“A Country Boy Can Survive” plays over the PA and Gordy Lovett comes through the crowd. Mouth full of chew, belly button sticking out under his shirt. He doesn’t use the stairs, instead he walks down the bleachers, causing fans to scatter as he swings his bull rope. He finally rolls into the ring.
Moss: Watch out for Gordy Lovett! He comes through the crowd with reckless abandon.
Howley: Are we insured against that?
Moss: Not sure they offer Lovett Coverage.
The Japanese National anthem begins playing as Sensei Abe Lincoln steps out onto the stage waving a Japanese flag. Shujin Yama follows behind in a sparkly white robe bedazzled in red diamantes.
Moss: Our newest champion here in Classic Wrestling! He’s going to be a tough challenge for any man!
They march down to the ring, Yama paying no attention to the crowd while Sensei Lincoln laughs and taunts them. Arriving at the ring, Sensei Lincoln walks up the steps and holds the middle rope down for Yama to step through. He bows in the center of the ring as Sensei Lincoln unhooks Yama’s robe. Once freed, the Premier American Championship is finally visible underneath the robe. It’s been modified to fit around his waist. Yama raises his left leg and drops into a dramatic sumo pose while shouting something incomprehensible to both English- and Japanese-speaking audiences.
The fans boo loudly as the anthem fades out. They can’t stand the duo in the ring right now.
Moss: The real question we all have is, can Freddy Kilgore go through with this match? Is he healthy enough? Furthermore, how is he going to bodyslam that man that’s standing right in front of us right now!?
The eardrum-splitting opening riff to Stranglehold gets the fans in attendance up out of their seats. A moment passes before a loud, gravelly voice can be heard in a hundred yards in every direction even over The Nooge’s seminal shred-fest.
“HOOOOOOOOOOO-AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!”
King Kong Frank emerges with a 10-foot steel chain wrapped around his neck and a wild look in his eyes! He hoots and hollers and gets everyone whipped into a frenzy before breaking off into the crowd and swinging his chain at anybody not smart enough to be out of his way!
Moss: Here comes King Kong Frank, His battles with Lord Colossus and Gordy Lovett have been tearing Classic Wrestling apart!
Howley: We know they’re going to match up at In Your Haunted House! It’s going to be a match built for Halloween, have you seen these two?
The Madman from the Smoky Mountains smiles his big ugly smile underneath his big ugly beard and he terrorizes his way toward the ringside area. Fans scatter in his wake as he steps over the ringside guardrail and stalks up the steps and into the ring, this time stepping over the top rope and then parading around the ring, swinging that chain, daring anybody to stop him.
Both Yama and Lovett exit the ring to avoid being hit with the chain.
“TAKE A RIDE ON THE WILLLLLD SIDE!”
The fans jump to their feet and cheer on Kilgore. He comes out and looks at the crowd who gets even louder. He then looks straight at Yama across the ring on the outside with Sensei Abe Lincoln. He makes a beeline for the both of them and rather than slide in the ring, runs around it.
Yama doesn’t see him coming but Lincoln does, he cries out. “Yama Watch Out!” As Kilgore rounds the last turnbuckle he’s got his sights set on taking down the big man. What he doesn’t see is Gordy Lovett ducking low, and when Kilgore comes around the corner, he’s clotheslined out of his boots by the crafty Texan.
Moss: OH! What a hit! He came from out of nowhere with that sawed-off clothesline!
Howley: Talk about a good tag team partner, I don’t think even Shujin knew what he was planning! Watch out! Here comes Frank!
Frank marches over in his bare feet. He reaches over the top rope, just as Gordy is pointing to his head about how smart he is, that’s exactly what Frank grabs. He pulls Gordy up onto the ring apron, and then into the ring. The official calls for the bell.
Moss: And we’re underway with our huge main event!
Gordy backs up into a corner but King Kong Frank runs full speed at him and drives a knee into his head. Lovett bounces off the mat but Frank is quick to pull him back up. Meanwhile, on the outside of the ring, Shujin Yama is on top of Freddy Kilgore, much to the chagrin of those in attendance.
Howley: In the ring, this match is happening; on the outside, Yama is putting a hurting on Freddy Kilgore!
Moss: What kind of champion is he!?
Howley: A smart one.
Frank tries to pick up Gordy for some sort of Hillbilly Suplex, but Gordy’s able to slip out and slap on a side headlock. He wrenches the head of the wildman, but Frank is able to pull himself out and put the unbooted foot right into the gut of his opponent. Now he is able to hit the suplex, which is ugly but effective.
Yama stands up now and walks over to the crowd. He slaps the soda out of a little kid’s hand and growls at him because he’s wearing a Freddy Kilgore shirt. The kid yells out for Freddy, and that’s all he needs to hear.
The “Feral One” hops up and shakes his head. He’s position behind Yama now and begins to assault the back and neck of the Champion. The fans go wild as Kilgore is able to finally get his hands on Yama. He boots the Premier in the gut and pumps his arms twice, he goes for it even though they’re on the outside.
Howley: HE’S GOING FOR THE BODYSLAM!
Kilgore tries to lift Yama off his feet, this time he’s able to get him off his feet but only a foot or so before they both crash to the ground. Kilgore reaches for his back and ribs right away.
Moss: Kilgore finally gets the upper hand outside the ring, but he’s still recovering from the attack weeks ago! Many were unsure if Kilgore would even be able to compete in this match, but he’s toughed it out and made it here tonight.
Kilgore starts to walk back towards his corner, but Abe Lincoln chop blocks him from behind, Yama is able to catch up and he Irish-whips Kilgore into the wooden ring steps. He hits so hard the ring steps break on impact. Kilgore writhes in pain on the ground. Finally, Yama walks over to his corner and climbs onto the ring apron.
Howley: Meanwhile inside the ring it looks as if King Kong Frank might be in some trouble there Moss!
Indeed Gordy Lovett had gained momentum during the outside scrum, and now we see in the ring the Texan drills Frank with a short-arm clothesline.
Moss: Those arms are like powderkegs!
Lovett slaps in a double underhook. He attempts to suplex Frank up and over. As he lifts, Frank kicks his legs and is able to shift his weight to come back down. Gordy tries again, and again Frank is able to block the attempt. Finally Frank lifts Gordy up instead, his arms trapped behind his back, the wildman carries Gordy around the ring before he finally just falls to his butt, smashing Gordy with some weird reverse piledriver.
Howley: OH GOODNESS! Frank’s offense is ugly as sin, but I don’t know if anyone would get up from that.
Frank moves over to his corner, where Freddy Kilgore is now standing, clearly not feeling well. Kilgore asks for the tag anyway, not wanting to disappoint the fans. Frank asks if he’s sure, and Kilgore nods. The fans cheer loudly as the tag is made and the official claps signaling that it’s official.
Kilgore steps in and moves to intercept Gordy who is attempting to get up. Yama starts to get into the ring as well, untagged. The referee gets in front of Shujin to stop him but he’s quickly shoved aside like a ragdoll.
Moss: NOW THAT’S UNCALLED FOR! SHUJIN YAMA, OUR PREMIER AMERICAN CHAMPION JUST PUSHED THE REFEREE BACKSIDE OVER TEAKETTLE!
Howley: He’s down Moss! The official is down, and Shujin Yama is going right for Kilgore.
Setting up Lovett for a move, Feral is unaware that Yama is in the ring. With a double ax handle smash, Yama makes his presence known. Gordy is quick to recover with Yama on Kilgore and goes and attacks Frank, sending him off the apron to the floor. Lovett then turns and it becomes a two on one on former Premier American Champion, Freddy Kilgore.
The official is getting back up and sees the two on one in the ring, he remembers getting knocked down by the champion, and he immediately calls for the bell. When the bell rings, Gordy Lovett looks around and sees the referee, he starts berating him for calling the match. Backing him into the corner, he starts to wonder why the fans are cheering and he looks around. When he turns the only thing he sees is Steel Chain coming right for him.
WACK! WACK! WACK!
King Kong Frank has his chain and is lambasting Gordy Lovett with it. He hits him over and over until he falls out of the ring. The fans in the Classic Studio are going nuts. Then Frank turns and looks at Yama. The champion is busy beating on Kilgore and also gets introduced to Frank’s steel chain! Yama is quick to bail out of the ring after only a couple of strikes.
Moss: Wow! Frank cleans house with that chain. He’s got Kilgore’s back! There’s no love lost between Shujin Yama and Freddy Kilgore, what’s going to happen when these two collide again one on one!? It’s clear Kilgore won’t stop until he wins or Yama kills him, which at this rate, might just be a possibility! But we’re out of time folks, thanks so much for ….
The lights go out.
Howley: What the!?
When they come back Lord Colossus is in the ring!
Frank holds the chain up but neither man moves… They stare each other down, daring the other to make the first move.
Officials pour out of the back in droves, including Commissioner Gruff Myers. Yama tries to get back in the ring and grab Kilgore but the droves make it there first and get in between everybody. Wrestlers, referees, and backstage staff are here to make sure no one starts a brawl.
Moss: Folks we’re out of time! What’s going to happen at IN YOUR HAUNTED HOUSE! Join us next time right here on RBTV!