Moss: Folks! Up next is our MAIN EVENT and what a scorcher we have for you!
Howley: For once, my broadcast partner isn’t wrong!
Moss: We h- hey. We have one of the finalists in the Real World’s Championship tournament, Rush Starling, teaming up with one of the most popular wrestlers in all of Classic Wrestling, Vito “Metro” Valentino!
Moss: That’s right, Moss. And together, they face the man who actually WON the tournament and became Real World’s Champion, “All Business” Alex Bruder, teaming up with the scariest, largest, and arguably loudest man in Classic Wrestling, Lord Colossus!
Howley: Given what’s been going on lately between Vito and Alex, I wouldn’t be surprised if we see some tempers flare up between the two. And by tempers flare up, I mean Vito whines that he demands Alex’s respect and Alex gives him a what for with the title again!
Moss: Now that’s just ridiculous, Thunderbird. We all know that Vito has been disrespected by this guy at every turn, and on Classic Wrestling: Episode 7, he got himself lambasted with a cheap title smash to the dome!
Howley: That “guy” just so happens to be the Real World’s Champion, and if anyone is allowed to demand respect in Classic Wrestling? It’s “All Business” Alex Bruder.
Moss: Be that as it may, Rush is certainly going to be looking for a comeback win here tonight as he competes in his first match since losing to Alex Bruder at SLAM-A-THON. But with an interesting dynamic thrown in, he also faces the man who he eliminated in the semi-finals of said tournament!
Howley: You say that as if it’s an advantage for Rush. Lord Colossus is angry, and I have no doubt that Walt Whezl has done everything he can to remind him that he gets a chance at redemption against the man who got a fluke roll-up win against him back on Episode 5
Moss: Let’s head down to Harold Robbins to kick-off this highly anticipated Main Event!
The pre-match bell sounds and Harold Robbins stands facing the hard-cam, in the center of the ring, with the Classic Wrestling microphone hanging down from the rafters on its retractable cable.
Robbins: Ladies and gentlemen, this… is our MAIN EVENT of the evening! On his way out to the ring first…
The instrumental classic, “Sirius” by Alan Parsons Project, begins blaring across the arena speakers, causing the entire audience to come off their feet! Rush Starling emerges from behind the curtains and the crowd pops LOUD!
Robbins: From Allentown, Pennsylvania… weighing in at 240lbs… RUSH STARLING!
Rush jogs in place for a moment, rolling his shoulders and limbering up a bit as he acknowledges all of his fans in attendance. Stopping at the entrance ramp, Rush smiles, and then points at the curtains again. Suddenly, “Sirius” morphs into the catchy-as-all-hell classic “Life in the Fast Lane” by The Eagles and the crowd roars yet again!
Robbins: And his partner… from Brooklyn, New York… weighing in at 261lbs… “Metro” VITO VALENTINO!
Vito emergers, wearing his trademark sunglasses, a new shirt that says “Welcome To The METROpolis” in a Guns n’ Roses “Welcome To The Jungle” inspired logo on it, and black tights with yellow stripes and a checkered pattern going down each leg. Vito motions for the crowd to get off their butts and go crazy! Looking at his tag partner, Vito slaps hands with Rush and goes in on a bro-hug before both men make their way down to the ringside area.
Moss: Vito and Rush look like they have a ton of chemistry already and they haven’t even started wrestling yet!
Howley: It’s you, Moss Rock. I haven’t seen a darn thing from these guys to even remotely suggest what you’re suggesting. Let’s wait until they’re in the ring to decide that, shall we?
“Ace of Spades” by Motörhead interrupts as Vito and Rush make their way into the ring, clearly annoyed that their entrance was cut off before they could get into the ring. Rush and Vito look at each other like, “Hey, what gives?!” but soon forget all about it as an angry, seething, Titan of Terror in Lord Colossus makes his way out next.
Robbins: And their opponents… making his way out to the ring first accompanied by Walt Whezl… from Parts Unknown… weighing in at 350lbs… LORD COLOSSUS!
Lord Colossus steps over the ropes and into the ring as Walt Whezl yells at him to “get ‘em’”!
Charging ahead at Starling and Valentino, he swings for a double clothesline, but his intended targets duck under the clothesline attempt and slide to the outside, letting Colossus cool down a bit since the match hasn’t even officially started yet.
Moss: Wow. Lord Colossus looking to get things started in a hurry!
Howley: If I fell victim to a cheap roll-up that eliminated me from the most important tournament of my career, I’d be looking to take it out on anyone in my path, too!
Moss: I’d hardly call getting caught in a basic wrestling move a “cheap roll-up, Thunderbird. Geez you’re especially cantankerous tonight!
Dave Mustaine’s recognizable voice begins screaming across the sound system as Megadeath’s “Train of Consequences” hits. The audience immediately boos as Alex Bruder walks with a measured calmness to him. Smirking at the fans all giving him a hard time, Bruder reminds them all of his place in Classic Wrestling by holding up the Real World Championship.
Robbins: And his tag team partner… making his way down to the ring… from Hillsboro, North Dakota… he is the Real World’s Champion… Alex Br-
Howley: What the…!!
Moss: Vito just made a BEE-LINE for Alex!
Alex motions for Vito to come at him and prepares for another belt shot, but as soon as he swings forward, Vito ducks! Alex turns around and he’s greeted with a series of harsh left hands from the southpaw that sends Alex reeling towards the ring! “Train of Consequences” stops cold and this crowd goes bananas for the fisticuffs on the outside!
Howley: This isn’t right!! The bell hasn’t even sounded!!
Moss: Looks like Vito’s been WAITING for some payback after that despicable cheap shot on Episode 7! And these fans are loving every second of it!
Finally dropping the championship belt, Alex tries to get away from Vito, but the fired up Metro grabs Bruder by the back of his neck, and tosses him at the ring post so hard that when he hits it, his body spins around as it hits the outside mat!
“METRO! METRO! METRO!”
With his hand under his neck, he flicks it towards Bruder, shouting something in Italian that probably shouldn’t be repeated by any of the youngsters in the crowd.
Howley: Well that wasn’t very nice!
Vito rolls back into the ring after this, but is absolutely folded inside out by a clothesline he didn’t see coming from Lord Colossus!!
Moss: He nearly took his head off with that clothesline!
As the dominoes kept falling, Lord Colossus turns around to see Starling leaping into the air from the top rope… and just straight punches Rush in the head for trying a top rope flying cross-body. Lord Colossus lets out a primal roar as Walt Whezl claps and Alex Bruder is still trying to figure out where the heck he is after being thrown into the ring post by a vengeful Vito Valentino.
Moss: This is mayhem, folks!! I think Chip Newman needs to get this thing in order before we even make an attempt to have a tag team match! Folks, we’ll be right back! Don’t go anywhere!
Howley: We Really need picture in picture, don’t we?
We fade in from the commercial break where we see Lord Colossus unmercifully beating on Rush Starling.
Moss: Welcome back, folks! The match officially got underway after Chip Newman called for the bell! While the action continued during break, we want to show you what happened exactly that set Rush Starling and Lord Colossus into the position they’re in now..
A replay shows Alex Bruder finally gaining his bearings after being driven into the ring post by Vito Valentino during their skirmish on the outside before the official bell was sounded. Bruder slid into the ring and when Walt Whezl had the referee distracted, Bruder once again grabbed his Real World’s Championship and blasted Vito upside the back of the head with it! Vito looked to be out cold and out of commission on the outside of the ring. Bruder rolled back outside and dropped the championship on the outside so that Chip wouldn’t see it.
Moss: As you can see, this has caused Rush Starling to be alone in the ring right now and Vito is still recovering on the outside while Lord Colossus and Rush Starling remain the legal competitors in the match!
Howley: It was only right. Vito gave him the cheap-shot before the bell even rang!
Lord Colossus has Rush Starling in the turnbuckles, repeatedly smashing him with mini-football tackles in the corner until the Allentown native collapses down to his keister against the bottom rope. Meanwhile, Vito is still on outside, having some difficulty even getting up.
Moss: Vito looks like he’s in another world right now. Not good.
Howley: He shouldn’t have egregiously attacked the Real World’s Champion before the bell then!
Grabbing Starling by his neck, Colossus rag dolls him to the center of the ring with a massive biel throw!
Moss: My God!! He just launched Rush clear across the ring!!
Howley: What impressive strength from the Lord!
Colossus puts his foot on top of Starling’s chest…
Thr- Starling kicks out and Colossus snarls!
Bruder extends his hand for Lord Colossus to tag it… who doesn’t seem to want to accept it. But suddenly, Walt motions for Colossus to make the tag anyway. Snarling some more, Lord Colossus smacks Alex Bruder on his shoulder and steps over the ropes, looking none too happy.
Moss: Looks like Alex Bruder wants to get him some of Rush Starling tonight, too.
Howley: Certainly appears that way!
Picking his opportunity like the ultimate opportunist, Alex Bruder measures up Rush Starling for something.
Moss: Is he going for the Cobra Clutch?!
Howley: I think he is! This one’s over if he can lock it in!
The fans freak out as Bruder holds his arms out, anxiously awaiting Rush to get up. When he does, he goes to trap the arm… but Starling counters by sending Bruder into the ropes. On the rebound, Rush connects with a beautifully executed dropkick! Bruder is up again, and Starling connects with another one! For a third time, Bruder is up. But instead of going for the dropkick, he hops to the middle turnbuckle and leaps forward, connecting with a flying crossbody! Rush hooks the leg!
Thr- Bruder kicks out!
Moss: Rush Starling darn near pinned the Real World’s Champion there!
Looking exhausted after having been in the ring this whole time, Starling collapses and begins crawling over to Vito, who has only just now gotten back onto the apron! Bruder is starting to get up and sees Starling crawling over to his damaged partner. Realizing he cannot have a fired up Vito Valentino in the ring right now, Bruder grabs Starling’s leg and pulls him away from Vito’s now outstretched hand….
…but he’s too late! Rush with the hot tag and suddenly Vito’s eyes go wide with fury as he points at the man who bludgeoned him twice with the Real World’s Championship.
Vito is in like a house of fire! Just as Bruder makes an attempt to throw a fist, Vito ducks. Charging to the opposite ropes from his corner where he tagged in, Vito rebounds and nails Bruder with a vicious clothesline that sends him down hard! Yelling at him to get up, Vito wastes no time picking Bruder up for a bodyslam when he does. Planting him with Earth-Shattering force, Vito makes a motion for something!
He begins twisting Bruder’s legs up for the Metro Avenue Deathlock… but Lord Colossus steps one leg over the top rope and makes it seem like he’s going to do something!
It’s just enough of a diversion for Vito to stop trying to tie up Bruder’s legs! As soon as he lets go, Bruder has the roll-up on Vito!
Thr– Vito kicks out!
Vito rolls back with great agility and charges ahead, side-stepping Alex Bruder and nailing a 260lbs dropkick to Lord Colossus that sends him off the apron, smacking his ribs off of the apron and putting him down to one knee in one fell swoop.
Howley: Another cheap shot!
Moss: Will you stop it?!
Wanting to put him down the rest of the way, Rush Starling sprints around the perimeter of the ring and connects with a dropkick to Lord Colossus’s head that sends him the rest of the day down to his back!
Moss: Starling just made sure Colossus isn’t getting back in the ring! At least not right away!
Howley: Cobra Clutch!! Bruder has it!!
Sure enough, Bruder locks in the cobra clutch on a distracted Vito. Vito struggles to get out of it while Bruder begins to put Vito out.
Moss: This isn’t good..
Howley: Nobody gets out of the-
Vito leaps up with a single foot and pushes off of the top turnbuckle, causing Bruder to fall back and Vito to roll back on top of him with the Cobra Clutch still locked in!
DING! DING! DING!
Moss: VITO GOT HIM!
The fans become unglued as Vito rolls off of Bruder, with a giant smile on his face.
Robbins: Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner by pinfall… the team of ”Metro” Vito Valentino and Rush Starling!