Moss: Here we go, Thunderbird!
Howley: I’m personally excited for this next match, Mossy! Magic verse mystique as one of my favorite teams, the Amazing Amarettos, welcomes the newest addition to our tag division, The Bolts!
# (-) Ions #
The song is new, but the man jumping through the curtain to a shower of boos is not. Walt Whezl soaks them in with a smile as he twirls around to introduce his latest… protégés.
Howley: I don’t know why you’d boo someone who’s given you the gift of Lord Colossus, let alone a new tag team to boot!
Muninn takes a single step through the curtain and stands, inflating his chest in an obvious attempt to look as large as possible. Whezl proudly points back to his talent, but-
Moss: There goes Muninn!
The first Bolt flies forward after Huginn attempted to storm through the curtain, plowing into his partner who was still standing right in front of it trying to look as menacing as possible.
Moss: Huginn just sent Muninn straight into Whezl!
Whezl catches Muninn without losing his own footing, and shoves him back, sending him flying back into Huginn.
Moss: Muninn didn’t even make Walt budge, and Whezl just sent him back into Huginn who just got sent flying back through the curtain!
Howley: What in the…
Huginn comes scampering back out onto the ramp, dusting himself off. He joins Muninn, the two exchange suddenly serious head nods, and storm down the ramp with Whezl behind them shouting insults at the two.
Robbins: … finally… making their way to the ring, at a combined weight of four hundred pounds, soaking wet… THE BOLTS!
# Abracadabara #
KA-BOOM! Twin explosions create two rising plumes of purple smoke, and the Amazing Amarettos, Carlo and Gomez, “magically” appear on the stage. They regale the crowd as they flourish their capes, twirl their wands, and tip their top hats to the audience in perfect coordination with each other. The Classic fans respond with boos.
Moss: Here comes the magic, T-bird!
Howley: I don’t understand these fans!
Their lovely assistant Suzie steps out through the entry-way in a rather normal, non-magical fashion, and her eyes roll back as she holds out her arms in a half-assed show of presentation. The brothers pose with absolute pomp and majesty before all three make their way down to the ring.
Moss: Whezl hasn’t been able to take his eyes off Suzie since she stepped onto the ramp.
Howley: Do I hear jealousy?
The Amarettos perform all manner of magic tricks as they walk down the ramp, conjuring up all manner of cards, quarters, scarves, confetti, pigeons, and flower bouquets seemingly out of thin air.
Robbins: Introducing their opponents… at a combined weight of four hundred and eighty pounds… The Amazing Amarettos!
Carlo and Gomez climb up to the ring from opposite corners and converge at the center of the apron, where they take Suzie by either hand and delicately “levitate” her off the floor, over the ropes, and into the ring before stepping through the ropes themselves. With all three in the ring, they again pose majestically for the audience.
Howley: LET’S GOOOO!
Felipe Chicoda checks in with both teams. Huginn and Carlo decide to start for their respective teams, as their counterparts step onto the ring apron.
DING! DING! DING!
Moss: Carlo and Huginn kick off the action as they both meet in the middle of the ring, locking up! Carlo, definitely not used to being the larger of the two in a grapple, exerts his physical advantage transitioning effortlessly into a side headlock.
Huginn starts frantically stomping his feet while flailing his open hands trying to slap Carlo off of him, but the Amaretto just smiles for the crowd and flips Huginn over, slamming him down to the mat. Huginn bounces two thirds of the way across the ring ultimately grabbing at his back in agony.
Moss: The Evil Abra looks in control early! He stalks Huginn who’s slowly getting to his feet.
Howley: You just wait, Moss!
Moss: Carlo raises his hand looking to grapple Huginn again, but he decides to bolt back toward his corner instead.
Howley: You’re proud of that one, aren’t you?
Moss: It may or may not have struck me as funny, yes.
Howley: Lord, Colossus, save me.
Just before Huginn can make it back for the tag, a sprinting Carlo catches up and leaps, delivering a corner body splash from behind.
Howley: Foul play by the clearly EVIL Amaretto, with that corner splash from behind sending Huginn face first into the top turnbuckle!
Moss: You could say he was huggin’ it!
Howley: Please stop. Oh and to make matters worse, it looked like Huginn tried to stop himself from hitting the turnbuckles so hard by grabbing the ropes, but missed and ended up knocking Muninn off the apron!
Moss: Right, you are, Thunderbird. Looks like there’s some confusion in The Bolts’ corner about that, too! Carlos just flipped Huginn around and started to throw some backhands and Walt Whezl began throwing a fit. He’s screaming at Felipe Chicoda, claiming that when Huginn knocked Muninn off the apron it was actually a legal tag!
While Chicoda argues with Whezl, the crafty manager can be seen fiddling with his cane and casually pointing it toward Carlo, who’s off to Chicoda’s side.
Moss: I don’t think Felipe can see Walt’s cane from that angle. I don’t like this!
Howley: Maybe Walt’s just trying to show the Amarettos a new trick?
As Walt lines up the cane, Suzie seductively approaches the manager. Whezl quickly turns feverish in his demeanor, sweating profusely at the sight of the Amarettos’ manager.
Moss: Looks like Chicoda is conceding! Muninn is the legal man!
Carlo, thinking quick, turns back and races to his corner to tag in Gomez. Muninn slides into the ring while Chicoda instructs Huginn to exit through the ropes.
Howley: Gomez is in, but he’s taking precaution approaching the Bolts’ corner with all the commotion!
Just as Huginn exits the ring, Muninn sneaks around Gomez, who is trying to tell Suzie to get back to their corner.
Moss: Looks like Suzie is giving Walt a kiss goodbye!
Just as Suzie leans forward to plant a kiss on Whezl’s cheek, she casually pushes his cane just a bit. Once the kiss lands, Walt’s cane pops.
Moss: Black mist! It hit Muninn in the face! Gomez turns around to see his opponent blinded. He kicks him in the midsection. DDT!
Gomez runs back and tags Carlo back in. Carlo runs to the opposite corner and sends Huginn flying off the apron with a strong right hand. Gomez and Carlo jump up on opposing turnbuckles as Muninn rolls over, in the middle of the ring, on his back.
Howley: OH NO!
Moss: The Amazing Amarettos are doing their thing on the top ropes of opposite corners… they both take flight! THE AMAZING ATOM SMASHER!
Carlo makes the pin as Gomez leaves the ring, waving and bowing to the crowd as he walks up the ramp.
Felipe drops for the count.
DING! DING! DING!!!
Robbins: Your winners, by pinfall… THE AMAZINGGGGGG AAAAAMAAAAAAAAREEETTOOOOOOOS!!!
Moss: What a match! But what about Whezl, huh, T-bird?
Howley: I remember being that nervous around girls… when I was in middle school! Unacceptable! Especially for the type of talent he’s got in The Bolts!