There are crowds, and then there are Classic Wrestling Pay-Per crowds. The concourse is packed, with a crowd that’s absolutely buzzing about the unbelievable ending to Lord Colossus vs. Chick Grillbreast. It’s too much to process at the moment, so for many fans, they have to power through their complex emotional reactions by voiding their bladders, or buying popcorn, and for some unfortunate vendors, doing both at the same time.
Fortunately, Ken Roddy and Joe Jitsu, Classic Wrestling’s Black Belts aren’t in that line.
Ken, in his finest day glo Vito Valentino tank tap, waits patiently as their line for Dippin’ Dots advances at a steady pace.
Roddy: What an amazing night, and we’ve only seen a few matches. If we play our cards right, next year, we’ll see The Black Belts competing at ClassicMania. But all things in time. Isn’t that right, Joe?
Joe is not as tastefully garbed as his compatriot. Sure, he has the stylish ClassicMania baseball cap, and the foam King Kong Frank chain, but his shirt…his shirt is wrong. Maybe there’s a reason it was only twelve dollars and being sold at a stand across the street, instead of from one of the reputable vendors inside the arena, or even the online Classic-Wrestling.com shop. Adorned with the names of many almost Classic Wrestling superstars, we catch glimpses of “Meteor” Vito Valentine, Duke Much Larger Than The Standard, Jay Evens and Dougie Decker.
Jitsu: Right on, Ken! This time next year, we won’t be worrying about why the ice cream of the future isn’t here in our hands right now, but fighting on the largest venue of them all…ClassicMania!
Ken slaps his friend on the back, before giving him a hard time.
Roddy: Of course, who can predict where we’ll be in a year. Why, maybe we’ll be in the main event of ClassicMania Too, fighting….
Ken leans in to read Joe’s bootleg shirt.
Roddy: …Pretend Boyfriend and Jimmy Saint Nelson?
Joe drops into a pretend fighting pose.
Jitsu: You think I can’t take them? Pretend Boyfriend would have been all tuckered out from traveling all the way from Canada! Which admittedly, isn’t that far from Detroit, but maybe ClassicMania Too will be in Hawaii! That’s so much further away! He’d be exhausted in this scenario!!!
It’s possible that Joe doesn’t need any more sugar. Ken hears some grumbling behind him, and realizes that the two had not been advancing in the queue properly, and there was now a decent gap between them and the next group before them. The Black Belts somersault forward, and spring to their feet, startling a trio of ninjas, all wearing BDSM gear, by which I clearly mean Bobby Dean t-shirts and Lunchbox Larry overalls.
Ninja 1: We would destroy you, Black Belts! But we’ve been looking forward to Mushigara vs Leon Van Zandt for weeks, and security is super strict about fights outside of the ring.
Ninja 2: *cackles evilly*
Ninja 3: I think Eddie Dante’s the best.
Roddy: Next time?
The trio consider it, and nod, before rushing away, presumably towards their seats.
Jitsu: They like Eddie Dante? Just when you thought you couldn’t think any less of someone.