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Randall Schwartz vs Lunchbox Larry

April 15, 2022 by mikey

We’re back at ringside for what could well be a cracker of a match, as we see Randall Schwartz and Lunchbox Larry already in the ring, the latter having Bobby Dean at ringside keeping a watchful eye as we get the ring introductions from Harold Robbins.

Robbins: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Hollywood, and weighing in tonight at 176 pounds…RANDALL SCHWAAAARTZ!

The crowd boos as Randall taunts them, turning his attention back to Larry with a sneer.

Robbins: And his opponent, from Westbrook, Maine, weighing in at 277 pounds…LUNCHBOOOOOX LAAAARRY!

The crowd cheers for Larry, but he is soon blindsided by Randall who comes in hot with a right hand! Spencer Fuller manages to get control of things before calling for the bell!

DING! DING! DING!

Randall goes right back on the attack with some hard kicks to Larry, really looking to make an example out of him as he sends the big man toward the corner before charging at full speed…only for Larry to dodge it at the last second! The momentum sends Randall crashing into the turnbuckle with a thud!

Moss: Randall trying to get the jump on Larry there, but to no avail!

Howley: I swear, Randall didn’t learn a THING from Gnash trying this a few weeks ago!

We see Bobby having a laugh about this at ringside, which infuriates Randall…and the slight distraction is enough for Larry to get the upper hand! He wears Randall down with some lefts and rights, before sending Schwartz to the ropes! Clothesline by Larry, and Randall goes down hard to the canvas! Now it’s Larry on the attack, as he stomps away at Randall to wear the Entertainer down before calling for Lunchtime–but NO! Randall hastily rolls out of the ring to avoid disaster!

Moss: Randall getting the heck out of Dodge there, Howley!

Howley: That’s the genius at work there, Moss. Randall needs a breather and a chance to regroup!

Randall stares down Bobby Dean, jawjacking the Beautiful One as Larry exits the ring…but Randall catches him by surprise, sending Larry into the steel steps with an Irish whip! The crowd boos the move, something Randall relishes in as he goes right back to badmouthing Bobby as Fuller begins the count.

ONE…

TWO…

This allows Larry to get back to his feet, spinning the Entertainer around before delivering a big right hand that makes Bobby proud! The impact sends Randall flying backward, right into the arms of Bobby as Spencer continues.

THREE…

FOUR…

Bobby shoves Randall back toward Larry, who sends the man from Hollywood back into the ring. As Larry slides back into the ring, we notice that Bobby has something in his hand that he takes great delight in. A slip of paper.

Moss: Wait a minute, is that…?

Howley: That’s Randall’s wrestling license! That fiend Bobby Dean has done it again!

Randall is slow to his feet, but notices Bobby holding his license…which angers the Entertainer, shouting at Bobby to hand the paper back. Bobby refuses with a big grin as he tears the license into pieces, infuriating Randall to the point where he shouts at Fuller to eject Bobby from ringside! Fuller doesn’t fully understand what Bobby has done wrong, which only makes Randall more and more angry…and the Entertainer has had enough! He shoves Fuller, who admonishes him with a warning…and that only drives Randall to the point of knocking him down to the canvas! Larry is in shock at this turn of events, as Fuller calls for the bell!

Moss: Wait, what just happened here!?

Howley: Randall got pushed to the point of no return here, and struck a referee in his anger! You just don’t DO that, Moss!

DING! DING! DING!

Robbins: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner as a result of a disqualification…LUNCHBOX LARRY!

The crowd cheer for Larry’s big albeit odd win here tonight, as Bobby steps in to celebrate. Randall is still incensed over the whole ordeal, shoving both Larry and Bobby until the pair respond with a pair of right hands right to the noggin! Randall drops down, much to the delight of the crowd as we cut back to commentary!

Moss: Folks, this match took a strange turn to say the least. We know that Randall Schwartz has been obsessed with maintaining his wrestler’s license, but to go to these lengths about it is uncalled for!

Howley: I’ll tell you what’s uncalled for, Patrick…Bobby Dean ripping up the man’s license! Randall’s been on edge for months, and this might’ve been the last straw!

Moss: Folks, we’re going to get away from all this mess, and come back to you with more Classic action shortly!

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