The camera cuts to a shot near the entrance way of Otto Price who is standing by with the former Olympian Jack Fargo.
Otto Price: Are you feeling good coming off a win last week against the debuting Holo Make?
Jack Fargo: It’s been a bumpy ride so far here in Classic Wrestling…you know what I mean? But I feel like I’m starting to find my groove. You know what I mean? We fell off track for a moment…. you know what I mean…but we’ve regrouped and are moving forward with a strong momentum. You know what I mean? I couldn’t do it without these great fans.
A mild response from the crowd.
Otto Price: I heard you spent the day at the local Boys and Girls club teaching fitness to underprivileged junior athletes?
Jack Fargo: The little Fargo Dreamers club was a smash hit…you know what I mean? It was everything right with……
Moss: What is this now?
Howley: Somebody is harassing ring announcer Harold Robbins!
Moss: Oh no is that our intern troublemaker again? I thought he was banned from the show??!!!
The camera didn’t catch where he came from, but Burton Howell III is indeed over by the ring announcer’s chair and is wrestling the mic from Harold Robbins.
Burton Howell: Hold on…hold on…hold on. Get your hands off me Harry, I’ll sue you and replace you as the ring announcer I always should have been. Hello Classic Wrestling if you don’t know me, I’m Burton Howell the….
Crowd: TURD TURD TURD….
Burton Howell: The THIRD!
Burton starts walking towards Otis and Fargo.
Burton Howell: You know a few weeks ago the owner here in Classic Wrestling underutilized my talents as head of talent relations and sent me on a kid’s task to file paperwork with the state. That paperwork was for all the manager licenses here in Classic Wrestling. He felt the quota was reached and didn’t want to see anymore. This man failed to see the potential in me. I have a degree in COMMUNICATIONS!!! I know how to talk to people. So I QUIT as intern slash errand boy, but security stand down, because I am now here as a licensed manager on OFFICIAL business!! That’s right I filed my name, along with the others, so Burton Howell THEEEEEEE
Crowd: TURD!
Howell looks disappointedly at the crowd as he shows off his freshly laminated license to Otto Price.
Burton Howell: Third. So Otto, you’re probably wondering why the great “The Great Communicator” is here interrupting you and Fargo.
Otto Price: It did cross my mind, yes.
The cocky kid points at Fargo.
Burton Howell: I look at this man right here and I see a potential client. Because he too has been railroaded by the powers that be here in Classic Wrestling and by you “basic” fans. Sure, he isn’t a great talker, or a dynamic personality, but he is an Olympic medalist! Classic uses his name and places him in matches with giants hoping to see him squashed and forgotten to get over their overgrown botch monsters and the morbid obese plumper’s. You people look at him and see a third-place loser instead of one of the top 1% of wrestlers in the entire world. Who here has been on a Wheaties box Otto Price? Have you ever been pictured on a box of cereal?
Otto Price: I have not.
Burton turns to the crowd.
Burt Howell: Have any of you low-lives ever been on a cereal box?
A turd chant starts again
Burt Howell: I bet half of you can’t even solve the dummy puzzles for kids on the back of the box! I wish some of these faces in the crowd were on the side of the milk carton instead, Otto, if you know what I mean. Jack, you need my help. I understand you. I GET WHAT YOU MEAN. Stop being disrespected by the systematic structures of the wrestling world. Stop being disrespected by the rube troop of “basic fans” that fill these seats because they never have, and never will, be the elite specimen that you are. Forget your dads’ insurance business it’s time to go into business for yourself and I Burton Howell the THIR….
CROWD: TURD!
Burt Howell: THIRD, We’ll guide BRONZE FARGO to GOLD. Do you know what I mean?
Fargo: I have some thinking to do. Next week I’ll decide, you make some good points.
The crowd boos.
Burt Howell: Fair enough. I’ll see you next week, and Otto, do something about the garbage that you wear because you’re interviewing an Olympic athlete. This man has been on the DREW BARRYMORE SHOW for Christ’s sake.
Moss: Interesting development I hope we see him flush this turd next week.
Howley: I’m starting to like the kid, he’s got initiative!! I think Fargo really should consider his offer for representation.