Cut to the commentary table where Moss and Howley anxiously await the match of all matches for the evening.
Moss: It’s Main Event time, Thunderbird!
Howley: Let’s be honest, Moss, everyone in this arena is here to see one thing, and one thing only…PAPA WILD THANG! FERAL…FREDDY…KILGORE!
Moss: Whoa baby! I would wager a guess that there are some Dash Dackson fans sprinkled throughout the crowd who are eagerly anticipating the arrival of their favorite rookie!
Thunderbird returns a furrowed brow riddled with curiosity toward Patrick Moss.
Howley: Can you claim a person from the future as being a rookie? Is he REALLY a rookie, Moss?
Moss: Well, he’s a rookie to all of us at Classic Wrestling and…
Howley (interrupting): Everyone in Classic is a rookie to the Thunderbird…
Joel raises his right bicep up to his face and locks his lips against a bulging vein.
The powerful riffs of Mick Mars and the ultimately legendary beats of Tommy Lee explode through the arena as “Wild Side” by Motley Crue sends Feral Freddy Kilgore, Papa Wild Thang, racing through curtains and across the stage like a God damned raging gazelle as the wrestler speeds down the ramp like an Ethopian track star! The fans are going crazy!
Cut to the commentary table where Moss’ jaw drops as a swoosh of wind blows his hair back. It’d do the same to Joel Howley, but the Thunderbird is too busy with the devil horns held high as his head bangs to the Motley Crue classic.
“Wild” Kat Diamond slowly walks out and claps as she watches Kilgore’s energetic race toward the ring.
Kilgore is several feet from the wrestling ring when he springs forward and mythically flies between the second and third ropes. The referee is nearly blown out of the ring with the force of Kilgore and the ring announcer is quick to hug the ropes in case of any blowback. Feral dives head first toward the canvas but tucks with swift agility to land on both knee pads and slide across the ring toward the opposite set of ropes. He leaps onto his feet and grips the top rope as the song hits its peak. Commence ridiculously over-caffeinated rope shaking!
Moss: Holy hotcakes, Thunderbird! Listen to these fans!
Howley: We’ve seen a lot of fantastic action tonight, but gawt damn there’s nothing that touches the impeccable scene we’ve just witnessed! What an explosion! What an entrance! Oh, and WHAT A BABE!
Diamond watches from ringside as Kilgore methodically circles inside the ring, huffing and puffing, opening and closing his fists. His teeth clench and he growls as…
FLASH! OOAHHHAHHHHHHHH!
Papa Wild Thing turns a glare toward the stage as the fans start to cheer.
SAVIOR OF THE UNIVERSE!
And Dash Dackson struts out onto the stage engulfed in Queen’s epic soundtrack. Kilgore snarls as he walks toward the ropes.
Moss: As Dash makes his way to the ring – I believe it’s safe to say that we’re about to witness a pretty epic match, Thunderbird.
Howley: The thing is, Moss, I’m curious if this future fella is really capable of powering through such a wild persona like Freddy Kilgore. I’ve seen a lot of personalities in my time, but this Feral fella is up there with some of the craziest S-O-B’s I’ve ever seen. Just look at him, Mossy! Just look at him!
The red and black face painted Kilgore eyes his opponent through a layer of wet blonde spaghetti hair as the partisan crowd show their support for both Feral and Dackson. The Future Fighter walks around the ring and makes his way up the steel steps. The eyes of both men have met as Dackson wipes his boots on the ring apron before bending between the ropes and entering the ring. He removes his fashionably futuristic red and black jacket and hands it over to the referee. Papa Wild Thing is knee-high jogging toward the opposite turnbuckle while slowly raising his arms up, and down, up…and down. Freddy huffs, and puffs; he grabs onto the top turnbuckle and begins baging his head against it.
The ring announcer is centered on canvas with the microphone ready…
Harold Robbins: Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL…and a thirty minute time limit. Standing in THIS corner, and weighing in at 282 pounds. He hails from THE WILD SIDE…FERAL…FREDDY…KILGORE!
Papa Wild Thing sticks his tongue out so that it drapes globbering saliva down his chin as he growls like an animal toward Dackson.
Harold Robbins: And his opponent. Weigning in at 210 pounds. He hails from (interrupted by crowd)…
Crowd: THE FUTURE!
Harold Robbins: He is THE FUTURE STAR…DASH…DACKSON!
Dackson steps forward, raises his arm in the air to a sign of support from the crowd, and then he removes his futuristic shades and sends them sailing out into a herd of fighting fans who attempt to rip them from each other’s hands to sell on eBay later this evening.
The superstars step toward each other as Harold Robbins struts backward. The referee signals for the bell as Feral immediately leaps toward Dackson and locks up!
Moss: Here we go!
Howley: This place has erupted!
Kilgore wraps his arm around Dackson for a headlock. He grinds his bicep into Dackson’s skull. Dackson slides through the hold and pushes Kilgore toward the ropes! Feral bounces off and Dackson bends forward in an attempt to flip Kilgore onto his back, but Papa Wild Thing kicks Dackson in the teeth and sends the Future Star flopping onto his back! Kilgore hops over Dackson’s body and runs toward the opposite set of ropes. He bounces off. He hurries toward Dackson and leaps in the air and drops onto Dackson like a sack of bricks! He hooks the leg and goes for a quick pinfall and the referee begins the count…
ONE!
Dackson kicks out with ease and Feral is quick to peel the Future Star from the mat. Dackson reaches up and socks Kilgore in the lower jaw! Feral is up on his feet and takes a few steps back to re-adjust. Dackson spins onto his feet and the men stare at each other. They hurry toward each other again and lock up! Dackson sends a knee into Kilgore’s gut, and then Kilgore returns a knee into Dackson’s gut! Dackson eats that knee and sends a forearm into Kilgore’s head! Freddy takes a step back, wipes sweat and peeling paint from his brow, and then jolts toward Dackson and clothesline’s him! Dash hits the canvas hard and holds the back of his head. Kilgore wastes no time and hurries toward the ropes, bounces off, and delivers a crucial leg drop like a guillotine.
Moss: The difference between the two is six inches and about 70 pounds, so Dackson has his work cut out for him.
Howley: I German suplex tractor tires onto your mother, Moss. Don’t give Corbin Dallas any excuses on how to handle his opponent…
Kilgore hurries to his feet and sends an electrifying yell toward the crowd. Dash rolls onto his side and nurses his throat. Freddy spins around and immediately begins to pound his boots into Dash. He stops after about four stomps and bends forward. He lifts the Future Star onto his feet and is looking for the Gorilla Press Slam! He lifts Dash up into the air…
Moss: Yes! The display of power!
The fans are going crazy! No! Dackson immediately falls onto his feet and spins Kilgore around! The arena can feel the surprise in Feral’s eyes as he faces down at his opponent who socks him in the jaw! Dackson realizes he needs to act fast. He sidekicks Freddy in the left knee. He slaps Freddy in the face! His speed is impeccable as he then punches Freddy in the gut four times, side kicks him in the right knee, nails Kilgore with a spinning backhand to the temple, and then takes two steps back and dropkicks Feral!
Howley: 1.21 JIGGAWATS!
Freddy takes three staggering steps backward. His eyes lock on Dackson who is on one knee. Feral then…
Moss: TIMBUR!!!!
…falls face first into the mat! Dackson wastes no time as he hurries toward the fallen Kilgore. He pulls Kilgore up to his feet and signals for the setup move, Battling the Past! No! Kilgore sends a thundering double axe handle to the back of Dackson’s head and the Future Star tumbles forward toward the ropes. Dackson hugs the bottom rope as Feral steps toward him and the referee intervenes.
Howley: Nothing can stop this man, Moss. If anything…Kilgore is going to make Dackson a legitimate “Future Star” with this match…
Kilgore stomps around the ring to ignite all the Feral Fans in attendance. Wild Kat claps outside the ring. Dackson stands up and rushes toward Kilgore! Papa Wild Thing attempts to grab hold of the Future Star with a bear hug but Dackson slides between his open legs! Dackson hurries up and then socks Kilgore in the spine! Kilgore hunches forward and nurses his back. Dackson then kicks Kilgore into the back of the knees as Feral falls to the mat in pain. Dackson turns around and rushes toward the ropes. He bounces off and heads toward Kilgore…Freddy is up! He is quick to his feet and…
Howley: THE CALL OF THE WILD! Kilgore nails Dackson with THE CALL OF THE WILD!
Kilgore hooks the leg.
ONE!
CROWD: TWO!
CROWD: THREE!
Kilgore pushes Dackson’s leg away and is on one knee with his tongue hanging out. The referee sounds for the bell as the Motley Crue classic sends Kilgore into an undeniably ridiculous rampage in the ring. The fans love it, and eat it up, as Kat Diamond claps and shows off her man in the ring.
Cut to the commentary table.
Howley: See, Moss? That’s how it’s done.
Moss: Dash Dackson did his best, and let’s be honest – he put up a fight, but Feral Freddy Kilgore is heading upward and onward through the tournament and…honestly Howley…if I were anyone left in this tournament? I’d be a bit fearful of this one…
Howley: I fear no man, Moss. Except for your mother.
Moss: (Deflecting) What a night! Ladies and gentlemen, we are OUTTA TIME! We’ll see you NEXT TIME at CLASSIC WRESTLING!