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Mikey Unlikey's Fed of All Feds

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The Long Gong!

April 1, 2022 by mikey

GONG!

The familiar sound rings out around the arena, as “Big” Joe Geoue appears in the frame, standing in front of a Capital Clash banner.

Geoue: Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce at this time, the Premier American Champion, Shujin Yama.

The insidious Sensei Abe Lincoln slips into the shot, clad in his typical tuxedo and bowler hat. In his hands, he holds firm to a large pole with the Japanese flag atop it. He grins at “Big” Joe, and ushers him backwards, allowing space for the massive champion, Shujin Yama, to make his presence known. A massive robe, surprisingly void of any distinguishable pattern, coats his massive frame.

Lincoln: Yes, mmhmm. Premier American Champion. Still Premier American Champion. Forever Premier American Champion. Shujin Yama.

Yama folds his gigantic arms in front of his chest.

Geoue: Some have been saying that this is your biggest challenge yet. Shujin Yama, I would love to hear what you say to that.

Lincoln: Do you even need to ask?

Geoue: Uh… I was talking to Yama.

Lincoln looks surprised. And offended.

Lincoln: I speak for Shujin Yama.

Geoue: I get that, but I also note that your client seemed to have broken the vow of silence he took last year. It’s reasonable to assume that King Kong Frank has sufficiently gotten under his skin in order for that to occur.

Lincoln: You know nothing of Shujin Yama!

He spits.

Lincoln: Frank-San has not gotten under Shujin Yama’s skin. Frank-San is merely convenient excuse for American idiot like you to ignore delicate technicalities. WHy did Shujin Yama make vow of silence, Joe-San?

Geoue: Umm…

Lincoln: Disrespect! He took vow because of disrespect! Disrespect offered by Classic Wrestling! By people like you! But that disrespect has continued, Joe-San! Shujin Yama is longest reigning champion in Classic Wrestling history, but still people do not give him respect he deserves!

Geoue: Then why did he break his vow?

Lincoln: Answer is much bigger than mere disrespect. Answer drives to very heart of who Shujin Yama is. Classic Wrestling fans chant for their country, and with every letter they sing, Shujin Yama is personally insulted. Shujin Yama is not just going to defeat Frank-San tonight to retain Premier American Championship. Shujin Yama is going to defeat Frank-San in order to prove that choices he made – flag he rose – was best choice he ever made.

Geoue: Yama?

He looks to the big man.

Geoue: Anything to add?

Lincoln leers at “Big” Joe, clearly unimpressed by continuing to be undermined like this. Yama pauses, giving Lincoln some comfort, but one massive tree trunk of a leg stepping forward gives him second doubt.

Shujin Yama takes centre stage.

Yama: U-S-A! U-S-A!

He taunts “Big” Joe with the chant, but it takes off with those in the crowd. Yama snickers and laughs.

Yama: This is the grand summation of King Kong Frank’s efforts. Three little letters. You think that they’ve had an impact on me, Joe? You think that Frank has gotten under my skin? Every time that we’ve been in the same ring, he’s wound up flat on the deck. What do I have to worry about?

“Big” Joe goes to speak, but Yama does not give him an opening.

Yama: Nothing. This isn’t about any threat that Frank might pose to me, it’s about the threat that I pose to him. Let’s not kid ourselves, Joe: the people here in The Mistake on the Lake can chant all they want, but I’m not entering into Frank’s world. He’s entering into mine. He is the invading force, not me! And I’m going to repel him, and anybody else who thinks that like him. Do you hear me?

He stands, inches away from “Big” Joe’s face, looking like he might eat the interviewer at any moment.

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