Back from the commercial break and Dewey Smarts is standing in the ring being Canadian. You can clearly see that he’s daydreaming about syrup or hockey or being nice or Alanis Morrisette or Canada Gooses or whatever.
Howley: Looks like Blue Canada’s getting “the treatment” here tonight!
Moss: Blue Canada? You mean Dewey Smarts?
Howley: Look, if this guy doesn’t know that the Canadian flag is red and white, then I don’t have to call him by his name! Dig it
Moss: Will you stop?
Howley: The Magic 8-Ball says: “My sources say no.”
The fans in the Classic Studio know what’s coming, and every last one of them is here for it! They’re on their feet adding their own honks to the cacophony!
#Waiting for the Bus#
ZZ Top drowns out the honking as The Big Grayhound joyfully pulls out of the station and into the ringside area! He takes a lap around the ring, slapping hands with front-row fans before rolling under the bottom rope and into the ring!
Moss: These Classic fans absolutely LOVE The Bus!
Howley: Of course they do, Moss, he’s just like them! Morbidly obese and blissfully ignorant!
Once inside the ring and back up to his feet, Double Decker climbs the turnbuckle with the grace of a Light Heavyweight and makes the internationally excepted hand-signal for “honk” and the crowd is happy to acquiesce to his request!
And the Big Greyhound replies in kind!
Double Decker: HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK!!!
Decker hops down from the turnbuckle like the spry public transit vehicle that he is and turns to face his opponent. The referee makes a few last moment instructions and then steps out of the way, signaling for the bell!
Moss: Here we go, T-bird!
Howley: I’mma go take a squeege, Moss, save my seat!
Moss: Wait, what? You can’t do that on television!
Joel Howley leaves the commentary position, presumably on his way toward the closest men’s room. Patrick Moss continues on undaunted.
DING! DING! DING!
Double Decker takes off like a shot! Dewey Smarts doesn’t move a muscle. Matter-of-factly, he’s stuck in place like a deer caught in headlights! Double Decker crushes him into the corner!
Moss: THE BUS STOP! HE’S SQUASHED DEWEY SMARTS INTO THE TURNBUCKLES!
Dewey staggers out, his eyes are crossed, and he only takes a couple of wobbly steps before face-planting on the canvas. Decker has an idea, he pushes Smarts over onto his back before backing into the ropes for leverage and then stepping in and taking a huge leap, landing hard on top of Dewey with a big splash and then holding on for the lateral press!
Moss: GREYHOUND SPLASH!
DING! DING!! DING!!!
Moss: Double Decker with the decisive win here tonight!
Thunderbird Howley scrambles back into position, half-disheveled and all the way disbelieving!
Howley: Hey! What happened? What’d I miss?
Moss: Double Decker made short work of Dewey Smarts!
Howley: Looks like he squashed him like a bug!
Moss: He did indeed, Thunderbird. He did indeed.