Moss: Ladies and gentlemen, up next we have a grudge match between… well, what couldn’t be more polar opposites.
Howley: Opposites? Just say it, Moss. One of them is a cartoon character – and Alex Bruder is going to show him what a real wrestler can do right here tonight.
Moss: I’m not so sure about that, partner. Freddy Kilgore has been on a warpath ever since Bruder threatened our esteemed colleague Otto Price. He is a man on a mission… and one that Alex Bruder may not be able to avoid.
The arena lights dim, and Megadeth’s “Train of Consequences” begins to play. “All Business” Alex Bruder emerges from the curtains, lit by a solitary spotlight.
Moss: Bruder marching to the ring with his usual stern demeanor. All of this ill will started back in December, when Alex Bruder unwrapped a box with Freddy Kilgore’s name in it.
Howley: I promise foks, it makes sense in context.
Moss: ”Feral” Freddy Kilgore took him out with the Call of the Wild that night, but in January Bruder returned the favor when he trapped Kilgore in the Cobra Clutch in a tag team match.
Howley: This isn’t soccer, folks, this is wrestling, so tonight we break that tie and see who is the superior professional wrestler.
Bruder climbs the steps, wipes his boots against the apron, and then enters the ring, heading toward the far corner.
Robbins: In the ring at this time, weighing in at 238 Lbs, Hailing from Hillsboro, NC. All Business….ALEX BRUDER!
Alex settles into a deep squat in the corner, his eyes locked on the entrance ramp.
The opening chords of “Wild Side” by Motley Crue fill the arena and the fans rise to their feet in anticipation, as that can only mean one thing – the arrival of “Feral” Freddy Kilgore! Papa Wild Thang himself appears from behind the curtain, with his lovely valet “Wild” Kat Diamond coming up right behind him. The loud colors on Kilgore and Diamond’s outfits are in sync tonight. Kat jumps on Kilgore’s back with an arm around his head for support as he lifts her high into the air and they both let out a primal howl that is answered by the Little Wildhearts in attendance.
Moss: And while Alex Bruder may be all business, few entrances in Classic Wrestling get the people going like Freddy Kilgore’s!
Kilgore puts Kat down as he turns and races to the ring at full speed. He slides under the bottom rope and jumps up to the top turnbuckle, flexing and posing for all the world to see.
Robbins: And his opponent, being accompanied to the ring by “Wild” Kat Diamond… weighing in at 282 lbs… from The Wild Side… “FERAL!” FREDDY! KILGORE!
Kilgore hops down from the apron, clapping his hands and marching around the ring while eyeballing the contrastingly cool-headed Alex Bruder. The fans begin to clap along.
DING DING!
As the fans roar at the official start of the contest, Bruder and Kilgore waste no time in charging into the center of the ring for the lock up! They jockey for position for a few seconds… until Freddy Kilgore just SHOVES Bruder backwards! All Business takes a tumble before using the ropes to right himself. Kilgore, meanwhile, celebrates this first shot by leaning over the ring ropes to howl out into his Wild Hearts! With Wild Kat leading the charge, the people respond in kind with howls of their own!
Moss: Listen to the people!
Howley: It’s not a popularity contest. You’ve got to pin the man in the center of the ring, not dance around until he quits in disgust.
With the people in the palm of his hand, Papa Wild Thang turns back to his opponent. Bruder is quite indignant as he gets back to his feet, but he rushes back in right away for a second lock up. This time, before the larger Kilgore can rely again on his power, Bruder moves quickly to take control with a wrist lock. Using the bent wrist for leverage, he quickly transitions into a hammerlock, now using Kilgore’s whole arm to control the wild beast. Kilgore snarls in frustration as Bruder controls the arm, and then All Business continues to show his technical mastery as he slides over into a headlock, wrapping his arms around Kilgore’s skull. With a superior smirk, Bruder cranks it in as the fans express their displeasure.
Howley: See there, Moss? When the prancing around like a fool stops, the man who actually knows what he’s doing in that ring takes control. Kilgore’s power isn’t going to mean much with the way Bruder can control another man in between the ropes.
Howley appears to be correct as Bruder continues to bear down with his headlock. But All Business’ eyes widen when Papa Wild Thang, flexing his muscles, attempts to power out of the hold… and he sends Bruder into the ropes. On the rebound, Bruder can’t stop himself in time before being sent ass over teakettle with a monstrous shoulder block! Bruder again scrambles out of harm’s way as Kilgore stomps around the ring to the approval of the crowd.
Moss: I wouldn’t discount the power factor just yet, partner.
The cheers turn to jeers as Alex Bruder, not a fan of this turn of events, has rolled under the bottom ropes and out of the ring. Kilgore approaches the ropes in frustration, but he is told to stay back by referee Kevin Clady. Kilgore protests, motioning to Bruder and turning to the crowd for support, but Clady simply tells him to stay in the ring as he turns to begin a ten count.
ONE! TWO! THREE!
Outside the ring, Bruder paces with his hands on his hips as he mentally regroups. The ringside fans are giving him hell but he’s not acknowledging it in the slightest.
FOUR! FIVE! SIX!
Kilgore holds down the bottom rope and motions for Bruder to re-enter the ring. All Business shakes his head and motions for Kilgore to back up before he even thinks about it.
SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE!
At the last second, Alex Bruder hops onto the apron to avoid a count out loss. Bruder scolds Clady, demanding that he force Papa Wild Thang to step back before he comes back in. Clady obliges, putting two hands on Kilgore’s chest to guide the rambunctious wrestler away from the ropes. With a head shake of disgust, Bruder decides to enter the ring… but he has no time to react to Freddy Kilgore breaking free of Clady’s embrace and rushing him! Papa Wild Thang lights Bruder up with big clubbing right hands as All Business tries to cover up!
Howley: This is a competition! There are rules! This is the guy that little kids look up to?
Moss: Bruder made this personal when he involved Otto Price – I don’t think Kilgore thinks of this as just another athletic contest.
Bruder tries to take refuge in the corner, but this just puts him in the perfect position for Kilgore to mount the second rope. Looking down and smiling at the top of Alex’s head, Kilgore points out into the people who respond in kind. Balling a fist, Kilgore unloads with big right hands as the people count along…
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FOUR!
FIVE!
SIX!
SEVEN!
EIGHT!
NINE!
Kilgore stops, cupping his hands to his mouth, and letting loose a ferocious howl before he completes the ten punch combo. Jumping down off the second rope, he whips Bruder across the ring where he collides into the opposite turnbuckle. Eyeing his prey, the hungry predator charges across the ring after Bruder… but Alex manages to dodge out of his path at the last second! Freddy Kilgore hits the turnbuckle chest first and falls backwards, holding his chest in pain.
Bruder drops a knee across the barrel chest of Kilgore, and drags him back to his feet.
Moss: Not sure this is the smartest move. On the mat, Bruder may just have the advantage, but on their feet, Kilgore is a head taller.
Alex fires off a few body shots to Kilgore as Clady warns him about the closed fists, and whips him into the ropes. On the return, he catches the Apex Predator with a drop toe hold, and quickly rolls over the downed man and applies a wrenching headlock, forcing Freddy’s torso off the mat as he cranks the hold.
Howley: I’ve been on the other end of moves just like this. All Business is making it hard for Kilgore to breathe.
Moss: Undoubtedly, but he is fighting for position.
Indeed, Kilgore is able to get his arms underneath his chest, raising his center of gravity and forcing Bruder to stop cranking his head back. Then he brings his right knee under him, and then his left. His palms on the mat, Kilgore pushes up, willing himself to a kneeling position, as Bruder loses his leverage.
Moss: My goodness! Bruder releases the head lock, but hits Kilgore with a rapid set of cross faces!
Howley: Perfectly legal. Clady has a clear eye on it.
Kilgore’s head rocks with each shot, but then he continues shaking his head! He lifts his arms to the sky, and then stands tall, flexing his biceps with his arms in front of him! The crowd roars…and stops as Bruder knees him in the abdomen. Another whip to the ropes, and Bruder lowers his shoulders to toss the big man into the air, but Feral Freddy Kilgore has time to react and punts him in the chest.
“Wild” Kat Diamond cheers on her man from the outside as Kilgore deadlifts Bruder over his head for a press slam. Pressing him in the air once, then twice, but the third time Bruder rakes his eyes, and drops to the mat behind him.
Bruder runs the ropes behind him, and catches Kilgore with a chop block, sending him to the mat once more. Instantly he grabs the ankle, and grabs a single leg crab. He arches his back until it’s nearly touching Kilgore’s.
Howley: Those aren’t the howls the crowd is used to hearing from Kilgore.
Moss: Bruder has always claimed to be a master technician. Can he make “Feral” Freddy Kilgore submit here?
Kilgore’s length is an advantage, as his eyes lock onthe nearest rope. He starts to crawl towards it, again forcing Bruder to sit up and reduce the torque on the hold.
On his belly, he army crawls, inches at a time, while Bruder fights a losing battle to keep him in place. He lunges forward again, now mere inches from the bottom rope! One more lunge….
Moss: He makes it! Kevin Clady is telling Alex Bruder to release the hold.
Reluctantly Bruder releases the hold. Freddy Kilgore pulls himself up to his feet using the ropes, and turns to face his opponent, who has timed it just right to nail him with a running forearm blow.
Kilgore isn’t pushed back. Kilgore isn’t rocked. Kilgore isn’t bothered. He snorts at the smaller man, and the crowd explodes! Bruder seems somewhat concerned with this development as Kilgore begins stomping around the ring, firing up the people and flexing. Bruder tries to take it to Kilgore to break his momentum, but his shots do little to stop Papa Wild Thang’s fury. Kilogre blocks another shot and hooks Bruder up in position for a fallaway slam. He holds him there just long enough to build some anticipation before tossing him overhead and to the mat below. Kilgore is feeling IT as he takes position in the corner, eyeing Alex Bruder and calling for the Call of the Wild.
Moss: If Freddy Kilgore connects with his signature boot to the face, this one will be over!
Kilgore measures Bruder, who is shaking his head to clear the cobwebs and slowly getting back to his feet. Just as Alex gets vertical, Freddy Kilgore charges… but again the cunning Bruder escapes, jumping out of the way and managing to push referee Kevin Clady in Kilgore’s path! Although Papa Wild Thang is able to stop himself from booting the referee in the face, he still can’t completely stop himself and he barrels into Clady with his entire 282 lb frame. Howley: See, Moss!? Kilgore just assaulted a helpless referee!
Moss: Clady is down… and Bruder hits Kilgore with a LOW BLOW! That’s the technical wrestler!?
Howley: I’m sure it was a mistake. Probably was aiming for the stomach.
Kilgore is on the mat, holding his little wild thangs in pain. Alex Bruder looks to Kilgore… looks to the ref… and a slow grin breaks out on his face. He rolls under the bottom rope… and approaches Kat Diamond!
Moss: Wait… he has no business with her.
Howley: He has ALL the business… haven’t you been paying attention?
The spitfire Kat stands her ground as Bruder approaches. We can’t hear what he says, but Alex speaks with a smirk while Kat’s anger only intensifies. To the fan’s approval, she rears back to unleash a slap to Bruder’s face… but the wily wrestler catches the shot and stops her hand’s momentum. A sweep of the leg puts Kat on her back, and the fans let Bruder know what they think about him as he reaches down and… removes one of her high heel shoes!?
Moss: I don’t like where this is going…
Bruder is back in the ring with Kat’s shoe in hand. Clady has just barely begun to stir, while Freddy Kilgore is up to a knee. Bruder lifts the stolen shoe high over his head, ready for it to collide with Kilgore’s face the moment he gets back to his feet.
Howley: How nice! He’s going to return the shoe.
Kilgore turns… Bruder swings…
…but Freddy catches it!! With a flex, he stops Bruder’s hand with his own. Alex’s eyes go wide as he is now staring into the face of a snarling wildman. Bruder begins to backpedal, but Kilgore has a vice grip. Bruder releases the shoe, but Kilgore catches it before it hits the mat. Still holding Bruder, Kilgore raises the shoe, the unspoken question to the fans: should we get some payback? The roar of the crowd indicates that yes… he should. With a grin, Kilgore brings the piece of footwear down right into Bruder’s face! Mr. All Business hits the mat, holding his head in pain… but Kilgore’s smile fades when he turns to face referee Kevin Clady… who saw the whole thing!
Howley: YES! CAUGHT IN THE ACT, MOSS!
Moss: Bruder introduced the shoe!
Kilgore begins to make his case to Clady, pantomiming that Bruder brought the shoe in and was going to hit him. Clady looks apologetic, but he has no choice but to signal for the bell!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Robbins: The winner of this contest… by DISQUALIFICATION… “All Business” Alex Bruder!!
This announcement is not a popular one. In the ring, Kilgore has his hands over his head in frustration as he tries to get the fans to help him get the referee to see the error of his ways. Bruder pulls himself into a seated position… and is very surprised to feel his hand raised in victory! That surprise turns into a smug satisfaction as he realizes what happened.
Moss: I have to say, Freddy Kilgore DID use the shoe… but if we were judging this contest on merit, Kilgore would have won by DQ himself at least twice before now.
Howley: It’s called being a loser. Bruder choked him out weeks ago, and now he’s outsmarted him here. This was a good one!
Freddy Kilgore, now joined in-ring by Kat Diamond, continues to motion frantically to the referee. The fans also do their part to sway his call. Bruder stumbles backwards down the aisle… grinning the entire way.