The camera heads on backstage to where a young woman wearing a tan coat, pants and hat straight out the Charles Boyle family collection is roaming the halls.
Dr. Graves: Joe? Joe! Come along! We have mysteries that must be unearthed and we can’t do that if you don’t follow along!
Behind her, the towering/lumbering form of one “Jurassic” Joe Stone walks behind her in his sabre-toothed tiger pelt and fur wrestling gear with massive wooden club in hand. Though he is not booked on tonight’s action-packed card, one can tell that they appear to have kept busy.
Joe Stone: I want go! Turnbuckles not chew themselves!
Dr. Graves: NO! BAD JOE! YOU LEAVE THEM AL… AH!
When she finally notices the camera on her, she jumps back, slightly startled. She takes a moment to compose herself and then turns Joe around to face the camera.
Dr. Graves: Oh, dear! My sincerest apologies, we didn’t see you there. My name is Doctor Selah Graves, world-renowned archaeologist with no less than THREE PhD’s… and a budding wrestling manager. And this is my colleague, Joe Stone. Say hello to the fans, Joe.
The Wrestler That Time Forgot says nothing and offers little more than a disinteresting grunt.
Dr. Graves: Never you mind, Joe, we will get back to your manners lessons later. Two weeks ago, Joe Stone picked up his first win and as such, we were given what I’m being told is the (air quotes) winner’s purse. While I was disappointed that the money was not given to us in an actual purse I could have used for my personal effects instead of this years-old satchel I was given in my travels across Europe… We were pleased with our earnings. Funding our research into the origins of professional wrestling is no easy task, but rest assured, we will see this through.
She pulls out a magnifying glass from said satchel and looks right into the camera.
Dr. Graves: Though Joe was not booked on tonight’s card for further funding, Joe and myself have been tasked with exploring a new mystery. My expertise doesn’t lie solely in wrestling cavemen… but also extends to other facets of our past. Who are we? Why are we here? Where did man originate from? I’ve even delved into investigations of the occult, the ethereal, the supernatural. And that is where my research takes us next…
She points to a poster on the nearby wall for Classic Wrestling’s upcoming In Your (Haunted) House special.
Dr. Graves: There, Joe. For us to accrue further funding, our research takes us here. I am vexed that Vito “Metro” Valentino and “All Business” Alex Bruder will be wrestling for the Real World’s Championship in an arena that seems to be teeming with ghostly energies or (more air quotes) “haunted” if you will. You and I, Joe…
She walks up to the poster, scanning it with the magnifying glass.
Dr. Graves: We will solve this mystery!
Joe Stone: RAAAAAHHHHHHHH! MOAR TURNBUCKLES!!!
Dr. Graves: …Oy.