“Personal Jesus” by Depeche Mode comes on and out strolls the self proclaimed Saint of Classic Wrestling.
Howley: Ok now we’re talking!
Robbins: Ladies and gentleme n it’s time for our MAIN EVENT! Hailing from right here in Cleveland, Ohio… JOHNNY SAINT NELSON
Moss: Johnny Saint Nelson has been on a tear in Classic Wrestling since he got here, advancing all the way to the semi finals of the REAL Worlds Championship tournament, and then defeating Double Decker at Slam-A-Thon!
Howley: He’s got to be on a shortlist of top contenders here in Classic for Alex Bruder’s championship!
He saunters out to the ring counting the sinners along the way. There are many more of them than you or I would think. JSN tells a couple to give Hail JSN’s tonight for their transgressions.
Robbins: And his opponent..
I WANNA ROCK! ROCK!
The fans get on their feet and dance along.
Rikki Roxx struts into the arena like only he can. Bandana wrapped around his head and long flowing blond hair behind him. He’s got the stiff upper lip going below his mirrored aviator sunglasses as he swaggers his way to the ring.
Moss: Easily a fan favorite here in Cleveland!
Howley: He’s not even the hometown guy!
Roxx provocatively enters through the ropes, looking above his aviators pushed down to the end of his nose and shooting the ladies a wink before going into the ring with metal horns high into the air.
Robbins: Coming to the ring from Detroit Rock City, this is RIKKI ROXX!
He parades around and poses for the crowd, soaking in the energy as he awaits.
The bell rings, and Roxx stands perfectly still, letting the religious zealot fire off a few verbal volleys without giving him the satisfaction of a response. Seconds pass, and the grinning Johnny Saint Nelson takes the center of the ring, calling Rikki forward, questioning his faith and as well as his manhood.
Eventually Rikki comes forward and reaches a hand in the sky.
Moss: The old test of strength!
Howley: He’s pretty confident, even for a rockstar!
JSN takes a look and shakes his head, moving back to his corner. He waves Rikki off. Fans in the studio react with loud jeers towards JSN. Rikki Roxx doesn’t take the chance to attack JSN from behind, instead waiting for him to turn back around. Rikki runs towards the corner where JSN is, but the Saint is able to stick his torso between the ropes, making the referee jump inbetween them and break it up. A frustrated Roxx readjusts his headband and moves back towards the middle of the ring. As soon as the referee moves, JSN now runs at Rikkis and with both arms above his head for an ax handle smash, but Roxx telegraphs it, turns around and sends a clothesline right into the gut of Johnny. The Saint flips over and land on his backside, surprised.
Moss: It’s like he had eyes in the back of his head Thunderbird!
Howley: Ring awareness 101, Always know where your opponent is, and keep them in your peripherals anytime you can’t look right at them!
Roxx is right back on his opponent, picking JSN up and sending him off the ropes. Nelson stops the rebound, by hooking his top arms over the top rope. As Rikki runs at JSN, he’s able to duck and lift the Rockstar up and over the top rope. Rikki slams down onto the concrete floor below. The fans boo at JSN as Rikki skids to stop right at their feet.
Moss: JSN now encouraging the referee to count as fast as he can, or he’s going to have to answer to a higher power!
Howley: I’m not sure that’s how that works.
Roxx is able to make it back in the ring at about the seven count but he’s obviously worse for wear after that concrete tumble. JSN wastes no time and attacks with stomps as soon as he slides into the ring. When Roxx tries to power up through the attack, the forearms start on the back from the Saint.
JSN grabs Roxx by the head and slams it into his knee. Roxx falls back onto the mat holding his nose with both hands. JSN meanwhile peels off an elbow pad before lining up the shot. He jumps high into the air and lands right onto the chest/neck area of Rikki Roxx with the point of that elbow.
Howley: That could crush his throat MOSS! Hard to breath with an elbow in your neck!
JSN moves and grabs hold of Roxx’s left boot, steps one leg over, then twists all the way around. He keeps the Spinning Toe Hold applied for a while, and Rikki grimaces in pain. The fans are trying to clap in unison and cheer on their hero!
RIK-KEE RIK-KEE RIK-KEE!
Howley: Another dreaded move here from JSN, he’s got a sound strategy here, trying to keep the quicker Roxx grounded and in pain.
Moss: All of that pressure on the calf, ankle, and knee of Rikki Roxx now!
As the fans get louder, and Roxx starts pounding on the mat with one hand trying to will himself out, JSN goes to twist around again to get a better grip. Rikki sees his chance, and puts one foot on the rear end of JSN and pushes him off. The Saint goes face first into a turnbuckle pad before staggering out of the corner backwards.
Moss: Uh Oh, JSN on spaghetti legs right now!
Howley: I’m not sure Roxx is doing much better on that leg either!
Both men find each other up and in the middle of the ring and begin to trade blows back and forth. Finally Roxx is able to duck one and when the momentum carries JSN around, he plants both of his feet into the chest of JSN knocking him to the ground.
Moss: Big move by Rikki Roxx with that dropkick but he’s holding his ankle right away!
Roxx gets back up, favoring his hurt ankle. He grabs JSN by the hair and calls for the end. Putting the rock symbol high into the air.
As JSN is being pulled up, he reaches his knees and instinctually brings his arm up in between the legs of Roxx!
Moss: OH LOW BLOW BY JSN AND…and…
Howley: And it has no effect!
Even the official jumps, thinking the move caught Roxx in the nether regions. Rikki meanwhile smiles down at JSN as The Saint holds his arm in pain. Rikki reaches into his pants and pulls out a steel athletic cup. He tosses it outside the ring.
Roxx: With as many groupies as I encounter, I always carry protection!
The referee just shrugs. Roxx picks up JSN and hooks him under his arm. He lifts, struggling at first and then willing himself the strength to do it.
Howley: LOVE ON THE ROXX!!
Moss: He hit the brainbuster!
Rikki kips up from the mat as the fans are in a fever pitch!
He falls ontop of JSN and goes for the cover!
The bell rings and Roxx rolls off of the Saint. The referee holds his hand up in the air in victory ss his theme song plays once again!
Moss: What a match and what a way to cap off another great episode of Classic Wrestling on RBTV!
Howley: Rikki Roxx gets a HUGE win here over Johnny Saint Nelson, surprising everyone in the building, even me MOSS! I won’t lie about it.
Moss: It is a big win and one that’s gotta make guys like Alex Bruder and Freddie Kilgore nervous! We’ve got some real contenders here in Classic Wrestling!
Inside the ring Rikki is celebrating in the corner. Standing on the second rope. On the other side of the ring JSN is in the face of the referee explaining he kicked out on time! No such luck as the official shakes his head.
Moss: Ladies and Gentlemen, that’s going to wrap it up for us here at Classic Wrestling this week, make sure to tune in next time when we see for the VERY FIRST TIME, the Premier American Champion, Freddy Kilgore, defending his Championship against Shujin Yama! As well as King Kong Frank vs Gordy Lovett, one on one!
Howley: I can’t wait, can we just do both matches right now!?
Moss: It’s going to be another CLASSIC night of Wrestling action! For Joel “Thunderbird” Howley! I’m Patrick Moss! Thanks for watching folks and have a great night!