“Waiting on the Bus” by ZZ Top hits the PA system and the fans in the stands start motioning that their honking their horns!
Moss: Big matchup and a big wrestler here Thunderbird as we see everybody’s favorite bus!
Howley: He’s big alright! I think if he’s take this a bit more serious he could be a big contender!
Moss: The Bus has left the station Thunderbird!
an audible sigh from Howley as he indeed comes through the curtain.
Robbins: This next match is scheduled for one fall and has a 20 minute time limit! Coming to the ring first. From “The Downtown Route” This is DOUBLE DECKER!
The fans are all on their feet now, excited as he dances along, honking his own horn on the way to the ring. He makes his way to his own corner as the music changes.
“Personal Jesus” by Depeche Mode comes on and out strolls the self proclaimed Saint of Classic Wrestling.
Robbins: And his opponent, hailing from right here in Cleveland, Ohio… Johnny Saint Nelson!
He saunters out to the ring counting the sinners along the way. There are many of them than you or I would think. JSN tells a couple to give Hail JSN’s tonight.
There is a buzz of anticipation circling through the capacity crowd as the referee moves in to check both men. Double Decker is too busy looking into the crowd, locking eyes with the fans and getting them to HOOOOOOOONK back at him. The ref moves to check Nelson, but Johnny has a complicated relationship with Classic referees, so the holy man shows the striped shirt away. Shrugging, the ref signals for the bell.
DING DING DING!!!
Moss: The holy man vs. a Classic competitor that has gained somewhat of an underground cult following. Both men meet in the center of the ring… wait is Nelson doing?
Howley: It would appear he’s giving The Bus his last rites, Moss. Or would it be last “rides”?
Decker watches quizzically as Nelson moves his hands to save Decker’s mortal soul… and the second “The Saint” finishes, Decker nails a big right hand to the mush!
Moss: And Nelson is down… and rolling out of the ring already.
Howley: The man was cheap shotted, Moss. That’s cause to put the brakes on and reset.
Nelson makes his way around the ringside area, holding his jaw. Double Decker takes the chance to pump his fist up and down and start a “HOOOOONK” chant among the fans. The ref begins a ten count, and just at the count of nine, Johnny Saint Nelson jumps up to the apron. Nelson demands the ref get Double Decker back before he dares step into the ring to resume the contest. Taking advantage of the ref and Decker’s conversation, Nelson suddenly rushes the big man… but he gets caught and LIFTED in a choke lift! Nelson’s legs kick frantically as the ref now admonishes Decker, giving him a five count to release the hold. Instead of dropping Nelson, Decker instead launches him clear across the ring! JSN hits the mat, rolls… and again ducks out under the bottom rope to the ringside floor!
Moss: And this time… JSN seems ready to call it quits!
Nelson makes a “forget this” motion as he turns to head to the back, ignoring the beginning of the ref’s ten count. In the ring, Double Decker looks to the fans and makes a big show of doing the classic “chicken” pantomime. The fans quickly catch on and before you know it, Classic Arena is full of chicken noises! Nelson turns, looks around to see what’s happening, turns red in absolute anger… and runs back into the ring just before the ten count is up!
Moss: JSN back into the ring – unloading on Decker with right hands…
Howley: They’re having zero effect!The Bus watches Nelson’s poor attempts at punches quizzically. JSN rebounds off the ropes, looking for a clothesline… no effect at all. Another… same result. When JSN bounces off the ropes a third time, he runs into a big boot! Decker HOOOOOOONKS before dropping a leg and making the cover!!
ONE!
TWO!!
Howley: JSN’s foot is on the ropes, Moss! That’s called using your brain!
JSN begs off, throwing his hands up and backing into the corner while Decker advances on him. Just as Decker goes to grab him, the man of God rakes the eyes! The ref scolds him but JSN pays him no mind, instead shooting off the ropes and targeting Decker’s knee with a chop block. Another! Another! A fourth FINALLY brings Decker down to a single knee.
Moss: Decker is down on one knee… and JSN is behind him, looking to lock in The Prayer!
Howley: This is it! Nobody gets out of that Full-Nelson.
The fans begin to boo as JSN hooks his arms under Decker’s shoulders… but those boos turn to cheers as Decker clenches his face, shakes his head “NO!”, and locks his arms, preventing Nelson from locking his fingers! The crowd motivates Decker with a “HONK” chant as he is able to get back to both feet, still blocking the determined JSN from locking in his finish. Grunting, Decker is able to throw himself backwards (with Nelson still on his back) into the corner!
Moss: Nelson is crumpled in the corner… and Double Decker is feeling ready for the big splash!
Decker takes position in the opposite corner, pumping his arm and HONKing his heart out. He measures JSN… and he runs…
Howley: NO! Nelson moves at the last second and Decker eats turnbuckle!
Decker stumbles out of the corner and the crafty JSN takes position underneath him, grabbing his knees and trying to pull him down in a sunset flip… but Decker doesn’t go down! Nelson pulls, Decker waves his arms to try to right himself… this goes on for thirty seconds until finally Decker gets solid footing. Decker looks down… and then drops down butt-first to squash The Saint once and for all…
Moss: Nelson got out of the way at the last second!
Decker is sitting, holding his butt in pain after the missed drop. Nelson desperately rebounds off the ropes and flies at Decker, catching him SQUARE in the head with a knee that finally drops The Big Bus to the mat. Nelson covers..
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!!!
The bell rings and JSN rolls out of the ring with his arms in the air. He can’t even believe he pulled this one off based on his expression.
Robbins: Ladies and Gentlemen your winner by pinfall! “The Saint” Johnny Saint Nelson!
Inside the ring the bus is making his way to his feet.
Moss: The Bus had the his brakeline cut there, as he couldn’t stop in time! Slamming into the turnbuckle, before eating the big knee!
Patrick Moss calls it as the replay shows it on the screen. The fans are not happy.
Howley: The Saint has been my spiritual advisor as of late, so I’m glad to see him pick up the win!
Moss: You’re taking advice from this guy?
Howley: Yea who else? Freddie Kilgore? Get outta here!