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Welcome to Classic Wrestling: Episode 13

December 13, 2021 by mikey

Instead of the usual Ozzy Osborne that greets us each and every week to begin Classic Wrestling on RBTV, we instead get the infamous “Jingle Bell Rock” by Bobby Helms playing through the Classic Studio. The fans, many dressed up in Christmas hats, and ugly sweaters stand and clap along to the song. 

The usual video package is shown but this time there’s snowflakes and red and green lights surrounding the frame. The slams are timed pretty well with the one time only theme song, and we can see our commentary team is dressed appropriately as well. 

We move over to Otto Price who’s standing poised and ready. He’s wearing his normal tuxedo for tonights show save for one small change. A mistletoe is affixed to his jacket pocket. He looks down at it and smiles before greeting the Classic Wrestling fans. 

Otto Price: Welcome ladies and gentlemen to a Christmas Edition of Classic Wrestling on RBTV! I’m your host Otto Price, and I hope you’re having a holly jolly holiday! I’m excited you’ve decided to join us, as are my tag team partners….

The camera switches over to the commentary booth, where patrick Moss stands in full santa garb including a faux white beard. On the other hand THUNDERBIRD, has simply traded in his gold and black jacket for a red and green one of the same variety. 

Howley: You look ridiculous Moss! 

Moss: Welcome everyone! Thanks for tuning in, I hope you all find yourselves on the good list this year, unlike my partner who’s most definitely on the naughty list! 

Howley: I better not be! 

Back over to Otto-Pilot

Price: Thanks guys! We’ve got a huge night, but only one match to talk about right here right off the bat. Tonight in the MAIN EVENT of the evening we’ve got The Surf Express Bro, Bradlee Nelson going one on one with our REAL WORLDS HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! Vito Valentino and the championship IS ON THE LINE! It’s the biggest edition of Classic Wrestling TV ever! 

He lets it hang out there so the fans can cheer on both fan favorites. They promptly do. 

Price: Aside from that folks, we’ve got some big matchups for you but we don’t know what they are!? It’s a Christmas Mystery Extravaganza! The way this is going to work is this… 

The camera cuts to a shot backstage where a beautiful white christmas tree is decorated with lights, colors, bulbs and tinsel. Underneath it is a litany of Christmas presents, all wrapped up with bows on top. Otto does a voice over. 

Price: One by one wrestlers will come meet me backstage by the tree, they will select a gift and will have to fight the person/ or persons whose names are in the box with little to no notice! The Classic roster has been preparing all week to face mystery men, but the wait is finally over! We’re going to find out who’s facing who! RIGHT NOW! 

The “Jingle Bell Rock” music starts up again as Otto Price makes his way backstage. It isn’t long before he’s in front of the tree standing and smiling. Otto checks his cue card and begins up again as the music fades out. 

“Giddy-up jingle horse, pick up your feet, Jingle around the clock” 

Price: Alright the first man up tonight to choose their opponent is… Our PREMIER AMERICAN CHAMPION! Shujin Yama! 

The fans boo loudly in the arena, as Sensei Abraham Lincoln comes around the corner smiling. Behind him is the large and intimidating Shujin Yama walking slowly with the championship thrown over his shoulder. 

Price: Important note for Shujin Yama… 

Lincoln whispers something to Otto. 

Price: The ONLY man in Classic Wrestling history to successfully defend his championship by the way! 

Lincoln appears appeased. 

Price: The Premier American Championship WILL NOT be on the line in this matchup! Shujin Yama instead will have the opportunity to select his opponent… kind of. He won’t know who’s in what box, instead he will simply pick a box and hand it to me for the reveal. 

Yama doesn’t flinch or make any movement when Otto is done. Instead Sensei Abraham Lincoln turns around with joy and eyes all the gifts. He does one lap around the tree to eye up all the boxes, looking for any indication of who might be inside. He finds none. With the utmost confidence, Sensei Abe Lincoln grabs two boxes sitting right next to one another. He lifts them both and hands them to Otto who looks confused. 

Price: Excuse me Sensei Lincoln, you’re only supposed to choose one box… 

The sensei shakes his head slowly before speaking into Otto’s Mic. 

Lincoln: Otto-San! This is not just an opportunity for Shujin Yama to showcase his prowess in professional wrestling, but an opportunity to send a message to the throngs of wrestlers backstage that his Premier American Championship is not up for grabs. This will be a message to the masses, not to step up against Shujin Yama, for he is unbeatable! 

Otto shrugs and shakes his head before opening the first present. He slips the bow off before tearing into the paper with reckless abandon. Once free he opens the box and pulls out an 8 x 10. 

Otto Price: The first wrestler pulled is SCOTT HUNTER! 

Back on the studio floor, the commentary team is very surprised. 

Moss: Yama vs Scott Hunter! 

Howley: Wait Moss, there’s another box! 

Back to Otto-San. 

Price: Well here we go with the second box in what will now be a Triple Threat Matchup I guess! 

He opens the second box with a curiosity filled frenzy. He slowly pulls out the second 8×10 which is facing the camera. 

Moss: IT’S HARRY CHEST! Classic-Wrestling’s resident super hero! 

Howley: So now because Yama picked two we get a triple threat? 

Moss: That’s the way it sounds Thunderbird! 

Howley: When’s that happening!? 

Back to Price. 

Price: AND THAT MATCH IS RIGHT AFTER THIS WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS!! 

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