Moss: Bird, our fans are the best in the world and what a better way to show you their support than a new shirt!
Howley: I love these shirts. We use the best materials, American made, and they not only look good, they feel good too!
Moss: Indeed! Let’s send it down to Otto Price for more information.
Otto Price: Thank you gentleman! We are now fully stocked and ready to ship!!! Just head on over to our website!! I’m pleased to announce just tonight for Classic Fans we will be throwing in the NEWWWWW CW logoed shirt for half price when you buy a shirt of any of your favorite wrestlers! Also the fans in attendance tonight will get a FREEEEEEE CW logo shirt!!!
The crowd in the rafters cheer wildy behind Otto.
Otto Price: Check out this Double Decker shirt and he wants me to let you know all our shirts come in small to Double Decker XXXX. Jack Fargo, Freddile Kilgore, King Kong Frank! My favorite is the Rush Starling lion tattoo print!! All can be yours just head to…..
The crowd starts to jeer as from the back enters the 20 something know-it-all Burton Howell.
Burton Howell: An egregious error has occurred and….who dressed you ZZ TOP on a three day bender with King Kong Frank on grandpa’s moonshine? Who approved this outfit?
Otto Price: What’s wrong with my outfit? Who are you again?
Burton Howell: Who am I? Head of TALENT RELATIONS. I am BURTON HOWELL THE THIRDDDDDD!
The crowd starts a “turd” chant which visibly upsets the chubby kid who shoots a cold stare off camera which is traced to ring announcer Harold Robbins who just has a smirk on his face.
Burton Howell: It’s the THIRD!! 3. Es la tercera cucarachas!! Never mind. I don’t have time to argue with simpletons when I’m here to solve problems. Otto I will leave you notes on your wardrobe selection after the show, and you will need to come to me for approval. But enough about slob central let’s discuss this egregious oversight. No Burton Howell the
Burton’s face turns a scary shade of red as he holds back his anger.
Burton Howell: Third. Shirts. Where is my merch when I’m the…
Moss: Ohhhhhhh Bird, here comes the boss!
Howeley: Just in time because this ole ThunderBird was about to soar in and shut this kid up.
From the back enters the seldom unseen Mr. Jimmy Dale.
Otto Price: Boss what brings you out here?
Burton Howell: Probably here to announce my shirt or give me some kind of award!
Burton goes to shake Jimmy Dale’s hand who reluctantly accepts but brushes it off.
Jimmy Dale: Thank you to all the Classic Wrestling fans, and just a reminder this shirt deal will only last tonight!! I’m not somebody who likes being on camera. I leave that for our talented staff and amazing wrestlers. But Burton I need to talk with you, how about you follow me to the back.
Burton Howell: Well I’d prefer to do it here in front of these fans!! Is it a promotion?
Jimmy Dale: Really we should head to the back.
Burton Howell: I’m cool here JD.
The use of JD seems to strike a bit of a nerve with the boss man.
Jimmy Dale: Well then I guess you leave me no choice. It’s come to my attention you’ve somehow alienated the entire staff and roster in a matter of three weeks. I’ve gotten numerous personal complaints.
Burton Howell: It was that horrible ring announcer wasn’t it? I truly am better qualified for that job.
Jimmy Dale: Multiple complaints.
Burton Howell: Just because Harold Robbins can’t take a note isn’t my problem.
The self proclaimed head of talent relations looks over towards the ring again at ring announcer Harold Robbins and mouths the word “Bitch” or “Snitch” it’s not clear.
Jimmy Dale: Even the crowd doesn’t like you and you’re not even supposed to be on camera.
On cue another “turd” chant breaks out as Burton Howell stomps his feet in anger.
Burton Howell: I’d like to file a harassment complaint against these fans and their vulgar chants!! As head of talent relations it’s absurd.
Jimmy Dale: Well there is that too. You’ve also misrepresented yourself as head of talent relations. You have no such title.
Burton Howell: You gave it to me after we met week one.
Jimmy Dale: I’m sorry I did no such thing.
Burton Howell: YES YOU DIDDDDDDD!!!
Jimmy Dale: Burt. I did not, and I’m not here to argue.
Burton Howell: What are you going to fire me now? That’s original. Give up on a wrestling visionary!
Jimmy Dale: I probably should but out of respect to your father who is a friend of mine and the fact I believe in second chances I’m giving you a different job as an assistant producer that will handle mostly office paperwork and you will be banned from appearing on television.
The crowd cheers wildly as you can practically see steam coming out of Burton’s ears.
Jimmy Dale: We’ve reached our quota of managers here in Classic Wrestling and I have all their paperwork right here in this folder. For your first task I need you to drive these applications to the state athletic board. It’s about an hour drive, and I put some gas money and directions in the folder. So if you would please get these filed so our managers can get licensed I would be…thankful.
Burton Howell: FINE.
The kid rolls his eyes before ripping the folder out of the boss’s hand and starts walking away like a kid who was just scolded.
Otto Price: Get these shirts before our deal expires!! Thank you Mr. Dale!
Otto graciously shakes hands with the boss who waves to the crowd before exiting himself.
Moss: Well Bird I’m glad we got that straightened out. Jimmy Dale is always a fair fella.
Howley: I don’t know Moss. I still have a weird feeling about that kid.