Moss: And here we go, folks! World Tag Team Championship is on the line as Surf Express Bro take on the Amazing Amarettos!
Howley: Time to see if these surfers can hang ten with the greatest magicians in the world!
We go to the ring where Harold Robbins is standing by for introductions!
Robbins: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the World Tag Team Championship! Introducing first, the challengers…
The familiar guitar licks and drum beats to “Nothin’ But a Good Time” by Poison hit your eardrums and from the back bounds Bowie Abrams and Bradlee Nelson in matching long tights and miles-wide smiles.
Robbins: Coming to the ring from Pocatello, Idaho at a combined weight of 417 pounds, the team of Bowie Abrams and Bradlee Nelson…SURF EXPRESS BROOOOO!
They play to the audience here in Columbus, getting them into the show as they make their way to the ring. Once they’re between the ropes, they’ll flex and pose a bit for the laaaaadies as they get ready for the match.
Robbins: And their opponents…
KA-BOOM! Twin explosions create twin rising plumes of purple smoke, and the Amazing Amarettos, Carlo and Gomez, “magically” appear on the stage. They regale the crowd as they flourish their capes, twirl their wands, and tip their top hats to the audience in perfectly coordination with each other. Their lovely assistant Suzie steps out through the entry-way in a rather normal, non-magical fashion, and her eyes roll back as she holds out her arms in a half-assed show of presentation. The brothers pose with absolute pomp and majesty before all three make their way down to the ring.
Robbins: Making their way to the ring accompanied by their lovely assistant Suzie, at a combined weight of 480 pounds, they are the World Tag Team Champions, the team of Carlo and Gomez…THE AMAAAAAZING AMARETTOOOOOOS!
The Amarettos perform all manner of magic tricks as they walk down the ramp, conjuring up all manner of cards, quarters, scarves, confetti, pigeons, and flower bouquets seemingly out of thin air. Carlo and Gomez climb up to the ring from opposite corners and converge at the center of the apron, where they take Suzie by either hand and delicately “levitate” her off the floor, over the ropes, and into the ring before stepping through the ropes themselves. With all three in the ring, they again pose majestically for the audience before finally preparing for this championship bout…and the ref calls for the bell to start us off!
We start things off with Bradlee and Gomez, who circle around each other looking for an opening. Gomez goes for a tie-up but Bradlee quickly takes him down with a drop toe hold before getting to his feet, waiting for the champ to do the same. Gomez obliges, and the two finally lock up…and now it’s Gomez getting an upper hand, sending Bradlee to the ropes with an Irish whip! Gomez with a clothesline on the rebound…but Bradlee ducks under! Bradlee hits the opposite ropes, using it as a springboard for a surprise crossbody on Gomez!
Moss: Wow, Bradlee Nelson really taking it to Gomez Amaretto in the early going!
Howley: But can he keep the momentum on his side?
It’s a question that Bradlee never gets a chance to answer, as Gomez is already back on his feet and going after the challenger with a flurry of offense! Bradlee is sent to his corner, but manages to make a tag to Bowie in the process! The crowd is ecstatic as Abrams comes running in, making a beeline for Gomez with some great strikes that keep the champ at bay until Bowie hits a dropkick, sending the champ through the ropes and to the outside! Carlo goes running around to aid Gomez, as Bowie heads to the ropes for speed…and dives over the top onto the champions!
Moss: Oh my, all three men are down and out!
Howley: Bit of a dumb move there by Bowie if you ask me, you can’t win the titles on a count out!
Sure enough, the ref has already begun his count, getting to 2 as Bowie and Gomez slowly make their way back to their feet…and the ref is at 5 when Gomez finally gets in the ring! Before he can slide in as well, we see that Bowie is stuck…with an arm reaching out and clutching him by the ankle! The ref is at 6 now, and 7 as Bowie yanks his leg back…revealing Suzie was underneath! The lovely assistant finally lets go as the ref reaches 8, but that’s enough time for Bowie to slide in and avoid the count out! Unfortunately for him, the distraction creates an opening for Gomez to exploit as he hits a knee to the face of Abrams!
Moss: Wow, the champ with a cheap shot after Suzie nearly cost Bowie the match here!
Howley: All’s fair in love and title matches, Moss!
Bowie is down as Gomez goes for the cover…but Bradlee manages to break the count right around 2! This frustrates the magician, but he shakes it off as Carlo reaches out from the corner. Tag made between the champions, who start double-teaming Bowie with some hard punches and kicks to wear the surfer down. Gomez finally leaves the ring, giving Carlo a chance to keep on the attack before sending Abrams down with a snapmare. He follows this up with a swift and hard kick to the back of the spine, much to the chagrin of both Abrams and the crowd!
Moss: Carlo showing an extra bit of aggression by the looks of things with that kick!
Howley: That’s because he is an artist, Moss, and you WILL respect his artistry! Bowie’s learning that lesson the hard way here!
Carlo brings Bowie back to his feet after that kick, but Abrams catches the magician with a jawbreaker! The impact sends Carlo reeling toward the corner as Bowie turns his attention to Bradlee, reaching out in the hopes of getting tagged back in. Bowie crawls in that direction…but is cut off by a blindside attack from Carlos, a stomp to the head keeping Abrams down! Carlo taunts Bradlee in the corner as he brings Bowie to his feet once more, sending the surfer to the ropes for a clothesline…but he suffers the same fate as Gomez earlier, as Bowie ducks it! He shifts direction enough, and makes the hot tag to Bradlee!
Moss: Here we go, folks! Bradlee looks fresh and ready to go to work!
Howley: He better not get too cocky, Moss!
Like a bat out of hell, Bradlee rushes in with a flurry of offense that sends Carlo down to the canvas hard! He makes a beeline for Gomez, looking to keep the other Amaretto out of action…but Gomez catches him with a forearm to the head! Bradlee is dazed by this, giving Carlo a chance to roll Bradlee up! It’s the most dangerous move in all of professional wrestling, but will it be enough for the champ to retain?
Moss: Good lord, Bradlee managed to kick out despite the sneak attack by Gomez!
Howley: I can’t believe Carlo borrowed a page from Randall Schwartz there! If only he was here now…
Bradlee rolls out of the way of a now frustrated Carlo, who calls Gomez in to even things up. This prompts Bowie to hop in as well, and things have broken down into an all-out brawl between the competitors! Somewhere in the mix up, we see Suzie pull out a magic wand, sliding it into the ring for Carlo to use…but it gets kicked right out of the ring by the ref, who won’t have any of THAT tonight! The ref manages to maintain control, forcing Gomez and Bowie back to their respective corners…but while the ref is distracted calming Bowie down, we see Carlo and Gomez pull the ol’ switcheroo!
Moss: Oh no, not this again! They’re not even wearing the same TIE tonight!
Howley: How dare you, Moss! I refuse to stand for your tie slander.
They both climb the turnbuckle, hitting a double elbow drop after some much-needed theatrics! THE AMAZING ATOM-SMASHER! Gomez…or is it Carlo…goes for the cover as the ref makes the count!
DING! DING! DING!
Robbins: Here are your winners, and STILL the World Tag Team Champions…THE AMAZING AMARETTOOOOOS!
The crowd show their disapproval as the champions accept the ref raising their arm in victory, much to the chagrin of Bowie who checks on Bradlee before we cut to commentary!
Moss: I can’t believe those Amarettos pulled off that dirty play tonight, in what was an excellent match up to that point!
Howley: I have no clue what you’re talking about Moss, they retain those belts the hard way tonight!
Moss: It really makes you wonder who can stop these magicians and take those tag belts, but I think the Surf Express Bro will want a bit of revenge for tonight sooner rather than later!