For a second it seemed out of left field, but Vito Valentino thought about it at length.
Bobby Dean is a force to be reckoned with. Ever since he debuted in Classic Wrestling, he’s been on a hot streak. Defeating competitors one after another on just about every show he’s participated in. He’s even captured the Tag Team Championships along the way with a solid sideshow act.
After seeing Bobby’s 7-2 record, Vito needed some research, post-haste, as to why he isn’t 0-9. Despite his shoddy work ethic, clearly there’s a reason for this physics defying anomaly.
One thing Vito does know is that this is the 200th day of proving why he is the Real World’s Champion.
Metro quickly prepares for his morning jog by tossing on a pair of black sweats and a sleeveless hoodie with a nifty Sgt. Justice logo on the back. Cue “Eye of the Tiger”, baby!
Cracking open an entire carton of eggs into a blender cup, he chugs the disturbing amount of protein down with ease. Real egg bandit, this one! Wiping his mouth, he lets out a moistened burp that would even make Bobby Dean proud.
Stretching for a bit, Vito motions for the camera to start following him. Bolting out of his hotel room, the cameraman takes his handheld and follows Metro out for his daily morning jog. He holds the door open for our cameraman before taking off in a brisk jog down all… sixteen floors.
Several minutes and a wave of our cameraman’s nausea later, they both make their way out of the hotel room and onto the sidewalk.
Don’t let Bobby Dean fool you.
Vito picks up speed, causing the cameraman to groan in discomfort.
The man’s an affable and likable guy, sure, but there’s a reason why he shouldn’t be underestimated. If a guy can find a way to beat the top competition in Classic Wrestling? Clearly there’s a reason why he’s getting a shot at my Real World’s Championship.
The reason?
It isn’t hard to see, actually.
Bobby Dean… is the greatest accident Classic Wrestlin’ has ever seen.
Vito turns to face the camera and jogs in place for a moment.
No athletic ambition? ✔
No inclination to better himself? ✔
No sense of honor, valor, OR shame? ✔ ✔ ✔
Yet the man continues to win. It’s as astonishing as his glucose levels, honestly.
Now whether all of this is intentional, a defense mechanism for a borderline personality disorder, or a mindless game? Well, the jury’s out on that. Thing is, I’ve steeled my mind, body, and soul regardless of what everyone’s favorite stronzo pigro wants to throw at me. Includin’ that devastatin’… marone… Earthquake Splash of his.
Vito makes a ‘Yeesh!’ face at the thought of Bobby sitting on his chest.
What I do know is that the Real World’s Championship deserves BETTER than to go to someone who’s not confident in their own abilities. This title deserves BETTER than to go to someone who pulls mud in their baby blues every time they step foot beyond the curtain when faced with a challenge. This gold I wear proudly around my waist deserves BETTER than to snap around the wai- errr… sling over the shoulder of someone who goes into cardiac arrhythmia at the mere mention of facin’ someone with raw given talent.
The camera points downward as the man holding it is audibly heard gasping for air. An arm reaches across the lens for a moment and lifts the camera back up straight. A quiet “Sorry!” can be heard from behind the camera.
Classic deserves to be represented by someone who demands 110% out of everyone across from him in that ring.
That ain’t you, paisano. Not in a million calories years.
Vito’s eyes narrow as his determination is evident in his confident demeanor.
So you go ‘head and roll on by with your childish gross-out humor and a glutton for food. ‘Cause I’m just gonna defend my championship through undeniable force and a glutton for gold.
On the next episode of Classic TV? You’re in for a rude awakening, Bobby… ‘cause there’s a Metro Avenue Deathlock waitin’ to snap all 369.5 pounds of you into reality.
A reality where I’m the Real World’s Champion and you’re my punchin’ bag, bleedin’ your uncontrolled Type IV Diabetes all over my ring.
Welcome to-
Vito wags a finger.
-actually? I’m not wastin’ THAT line on a stunod like YOU.
Turning back around, Vito rushes full speed ahead, leaving the cameraman in the dust!