Robbins: The following tag team match is an exhibition, scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…
The familiar guitar licks and drum beats to “Nothin’ But a Good Time” by Poison hit your eardrums and from the back bounds Bowie Abrams and Bradlee Nelson in matching long tights and miles-wide smiles.
Robbins: Surfing their way in from Pocatella, Idaho, at a combined weight of 417 pounds, the team of Bowie Abrams and Bradlee Nelson…SURFER EXPRESS BRO!
They play to the studio audience, getting them into the show as they make their way to the ring. Once they’re between the ropes, they’ll flex and pose a bit for the laaaaadies as they await their opponents.
Robbins: And their opponents…
The opening roar of “Sirius” by the Alan Parsons Project begins to hum across the Classic Studio. The crowd begins to rise up on their feet cheering as a fog machine does its job pumping out a white smoke that fills the entrance area.
DUN DUN DUN, DUN DUN DUH
A white strobe begins to flicker through the thick fog as Rush Starling walks out to the roar of the fans in attendance. He doesn’t waste time and marches towards the ring slapping hands with fans and making sure to grab a fan sign of support to wave, rallying the crowd.
Robbins: Introducing first, weighing in at 240 pounds he hails from Allentown, Pennsylvania. This is Rush Starling!
Rush sprints up the steps, slips through the ropes, and immediately mounts the turnbuckle pumping up the crowd. He points to the fans closest by giving them warm smiles before he steps down and faces the referee to be checked for combat.
Robbins: And his tag team partner…
The fans in the Gund Arena know what’s coming, and every last one of them is here for it! They’re on their feet adding their own honks to the cacophony!
#Waiting for the Bus#
ZZ Top drowns out the honking as The Big Greyhound joyfully pulls out of the station and into the ringside area! He takes a lap around the ring, slapping hands with front-row fans before rolling under the bottom rope and into the ring!
Robbins: Pulling in at a whopping 400 pounds, he is the Big Greyhound…DOUBLE DECKER!
Once inside the ring and back up to his feet, Double Decker climbs the turnbuckle with the grace of a Light Heavyweight and makes the internationally accepted hand-signal for “honk” and the crowd is happy to acquiesce to his request!
And the Big Greyhound replies in kind!
Double Decker: HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK!!!
Decker hops down from the turnbuckle like the spry public transit vehicle that he is and turns to face his opponent. The referee makes a few last moment instructions and then steps out of the way, signaling for the bell!
DING DING DING!
Starling and Bowie start things off, trading holds until Starling takes Abrams down with a snapmare followed by a kick to the back! Starling looks to stay firmly in control with a chinlock, but Bowie is quick to escape as he gets to his feet, and we have ourselves a standoff to the delight of the crowd!
Moss: The fans in the Gund are thrilled after that display of athleticism!
Howley: True, but you gotta wonder how these fans are gonna feel when things start getting rough around the edges!
Starling and Bowie go to lock up, only for Bowie to send Starling to the ropes, connecting with a lovely dropkick on the rebound! The crowd is impressed with the maneuver as Starling gets back to his feet, quickly thinking of a new strategy as he shoots for a single-leg takedown–but Bowie dodges it, keeping Rush on the canvas as he leaps over for a tag to Bradlee!
Nelson comes in like a lightning bolt, but Starling catches him with a powerslam! The crowd shows some enthusiasm for the move, and Rush picks up on this as he motions toward the Big Greyhound, sending the crowd into an uproar as he offers a tag to the big man.
Moss: Oh boy, these fans are ready for some Double Decker action!
Howley: I told you things would get rough!
Starling makes the tag, and Double Decker is raring to go as Bradlee gets back to his feet, only to get dropped with a clothesline by the Big Greyhouse! Bradlee took that one hard as he slowly stands back up, rushing over to make a tag to Bowie. The two try to match up to the sheer size and strength of Double Decker using their agility, but not even a gazelle stands a chance if it runs in front of a Bus!
Decker shoves Bradlee clear into the ropes, and Nelson makes an escape as the big man turns his attention to Bowie–who catches him by surprise with a flurry of offense, culminating in a dropkick that forces Double Decker into the ropes! Bowie runs to the ropes, looking for a bit of momentum as he charges at the Big Greyhound–who pulls the top rope down, sending Bowie over and to the outside!
Moss: Bowie takes a tumble out to ringside courtesy of Double Decker!
Howley: That’s gotta be a disqualification, surely?
Moss: It’s not, and don’t call me–
Howley: Don’t you DARE start that, Moss!
The crowd shows their love for Double Decker as Surfer Express Bro get back to their feet, giving each other a quick wellness check before Bowie slides back into the ring. He looks for some sort of advantage against the much-bigger Decker, focusing on some quick strikes to the legs to keep the Big Greyhound grounded.
Decker takes a knee, offering Bowie the opening he needs as he hits the ropes–RUNNING RIGHT INTO A SHOULDER TACKLE! Decker goes for the cover, could this be it?
Bradlee runs in, breaking up the count with a kick to Decker!
Moss: Nelson with the save to keep his team in this one!
Howley: These two need to really rethink their strategy if they’re gonna take this win!
Things quickly turn into chaos as Starling rushes into the ring, with he and Nelson brawling back and forth! The ref is trying hard as he can to maintain control as Decker brings Bowie back to his feet, hoisting him up on his shoulders! NO! Bradlee sends Starling right into the Big Greyhound with an Irish whip, forcing the big man to drop Bowie to the canvas instead!
Decker turns his attention to what’s happened behind him, as Bradlee rolls out of the ring. Looking confused, he has a heart to heart with his tag partner as Starling explains the minor incident that took place. With a nod of understanding, Decker looks back to a returning Bowie as Starling heads back to the apron. Decker makes the tag to Starling, who gets an opening with some quick strikes on Bowie–who lands a dropkick on Starling! He’s got his eye on the turnbuckle as he climbs up!
A lot of impact on that frog splash! Bowie makes the cover!
Decker tries to hop in, but gets cut off by a dropkick from Nelson before he can break the pinfall up!
DING DING DING!
Robbins: Here are your winners, Bowie Abrams and Bradlee Nelson…SURFER EXPRESS BRO!