The camera finds its way back to ringside, and hones in on Otto Price.
Price: Ladies and gentlemen, at this time, please welcome the man who will face Vito Valentino for the Real World’s Championship in just two weeks’ time, Shujin Yama!
The boos start before the gong even hits.
But it hits anyway.
The slow, solemn, pride of Kimigayo, the Japanese National Anthem, flows over the sound system, and the boos of the Classic fans turn into jeers as the Oni of Oblivion himself steps out onto stage. Behind him, the wily Sensei Abe Lincoln slips into place, waving the Japanese flag high above his head.
Yama’s white robe splays apart as the massive man raises a mighty foot into the air, and slams it down onto the ground, causing Price to jump a little at the impact. The beast lets out a primal roar, and the flag just keeps waving.
Yama seethes – a default state for him but still notable enough for Price to be hesitant to approach. It’s a telling sign when Sensei Abe Lincoln is the preferred option. Price takes a step to the side, giving Lincoln the cue to slip around his savage champion (or soon to be, anyway).
Price: Sensei Lincoln, thank you for joining me. You and Shujin Yama are only two weeks away from the biggest fight of Shujin Yama’s career. At ClassicMania, he’ll get a shot at Vito Valentino and the chance to take home the Real World’s Championship. How has your client been preparing?
Lincoln snickers, and looks over his shoulder at where Yama stands – steam protruding from his nostrils like a raging bull. A slight movement of Yama’s head gives Lincoln the go ahead, almost like he was granted permission.
Lincoln: How has Shujin Yama been preparing, hmm? Dumb question, Otto-San. You have seen how Shujin Yama has been preparing. Whole world has seen how Shujin Yama has been preparing. More importantly, Vito-San himself has seen how Shujin Yama has been preparing. Shujin Yama destroyed MECCA. Shujin Yama made poor little American child labourer pee pants. And… Shujin Yama saved him. You ask how Shujin Yama has been preparing? Shujin Yama has been showing all, Vito-San included, that this is HIS world. Just as that itsy bitsy trinket will be HIS Real World’s Championship.
Price: Some might say that the steps yourself and Yama have been taking are going to have the opposite effect than intended, however. They might suggest that you’re just getting our Real World’s Champion, Vito Valentino, more fired up.
Lincoln: Fired up for what? To defend his precious MECCA? To defend toys? Games? Fans? To defend typical American capitalism? These are just things, Otto-San! What has Vito-San been unable to defend, however? Himself. His body; his being; his health. Shujin Yama is attacking Vito-San on all fronts, and one or the other… Vito-San must decide to lose one of those fights. Or lose both of them.
“Life in the Fast Lane” hits the speakers and the studio audience goes crazy for their Real World’s Champion. Wearing jeans and an old Joel “Thunderbird” Howley vintage t-shirt, Vito looks out at the crowd, acknowledging them. However, he doesn’t look as jovial as he usually does upon making his entrance. Making a beeline right for the interview platform, Vito Honda the championship gold over his shoulder with great pride.
Otto Price goes to raise the microphone up to his mouth, but Vito Valentino snatches it out of his hands before Price can even utter a word.
Vito Valentino: I don’t care what anti-American reason you have for doing what you did. I don’t care if this is all a false pretence to get under the skin of the Real World’s Champion. What’s done is done and I’m goin’ to have to pick up the pieces for all those fans who love making a trip out to MECCA.
The audience boos this, as upset about Yama destroying MECCA as Vito is.
Vito Valentino: What I do care about is how this blue-collar New Yorker—who’s scratched and clawed his way to the top— is going to do what America is known best for doing to its enemies. Dropping a damn BOMB on someone who likes to take his shots from behind and inflicting pain on others as collateral damage. Nah, see, I don’t care how big you are. I don’t care what Hoy Quarlow over there tries to do with his stick, either. He waves it my way I’ll break it, and HIM, in half. Then, when he’s out of my way? Prepare to be SHOCKED and AWED at CLASSICMANIA. Where I finally get to welcome you… to the METROpolis.
Yama doesn’t take these words kindly. He gets right into the champ’s face, and the production team has to shift into overdrive to censor out whatever obscenities are coming out of the challenger’s mouth. Valentino stands his ground, adjusting the championship on his shoulder.
He then fires a headbutt right into Yama’s nose!
Price: Stand back!
Otto Price’s shriek is directed more to himself than anyone else, as he jumps out of the way while the two stars begin trading blows.
Lefts. Rights. Lefts. Rights. Punches rail in from any and every direction with little attempt from either man at blocking the strikes of the other as the confrontation devolves into an all out brawl – just as it has done every time they have met each other.
Valentino’s size allows him to start getting his shots in quicker, and the big sumo starts backing down the aisle towards the ring as he still tries to throw his own hands. His bulbous backside touches the edge of the ring, leaving him nowhere else to go and forcing him into making a bolder decision. His hands drop, and a few of Valentino’s fists find their way directly to Yama’s face, but it’s all Yama could do in order to clutch at Valentino’s body and muscle his way into a biel toss, hurling Valentino across the ringside area.
But Valentino jumps straight back up!
Using the ring steps for added height, Vito leaps off and soars through the air – leading with his forearm! It collides into the side of Yama’s neck, staggering him back further. And Valentino is back at it, forcing the big guy backwards again.
Yama opts to roll into the ring to escape the barrage, and Valentino follows after. The half-second gap was all Yama needed, however, as he drops a clubbing double axe handle across Valentino’s back, and then tosses him once more. Valentino flies across the ring towards the corner. He hits hard, and is a little slower getting to his feet this time. Using the turnbuckle to help him up, Valentino is right in Yama’s sights, who charges forward at the Real World’s Champion!
But Valentino moves!
Yama collides with the corner, but still he doesn’t fall!
He stumbles back…
Valentino grabs him. He’s going to lift him up! He’s going to bodyslam the big guy!
The champ drops in pain. Sensei Lincoln pulls his wooden cane out from where he had struck it between Valentino’s legs, and the wise man grins devilishly.
With the champ prone, Shujin Yama does the one thing that Yama does better than anybody else – he drops his giant ass on him.
Valentino’s groan of pain is drowned out by the devious cackle of Sensei Lincoln. But Yama is not done. He grabs Valentino by the wrist and drags him towards the corner. Climbing up to the second rope, he bounces in place before leaping off and driving his full body weight down onto Valentino’s chest!
Valentino clutches at his ribs, and Lincoln continues to laugh.
Yama is still not done, however. He climbs up to the second rope once more, and springs off with another thunderous Banzai Drop! Planting directly in the centre of Valentino’s ribs again, and stays there, seated in place.
Sensei Abe Lincoln places the Real World’s Championship over Shujin Yama’s shoulder, just as a horde of officials arrive – too late – to separate the two.