When we come back from the break Shooter Landell is in the ring and the referee is checking his boots and pads for any foreign objects. He detests being searched.
“RRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAHHHHHH CAVE MAAAAANNNNNNNNNN!”
After the roar and battle cry is heard by all, the opening of “Superpredators” by Massive Attack plays and out comes Jurassic Joe Stone, adorned in a Saber-toothed tiger fur skin and waving his club frantically in the air. Dr. Selah Graves leads him to ring and he reaches out to slap hands with his free hand before arriving. He hands over his fur and cape and then steps over the ropes to deliver another loud battle cry.
Robbins: Ladies and Gentlemen, this following match is scheduled for one fall with a 15 minute time limit! Already in the ring, hailing from Council Bluffs, Iowa… Weighing 260 pounds… This is SHOOTER LANDELL!
The fans boo as Robbins continues.Robbins: And his opponent, Hailing from the Land Before Time, he weighs in at 364 pounds…. “The Wrestler That Time Forgot” JOE STONE!
Stone and Landell anxiously await the opening bell. The ref finishes his checks of the two men and signals for the bell. As if a rocket was strapped to his back Landell rushes the much larger Stone. He attempts a diving clothesline but the much larger man doesn’t budge as Landell lands on the mat. Stone just tilts his head and points towards the ropes while Landell drags himself up to his feet.
Moss: Looks like Landell is going to take him up on his offer for another free shot.
Howley: It’s suicide for Stone. You wait and see…
Landell ricochets off the ropes and leaps in the air for a cross body block. Stone catches him, and doesn’t even stagger. Stone marches around the ring before delivering a huge sidewalk slam. Stone roars to the crowd, as Landell rolls on the mat holding his back. He makes his way to the ropes but right as he was about to pick himself up, Stone places a foot in the small of his back. Then both feet, balancing himself using the top rope. The ref tries to get him to get off of the man, but Stone doesn’t, the ref begins to count. At the count of three Stone steps off of Landell’s back.
Moss: That’s a whole lot of man to be putting his whole weight on his back.
Howley: A smart man rolls out of the ring and take the count out to live another day.
Landell tries to roll under the ropes, but Stone easily grabs him and drags the near lifeless body to the middle of the ring. Landell is wobbling while sitting in the middle of the ring. Stone looks down at Landell while raising a hand high into the sky, and thrusting it downward. Landell comes to at the last second as Stone misses the clubbing blow.
Howley: Now Landell can finally show us what he’s all about.
Landell staggers to his feet but before he could even get a step away, Stone had grabbed him and slammed him onto the mat. Stone holds Landell by a shoulder and this time his blow wouldn’t be dodged.
Moss: CAVEMAN CLUBBIN’!!!
Landell’s body goes limp upon impact and Stone goes for the cover. It’s all but academic at this point.
1!
2!
3!
The bell rings and Joe rolls off of his opponent victorious. The official raises his hands in the air to the delight of the crowd. Joe enjoyed it so much, he has the referee do it a second time, and again the fans cheer. Dr. Graves is eventually able to entice Joe to get out of the ring, and celebrate elsewhere as his theme music plays.
Moss: What a debut for Joe Stone! He wins in convincing fashion here on his first night!
Howley: I just hope Shooter has more bullets in his chamber next time!
Moss: Time will tell Thunderbird! Time will tell. In the meantime Joe Stone is off to a stomping good start!
Howley: You’re only saying that because you want a pair of those fur covered boots!
Joe goes through the curtain with Dr. Graves, but not before ROARING at the crowd one more time.