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TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS: The Amazing Amarettos (C) vs REPOSSESSED

June 23, 2022 by mikey

We come back to ringside where Harold Robbins is standing alongside Kevin Clady for our next match before we go to commentary.

Moss: Here we go, folks! After winning the Tag Team Championship for a second time, the Amazing Amarettos look to fend off another pair of challengers in Gnash and Haul!

Howley: We saw Bobby Dean go at it with King Kong Frank, costing them this shot on route tot their Premier American Championship bout moments ago…but now, all eyes are on Repossessed as they go for chrome here at ClassicMania!

Robbins: Ladies and gentlemen, the following tag team bout is scheduled for one fall and it is for the Tag Team Championship! Introducing first, the challengers…

“Surprise! You’re Dead” by Faith No More blares through the PA, prompting Gnash to come barreling through the curtain and ricocheting like a pinball off the guardrails as he makes his way to the ring as Haul follows close behind stoically walking with his hooded robe pulled over his eyes as his brother continues to rattle the railings and threaten the crowd.

Robbins: Coming to the ring from Tasmania, Australia, at a combined weight of 495 pounds…the team of Gnash and Haul…REEEEPOSSEEEESSSSSEEEEED!

Finally after getting the desired amount of attention from the audience, Gnash rolls into the ring as his brother climbs the steps and walks calmly up to their corner on the apron as Gnash hits the ropes in the ring, running them like a madman before finally stopping and shaking the ropes in his corner.

Moss: Gnash and Haul look ready to take on the Amarettos tonight, could they see the titles come into their possession tonight?

Howley: There’s a reason the champs call themselves Amazing, Pat!

Robbins: And their opponents…

KA-BOOM!

Twin explosions create twin rising plumes of purple smoke, and the Amazing Amarettos, Carlo and Gomez, “magically” appear on the stage. They regale the crowd as they flourish their capes, twirl their wands, and tip their top hats to the audience in perfectly coordination with each other. Their lovely assistant Suzie steps out through the entry-way in a rather normal, non-magical fashion, and her eyes roll back as she holds out her arms in a half-assed show of presentation. The brothers pose with absolute pomp and majesty before all three make their way down to the ring.

Robbins: Making their way to the ring from Las Vegas, Nevada, at a combined weight of 480 pounds, the team of Carlo and Gomez…THE AMAAAAZIIIIIING AMAREEEETTOOOOOOS!

The Amarettos perform all manner of magic tricks as they walk down the ramp, conjuring up all manner of cards, quarters, scarves, confetti, pigeons, and flower bouquets seemingly out of thin air. Carlo and Gomez climb up to the ring from opposite corners and converge at the center of the apron, where they take Suzie by either hand and delicately “levitate” her off the floor, over the ropes, and into the ring before stepping through the ropes themselves. With all three in the ring, they again pose majestically for the audience.

Moss: And here we have the champs, looking ready to take on the challenge here tonight!

Howley: It’s a big night, Pat, and a chance for the champs to pull off the most AMAZING act yet!

DING! DING!

The bell rings and Repossessed immediately go on the offensive, blindsiding the champs! Clady does everything he can to maintain order, finally getting just Carlo and Gnash in the ring to officially start things off. Gnash lays in some heavy-handed punches and kicks, trying to wear the magician down so he can send him to the ropes…but Carlo ducks a clothesline attempt, using the momentum to his advantage to connect with a big boot that brings Gnash down hard to the canvas with a thud!

Carlo is picking up steam here as he goes for a tag to Gomez…but Gnash grabs his ankle, dropping him to the canvas as well to stop him in his tracks! Gnash gets back to his feet, going back to work on the magician with some hard stomps to the back before tagging in Haul. The pair bring Carlo back to his feet, laying in some nasty double-team offense on Carlo before sending him to the ropes…and connecting with a double clothesline!

Moss: Oh man, that looked especially painful for Carlo!

Howley: I think Gnash and Haul are looking to really make a statement against the champs, one that’s punctuated with a title win!

Gnash heads back to the apron as Haul continues the attack, looking to find just the right weak spot to break down on the magician with some hard lefts and rights…but Carlo manages to dodge the last of them! Carlo starts to fight back, sending Haul to the corner…and connecting with a corner splash! Haul looks a little wobbly coming out of the corner as Carlo continues to wear him down, bringing him to the canvas with a chop block…and then rushing to the corner to make the tag to Gomez!

Gomez is coming in hot as he goes after Haul, unleashing a flurry of offense on the challenger that culminates in a dropkick that sends Haul over the top rope to the outside! Gomez poses, showing his might before taking his leave from the ring…where Gnash meets him with a hard lariat, spinning him around before he hits the floor! Haul is back to his feet now, and the two continue an assault on Gomez as the ref admonishes them for it…only for Carlo to come running to the aid of Gomez! Things have devolved into chaos as the four go at it, forcing the ref to begin a count to try and maintain order!

ONE…

TWO…

THREE…

The two teams pay no mind to the count as they continue, with Gnash sending Carlo into the steel steps as Gomez sends Haul back into the ring to finally break the count! Gomez goes back in himself, only to be met with a forearm smash by Haul that really rocks the magician for a loop. Haul takes advantage of the situation with some more forearms, this time focusing on the back before sending Gomez to the corner. Haul charges at full speed toward the magician…but Gomez dodges the attack at the last second, forcing Haul to collide with the turnbuckle!

Moss: What a close encounter there for Gomez, who just narrowly avoids disaster from Haul!

Howley: Just a champ doing AMAZING champ things, Pat! If he keeps this up they’ll be leaving Motor City with a stunned audience and the belts around their waist!

With Haul down and out in the corner, Gomez goes for a cover off a roll-up!

ONE!

TWO!

NO!

Haul kicks out, much to the surprise of the champion as Gomez seeks to tag Carlo back in…but Carlo is still out after being slammed onto the steel steps earlier! Gnash is laughing at the champ from the corner, calling for Haul to tag him back in so they can finish what they started here. Tag to Gnash from Haul now, and the pair look to hit him with The Hook…but Gomez manages to slip out just in time, sending Gnash to the corner before turning back to see who he can ask for help…

…revealing only Suzie. Sweet, sweet Suzie.

Gomez calls to Suzie for help, to try and revive Carlo…or at least, for something to assist him in this moment of peril.

She turns toward the other magician…and grabs the hat. She reaches in, searching for something…and then pulls out…

A middle finger to Gomez.

The crowd is shocked, stunned even as Suzie proceeds to leave the ringside area. Gomez is dejected by this turn of events, but he doesn’t get much time to grieve as Gnash and Haul once again set him up, this time connecting with The Hook! The double atomic drop combo breaks him down as Gnash slides between his legs, hoisting him into an electric chair position! He falls, bringing Gomez down with him…and Haul connects with a neckbreaker along the way for extra damage! Carlo is still out cold as Gnash goes for the cover!

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

DING! DING! DING!

Robbins: Ladies and gentlemen, your winners via pinfall, AND NEW Tag Team Champions…REEEEEPOOOOOSSESSSSSEEEEEED!

The crowd are still stunned, but still take some time to jeer the new champions as Clady presents the titles to them before raising their arms in victory.

Moss: Wow a strange turn of events here tonight, folks! We have NEW Tag Team Champions, and the assistant of the Amazing Amarettos has turned her back on the magicians here tonight!

Howley: It’s the end of an era, Pat! I’m gonna go cry about it at home tonight, but right now all eyes are on the new Tag Team Champions in Repossessed!

Moss: What a match this was, folks…and we still have our main event coming up for the REAL World’s Title, as Shujin Yama challenges Vito Valentino!

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