We open to a tattered, but still-functional gym with the gargantuan form of a loincloth-clad beast, standing on one side of a practice ring opposite a wrestling coach. The coach tries to get Joe to focus and snaps his fingers.
COACH: Okay, Joe, Joe, Joe! Running the ropes, running the ropes! Let’s go! Let’s go!
Joe grunts and slowly bounces back and forth from one side of the ring to the other, the ring barely able to hold together from each impact. Just outside the ring, a young woman in a Harvard hoodie and dress slacks, takes notes aloud into her recorder as he watches Joe’s progress.
DR. SELAH GRAVES: I am Dr. Selah Graves and this is my very first journal entry as we begin this journey into the world of Classic Wrestling. I, a world-renowned archaeologist with three PhD’s… and now a wrestling manager’s license… have been tasked with guiding our subject, Joe Stone, through this new world. It is my job to help him acclimate to modern-day society. Learning our language, learning our ways, learning everything there is to know on how to survive in this world…
The monster inside the practice ring is following the coach, lazily running.
GRAVES: …as well as to guide his career in Classic. Ever since we freed him from his prison of ice six months ago, I have been amazed. We are still working on his communication skills, but he is showing improvement. He responds by name and shows great dexterity for a man of his size and stature; his athletic prowess is without question. It’s… other circumstances that weigh heavily.
COACH: Joe! No! Leave the padding alone! No, get that out of your mouth! No!
Joe bites clean through the turnbuckle padding with his teeth, sending the padding every which way in the corner! The Coach tries to pull him away, but fails when Joe tosses him aside with a biel throw!
GRAVES: In addition to his strange habit of not leaving the turnbuckles alone at times… events outside the ring prove most difficult. Our previous funding has run dry and attempts to secure new sponsors have been met with derision from the scientific community. These pursuits to guide a professional wrestler from the prehistoric era to succeed today are considered too obscure by my peers. I believe the word “niche” was used on one occasion. But I will not let this deter me. We must now procure funds the best way we can with Stone’s natural gifts… winning matches! It is said the winners can obtain some sort of cash prize; held in a purse, as is my understanding.
Stone finally leaves the turnbuckle alone as Coach tries to dust himself off after being hurled across the ring. He hobbles towards Joe and pulls him to the corner. Dr. Graves turns to the table beside her to peer down at a dossier with the profile of his opponent…
GRAVES: Shooter Landell. Known as a “journeyman” in the business – one who applies their trade across many locales – he is above-average height and weight for wrestling with a background in grappling and martial arts we must prepare for. I am sad for the fact that for us to continue funding our project, we must take money from others to fuel these pursuits… but from what I have gathered in our research into the opposition, Mister Landell will have no such scruples doing anything possible to win, so we must be ready for anything. We can’t rely on Joe’s size alone…
COACH: Joe! Joe! No! Come on!
Now in another corner, Stone takes apart another turnbuckle and stuffs his mouth once again with the delicious padded innards. The coach tries to pull Joe away.
GRAVES: The cave walls we found him in depicted some sort of prowess in amateur wrestling. Simple in its savagery. If we can tap into that, he may stand a chance. Joe…
Stone suddenly clinches him by the waist and dumps him on the canvas then circles around to lock him up in what appears to be a Gator Roll.
COACH: AHHH! AGGGHH! STOP!
Dr. Graves snaps a finger.
GRAVES: EUREKA! COACH, WE MAY JUST HAVE A CHANCE, YET!
But Coach gets SMACKED with a clubbing forearm to the head before Stone resumes his snackery as the coach is now unconscious.
GRAVES: …oh, dear.