The familiar sound echoes round the Classic Arena, before the Japanese National Anthem begins to blare over the sound system. Boos pepper in from the stands as the Oni of Oblivion, Shujin Yama, steps out onto the stage. Adorned as he typically is in a white, silk robe lined with blood red trimmings and dotted with sparkling stones, with the Premier American Championship perched on one shoulder, the sumo holds his head up high as he marches down towards the ring. Behind him, Sensei Abe Lincoln swings the Japanese flag, further riling up the Classic fans.
Making their way to the ring, Lincoln moves in front of his champion, and sits on the middle rope to lower it down, allowing space for Yama’s wide frame while still holding the Japanese flag up high. The boos continue as Yama raises a tree trunk of a leg into the air in the centre of the ring, and stomps down into a crouching pose – letting out a monstrous shout at the same time.
The Japanese flag continues to wave behind him, and Otto Price enters the ring, careful as he ever is to make sure Lincoln is positioned between himself and the massive monster.
Price: Ladies and Gentleman, at this time, please welcome the Premier American Champion, Shujin Yama, and his representative, Sensei Abe Lincoln.
The Classic fans indeed welcome the two, continuing their jeering.
Price: Sensei Lincoln, tonight your associate Shujin Yama will compete for the first time in 2022 as he takes on Holo Make in tonight’s main event. Do you have any final thoughts for…
With a crackle and a bop, Lincoln yanks the microphone from Otto’s hand, and glares at him. Otto Price opens his mouth to object, but when the terrible gaze of Shujin Yama also falls on him, he changes his mind.
Lincoln: Shujin Yama is not here to address Holo-San. Holo-San will be addressed in person when he falls at Shujin Yama’s feet. No. Shujin Yama is here to address you, Otto-San. Shujin Yama is here to address you and all of Classic Wrestling fans.
Again the boos pour in.
Lincoln: Listen to this, mmhmm! Listen to how Classic Wrestling continues to disrespect its Premier American Champion. Shujin Yama represents entire country of America, and this how you repay him!
The production team gets a bit of a work out, making sure some of the obscenities the crowd hurls at Lincoln and Yama are bleeped out.
Lincoln: You have no pride in your country! But never fear! For Shujin Yama has pride! Shujin Yama has purpose! Shujin Yama will bring America back to strength and prominence, just like his new home of Japan!
The cursing of the crowd gives way to something more simplistic. The Classic Wrestling fans unite across the Classic Arena, chanting three simple letters:
Lincoln spits. Yama growls. A few fans in the front rows unlucky enough to make eye contact with the behemoth silence themselves, but when his eyes fall elsewhere, they’re pretty quickly swept back up into the rapture once more.
He screams over top of the crowd.
Lincoln: You chant for your country, but your country’s champion is here! Your country’s champion is Shujin Yama! Every time you say three letters, you make Shujin Yama more powerful! If this what you want, then by all means, continue! Continue to make Shujin Yama stronger! Continue to make Shujin Yama angrier! But know this, mmhmm! You only continue to make sure Shujin Yama is Premier American Champion FOREVER!
And then there was Frank.
KKF: NAWP! NOT MAH CHAMP’YIN!
The dulcet tones of Ted Nugent’s guitar shredding herald the arrival of King Kong Frank to the ringside are with a microphone in one hand and Ol’ Glory herself waving proudly from a pole in the other. He tosses the mic to a nearby attendant before pulling himself up onto the ring apron with one mighty hand and a giant sized step!
Moss: Here we go!
Howley: IT’S ABOUT TO BE WORLD WAR THREE HERE AT THE KBTV STUDIOS!
Frank tugs himself into the ring but before he can go on the offensive Yama and Lincoln have both studiously vacated the ring. The flag flies high as Frank stomps over to the nearest turnbuckle and raises it to the sky one more time, just like last week! He points a gnarled finger down at the scowling champion.
Disgusted, Yama stomps around before Sensei Lincoln attempts to earmuff the champ with his own two hands. It’s very comical.
The fand around the ringside area join in with Frank.
Yama stomps off, with Lincoln in tow.
Howley: This is why the rest of the world hates us, Moss!
Howley: I said what I said!
Moss: Fans, we’ve got to take a break and pay some bills! We’ll be RIGHT BACK!