson standing there in the flesh. Dackson’s futuristic pose next to Hello World completes the set piece entrance. Tanner can’t believe it.

Tanner Spray: Holy WD-40! IT’S DASH DACKSON! HE HEARD OUR CALL AND HE’S HERE TO ANSWER! Do I still need to order the ‘body signal’ then?

Dash and Harry stare each other down.

Hello World: Allow me to cut the tension. You two are slated to team up and face off against Surf Express Bro at the next Classic Wrestling event.

Harry relaxes his posture.

Harry Chest: Is that right, Hello World? Hmmm. Hmmmmm. Hmmmmmmmmmm!

The sun’s glare off Dash’s shades make him look cool AF, which naturally makes Harry full of envy and intrigue.

Harry Chest: Is that so? Then I guess it appears we’ve formed a team. The Body of Law will be triumphant in this epic display of strength and prowess!

Harry extends his hand towards Dash as the sun disappears from sight.

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