GONG!!!
The sound echoes around the Classic Arena, followed soon by the Japanese National Anthem piping through over the speaker system. It doesn’t take long for the Premier American Champion, Shujin Yama, to step out into the arena, the championship draped across his massive shoulder. Sensei Abe Lincoln slinks around him, waving the Japanese flag above his head and jeering towards the crowd. He leads his monster towards the ring, holding the ropes open for Yama to step through. Yama takes a statuesque position in the centre of the ring, while Lincoln fetches a microphone to boos from the Classic fans in attendance.
Lincoln: Today is special day, mmhmm. Today, YOUR Premier American Champion, the Oni of Oblivion, Shujin Yama, graces you with his presence. BUT! This will be only time you see Shujin Yama tonight.
A spattering of cheers intermixes with the boos, no doubt happy at the prospect of seeing less of the gaijin sumo.
Lincoln: Mmm… yes. Shujin Yama scheduled to fight later tonight, but tag team main event will not happen! One month ago, Shujin Yama took Premier American Championship from Freddy Kilgore’s lifeless body. But Shujin Yama did not stop there, no? Shujin Yama did to Freddy-San what happens to all American corpses… Shujin Yama sent Freddy-San straight to hell!
Moss: This is disgusting behavior! The sheer disrespect shown.
Howley: Is he wrong though? We haven’t seen hide nor hair of Freddy Kilgore since!
Lincoln: And now, Shujin Yama is expected to face Freddy-San again in tag team match tonight?
He spits on the ground.
Lincoln: No! Freddy-San is squished like a bug. And if Gruff-San insists this match occurs, then King Kong Frank-San will feel same result, and the Pay-Per-View showdown with Lord Colossus will not happen either! Mmhmm. If one thing is known about Shujin Yama, it is that his word is…
Suddenly…
“TAKE A RIDE ON THE WILLLLLD SIDE!”
Lincoln is interrupted by the screeching vocals of Motley Crew! The fans let out a roar of surprise and get to their feet… and that reaction only intensifies when Freddy Kilgore appears through the curtain! He’s dressed in full wrestling gear – painted face and all! With a primal scream, he rushes the ring and slides under the bottom rope!
Moss: FREDDY KILGORE IS HERE!!! KILGORE IS HERE!!!
Freddy Kilgore is in Shujin Yama’s face like a man possessed! He blocks Yama’s attempt at a punch and fires back with ONE! TWO! THREE right hands of his own! Beating his chest as the fans lose their minds, Kilgore sends the mammoth wrestler off the ropes and meets him on the rebound with a clothesline. Yama doesn’t go down, but he is staggered. Kilgore points at Yama and looks to the fans, making the universal sign for “I’m going to slam him!” as the crowd goes bananas!
Moss: Kilgore, injured ribs and all, is looking to lift the Premier American Champion!!
Howley: This isn’t smart, Moss. He’s going to cut his career short if he isn’t careful.
It is not to be, however. Sensei Abe Lincoln is on the apron and waving his hands frantically to distract the crazed Papa Wild Thang. Kilgore swiftly knocks Lincoln off the apron with a stiff round hand as the fans explode! However, the distraction gives Shujin Yama enough time to duck out of the ring. Yama sneers up at his American adversary as he walks backwards toward the curtain, holding his Premier American Championship high. Kilgore points to the escaping monster and storms around the ring, too hyped up to even stay still. Finally, Kilgore looks to a ringside attendant and calls for a mic. Sensei Lincoln has just had enough time to rejoin his charge at the entrance when Kilgore begins to speak. He continues to pace around the ring as he says…Freddy Kilgore: SHUJIN YAMA!!!!! YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD DESTROY PAPA WILD THANG!!! YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD EXTINGUISH MY FIIIIIIAAAA, BABY!
A cheer from the crowd. Yama continues to sneer.
Freddy Kilgore: BUT YOU GONNA HAVE TO KILL ME, BABY, IF YOU WANT TO STOP ME!! AND I’M HERE!! AND I’M READY!! AND TONIGHT, IN OUR MAIN EVENT, YOU GONNA FEEL THE CALL OF THE WIIIIIILLLLLD MY FRIEND!!
Another cheer!
Freddy Kilgore: AND I WILL… WITH ALLLLLL MY WILD HEARTS HERE AS MY WITNESS… SLAM YOUR BUTT RIGHT THROUGH THIS RING!!! AND THERE AIN’T NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!!!
Kilgore slams the mic down and lets loose with a HOOOOOOOOOOWWWWLLL and the fans respond in kind. Back at the entrance Yama glares at Kilgore as Lincoln tries to usher him backstage.
Moss: It looks like our tag team main event will be going ahead after all!
Howley: But what condition is Kilgore truly in, Moss?
Moss: I guess we’ll find out soon enough.