A particularly celebratory GONG at that. One that heralds the cool breeze of spring. A new season; a new dawn!
There it is again. That beacon of hope. That promise of tomorrow! Oh, what a sweet, melodious GONG!
Once more with feeling. The world rejoices! For this particular GONG has a little more oomph in it. A quaking sensation that would be frightening were it not so… so…
The Japanese National Anthem interrupts the unquestionable, and completely logical adoration.
Otto Price stands on the stage, with his weapon of choice – a Classic Wrestling-branded microphone – at the ready.
Otto Price: Ladies and gentlemen, at this time, please welcome your NEEEEEEEEW Real Worlds Champion… SHUUUUUJIN YAAAAMAAAAA.
Sensei Abe Lincoln is there first, waving the Japanese flag as ever. But a shadow soon falls over the lecherous villain as the massive champion steps out in front. Shujin Yama looks bigger than usual… perhaps having packed on a few extra pounds after celebrating his win. Either way, there on his shoulder – too small to wrap around his waist – is the grandest prize in all of Classic Wrestling: The Real Worlds Championship.
The Classic fans don’t like it one bit. They shower the champion with boos, as Yama lifts a tree trunk leg high into the air and slams it down onto the ground. He lets out an indecipherable bellow, and as he strides his way to the ring – the ground quaking with each step – the audience begins showering him with trash, food, and liquid that one can only hope is soda or beer. Shujin Yama pays it no mind. Proudly, he climbs the steps. Sensei Lincoln scrambles up onto the apron to hold the ropes open for him, getting there just in time for the champion to step through and take up court in his kingdom.
The camera catches a small box-like object, draped in a black sheet, that Lincoln seems to have left at ringside in the process.
Otto Price makes space for the gargantuan sumo, but is quickly shoved aside even further by Lincoln, who snatches the microphone from Price’s hand.
Sensei Lincoln: Today is not day for you, Otto-San. No! You can be excused.
Lincoln gestures for Otto to leave, and it kind of looks like Otto just can’t be bothered dealing with the sensei. Either that, or he doesn’t want a thing to do with the mass of humanity that Lincoln represents. As such, Otto Price leaves the ring to Lincoln and the champ.
Lincoln: Today is day for one man only! One myth! One legend! Today is day for Shujin Yama! The Oni of Oblivion! And… YOUR Real Worlds Champion!
There come the boos again, and Lincoln turns his attention directly to the crowd.
Lincoln: Why so unhappy? Did Shujin Yama not tell you this would be so? Did Shujin Yama not swear that Vito Valentino would crumble, just like his precious MECCA? Have ignorant Americans not yet realised that Shujin Yama is man of his word? Man of honor? Defined by him, not by you. You can boo all you want, but Shujin Yama represents what Classic Wrestling has been missing! Champion who represents WHOLE world!
Cue more hatred. Lincoln seems to revel in it, but even his giddy glee subsides a little, just as a murmured hush falls over the crowd, as the colossus himself reaches out a meaty arm towards the sensei. The microphone is passed.
Three steps, Yama takes, and he is leaning in the ropes, a solemn, considered look in his terrible eyes.
Shujin Yama: I hear you.
The quiet deepens, becoming a confused silence.
Yama: I hear each and every one of you, and in this moment – MY moment – all I ask of you is that you take the time to ‘hear’ me too. Can you offer me that?
Strangely, the Classic audience can.
Yama nods as the pointed heckling remains dulled. He bows his head, ever-so-slightly.
Lincoln eyes the crowd, expecting that to get another rise out of them, but for the most part, the fans remain relatively muted.
Yama: As I said, I hear you, and I want to say something that you might not expect. I am sorry.
Noise flitters its way around the arena again, still quiet, but not mad. The fans don’t quite know how to react.
Yama: It wasn’t easy to wrest this championship away from Vito Valentino – I’ll give the guy that much. And you deserve better! I wasn’t here on the last show. I – the new champion – let you all down! I should be better than that! I know that you want a champion who will show up and show out! And so for that… I am sorry.
He looks out to the crowd once more, forlorn.
And then he smiles. Big, wide, and wicked.
Yama: I’m sorry to be the one to tell you dolts that sometimes YOU DON’T GET WHAT YOU WANT!!! No, my Classic idiot friends – sometimes the world just takes a giant dump on every one of your little hopes and dreams! Sometimes… sometimes you are left with no other option but to scratch and claw your way out of whatever hole the world wants to put you in, and TAKE what you want! What you deserve! I DID THAT! Vito Valentino didn’t! None of you did either! ME! I did it, and I DESERVE THIS!
He holds the Real Worlds Championship jigh above his head and the Classic fans erupt once more in repulsion.
Yama: Don’t act like it isn’t true! What YOU want doesn’t matter; what you deserve doesn’t matter, because I MAKE MY OWN DREAMS COME TRUE! I, once again, am the living embodiment of the American spirit! I am what you wish you were, and there isn’t a damn thing that you, Vito, or anyone else in the back can do about it! This is, quite literally–
He looks lovingly at the championship.
Yama: –MY WORLD now!
Lincoln applauds in the background, and frantically waves the Japanese flag with pride. Yama turns his head towards him, and gives a slight nod. Lincoln seems to recognise what this means and immediately jumps into action. He leaves the ring and makes his way over to the sheet-covered box that had been left at ringside. He struggles with it, but manages to slide it into the ring – pushing up the bottom rope to make room for it.
Yama: And as they say, the proof is in the pudding. One week without YOUR champion and the vermin and carrion that make up the rest of this roster can’t even keep our spot on a Monday Night? Displaced by a dog show of all things? What do we think of that, Abe?
The sensei slinks back to Yama’s side and leans into the microphone.
Lincoln: I always thought dog show was every night here, mmhmm.
Yama: You’re not far wrong. Because this here championship is what separates Shujin Yama from the rest of the mangy mutts that Classic has to offer! This right here, makes me ‘Best in Show’! And that right there…
He points to where the mystery box sits.
Yama: Show ’em, Abe.
Sensei Lincoln rips back the curtain and reveals…
A small dog?
A wire fox terrier, to be precise.
Lincoln unlocks the cage that the dog is in, and scoops the pup up to bring over towards Shujin Yama.
Yama: I’d like to introduce you all to ‘Princess Butter-Pup’, and last night, she won ‘Best in Show’ too. And here, today, she now belongs to me. And I get to decide what to do with her, don’t I ‘Princess’?
Mockingly, he scratches the dog behind the ear. The canine can’t tell Yama’s intentions, but to the Classic fans, there’s something decidedly creepy about the champagne actions.
Yama: Oh, yes I do.
He coos at her.
Yama: I get to decide if the ‘Princess’ lives the rest of her life like a queen, or…
His face darkens. Shujin Yama turns from the puppy and stares directly down the hard camera.
Yama: …Or I get to decide if tomorrow, Princess Butter-Pup finds her way out to the farm that your parents told you that your own dogs went to, when you were a naive little brat. I get to decide, if Princess Butter-Pup gets to keep EXISTING in MY WORLD.
He turns back to the sensei and the dog.
Yama: Take her away.
Lincoln dutifully obliges, returning the dog to her cage.
Yama: Do you all get the picture? This is Shujin Yama’s world now, and it is at my mercy as to whether you even get to exist in it. And if any of you seek to try to displace me again… well…
The cover is thrown back over the cage of Princess Butter-Pup, and the dog’s whimpers can clearly be heard from underneath.
Yama: …You’d do wise to remember the name, story, and short, short life… of Princess Butter-Pup.
With a loud THUD, the microphone drops to the mat, and Shujin Yama and Sensei Lincoln exit the ring, taking the seemingly doomed Princess Butter-Pup with them.