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Mikey Unlikey's Fed of All Feds

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Tough Day At The Office

February 14, 2022 by mikey

Otto Price is standing at his podium, his thin microphone in hand, smiling for the audience at home.

OP:  I am joined at this time by the former Real World’s Heavyweight Champion, “All Business” Alex Bruder.

The camera shifts, showing Bruder to Otto’s left, spiffily dressed in a gunmetal gray suit, maroon shirt and jet black tie.

AB:  Price, that’s “The First Real World’s Champion”.  The template for everybody to come.  Not that they can quite measure up.

Otto nods politely, and carries on.

OP:  Indeed Mr. Bruder, you had a fantastic run that culminated in you capturing the title.  But since you won the championship at Slam-A-Thon, you’ve yet to win another televised match.  You were pinned by the current champion in a tag team match…

Bruder cuts him off.

AB:  I’m not a tag team wrestler.

Price continues.

OP: ..submitted to Vito “Metro” Valentino….

AB:  After he faked being knocked out.

OP:  …lost the four way match to be named the number one contender…

AB:  I wasn’t beat.

OP:  …and most recently were soundly defeated by “Feral” Freddy Kilgore.

AB:  When I had minutes to prepare.

Price stops, a look of disbelief on his face.

OP:  Freddy Kilgore, our inaugural Premier American Champion, didn’t have any more time to prepare than you did!

Bruder’s face is not of disbelief.  His scowl betrays his mounting anger at this line of conversation.

AB:  No, he just had three inches and fifty pounds on me.  I’m sure he was just as disadvantaged by the short notice as I was.  There ain’t a man, woman or child in this arena who doesn’t know that if I had time to prepare, Kilgore would have gone down like so many before him. Everybody here will see as much tonight when Lord Colossus and I wipe the mat with Kilgore and “Metro” in the main event.

OP:  Well, I’m not so sure that I agree with that statement….hey!

Price is cut off by Bruder grabbing his left shoulder.

AB:  Son, are you calling me a liar?

OP:  Mr. Bruder, I understand you must be upset about your recent misfortune, but do take your hands off of me!

His grip tightens instead.

AB:  You ask me out here to have me talk about my recent string of…less desirable outcomes, and you take that time to run me down?  To what, make a mockery of my efforts?  I ask you again, Price, are you calling me a liar?

Price, flummoxed, starts stammering.

OP:  I would never call you a liar.  Now please, let go of me.

This time, Bruder relents, but almost as quickly as he unhands Otto, he slides his suit jacket off, folds it over his arm, and sets it on the podium.

AB:  You insult me on television, call me a liar, and think that I’m going to let you get away with that?  I’m a professional, Price, but also a man.  I have my pride.  You forget who you’re talking to.

OP:  Calm down, Mr. Bruder.  There’s no need for any of this.

Alex unbuttons his cuffs, and rolls his sleeves up past his elbows.

AB:  This is a courtesy, Price.  Take off your glasses.

OP:  I wasn’t insulting you, Mr. Bruder.

Alex loosens his tie, and unbuttons his collar.

AB:  Last chance, Price.  You want to disrespect me, that’s your choice, but it doesn’t leave me with a lot of options.  Take off your damned glasses.

Backing away, Price, ever the professional, keeps his mic ready, but his tone is clearly plaintive.

OP:  Can we get somebody out here?

Bruder grasps Price by the back of the neck and ducks behind him, ready to apply the Cobra Clutch to the beloved announcer of Classic Wrestling, much to the audience’s horror.

Just as quickly, their gasps turn to a roar as “Feral” Freddy Kilgore erupts from the curtain at full speed towards the interview area. “All Business” releases Otto Price and ducks The Call of The Wild, before quickly exiting post haste.

Papa Wild Thing takes a moment to check on his favorite Otto-Bot, who appears to say that he’s all right.  While distracted, Alex Bruder returns with a wooden folding chair, shattering it against Kilgore’s back with a powerful swing.

“All Business” lifts a leg of the ruined chair triumphantly, but Kilgore is unfazed. He straightens his back, his eyes nearly bulging out of his head and his hands shaking with power as he pivots while snarling at Bruder.

AB:  Sonnuva…

Fists fly, as “Feral” Freddy Kilgore and “All Business” Alex Bruder brawl back towards and then behind the curtain.

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